One of the great things about the fraternity boys and being their advisor is that there are never any dull moments. Shawn and I were relaxing on the couch watching Sherlock and one of the boys (you don’t know him and I have never mentioned him and will never reveal his name) showed up and said he needed to talk to me privately. I said sure, and we went into my office and closed the door, and then I got blasted in the face with this unexpected shit that I didn’t see coming:
“I think I have chlamydia. Can you take me to the doctor tomorrow?”
I just burst out laughing.
Me: “You gotta be fucking kidding me. Was it worth it?”
Him: “Oh, Yeah.”
Me: “Why didn’t you wrap?”
Him: “I did.”
Me: “I’m not taking you unless I hear you call her and tell her either you gave her an STD or she gave you one, because she has to know because that could really fuck her up long term fertility and healthwise.”
Him: “I will call her.
Me: “Alright, what time tomorrow?”
I didn’t have kids for a reason, but it appears I ended up with 30 of them. He’s calling her tomorrow (too late tonight and he was kind of drunk because he didn’t really want to deal with this but knew he had to, so opted for liquid courage) before we roll out, because that stuff can really mess up a woman. I’ll follow through.
So yeah. Off to the clinic tomorrow.
And don’t get me wrong- I love that they trust me enough to come to me before their mom and dad, and I will take care of him and get him fixed up (fixed might be a better option) and no one will know. I wish I had me when I was 18. Seriously.
One of the things that is great about being so close to these young guys is that it reminds you how fucked up and clueless you were at that age, so any time I can help out and get guys pointed in the right direction I feel like I am undoing some of the trauma I inflicted on the world while I was a young clueless shithead.