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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Is trump is trying to break black America over his knee? signs point to ‘yes’.

Decision time: keep arguing about the last election, or try to win the next one?

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

Celebrate the fucking wins.

So very ready.

To the privileged, equality seems like oppression.

This fight is for everything.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

So many bastards, so little time.

Keep the Immigrants and deport the fascists!

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

One way or another, he’s a liar.

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You are here: Home / Archives for 2014

Archives for 2014

Late Night Open Thread: Douchecanoe Competition Is Fierce This Week

by Anne Laurie|  September 23, 20142:17 am| 15 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Excellent Links, Open Threads, Sports, Assholes

Last week, TBogg reported that Lanny Davis had shown up to defend “embattled overpaid NFL head and penny-counting situational ethicist Roger Goodell”. Now Deadspin investigates “The Political-Messaging Huckster Behind Roger Goodell’s Awful Presser“:

Roger Goodell was talking, but the words weren’t his alone. “That speech was all Frank,” says an associate of pollster Frank Luntz, lord of the dark arts of political messaging, who frequently works with Goodell and the NFL. “As soon as I heard Goodell’s intro, I was laughing.”

The part that got him giggling was the line “We will get our house in order first.” The NFL commissioner used that same phrase minutes later, in response to a question from a New York Post reporter about whether he would resign. “That’s textbook stuff that Frank uses all the time,” says the source…

As it happened, Luntz himself was watching the press conference, in his capacity as a Fox Sports 1 talking head (he moonlights as a Fox News commentator and analyst). Not long after the commissioner left the podium, Luntz gave his review.

“This,” he puffered, “was language perfection.”...

As a consultant, Luntz is probably most famous for having framed the GOP’s message on the estate tax (or “death tax”) and global warming (or “climate change”). His first noteworthy communications job came as a pollster for Pat Buchanan during a 1992 run at the Republican Party’s presidential nomination. That campaign was one long open appeal to the racist, nativist, homophobic fringe of the right…

In recent years Luntz has begun to move his dial-turning focus groups into the realm of sports. The source, who says that away from work Luntz is “the nicest, most generous man you’ll ever meet,” claims the consultant would never work another campaign if he could get away with it.

So what does it look like when Luntz mixes his passion and his profession? He helped NHL owners craft their propaganda during the 2012 lockout… More recently, Luntz has done some focus-grouping on behalf of Dan Snyder during the owner’s disaster of a campaign to save the Redskins nickname…

It’s likely not a coincidence that three owners with whom Luntz has worked very closely—Washington’s Snyder, Carolina’s Jerry Richardson, and the Bears’ George McCaskey, for whom Luntz emceed a 2012 Veterans Day event in which ex-Bears and military veterans discussed concussions and brain trauma—were among the first and few owners to publicly support Goodell after TMZ released the second Ray Rice video and put the NFL in its current state of crisis…

So… any bets on the next Grima Wormtongue to speak professionally in Goodell’s defense? Karl Rove? Grover Norquist?

Late Night Open Thread: Douchecanoe Competition Is Fierce This WeekPost + Comments (15)

Again, Not the Onion

by John Cole|  September 23, 20141:45 am| 8 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes

Just read this gem in the NY Times:

notheonion

I think I hear comedy writers everywhere giving up.

BTW- I am watching Madam Secretary because I love Bebe Neuwirth, but the show is pretty bad. It’s really quite cheesy and kind of a mix of 24 and a parody of the West Wing so far. I love Tea Leoni’s voice, too. On the upside, it is so shallow that I can catch up on news and burn up some time before bed (I napped for too long too late in the day).

Oh, we’re also bombing ISIS again. I was unaware we had stopped, so I am not as excited as the very serious people with accents on CNN.

Again, Not the OnionPost + Comments (8)

I’ll Take GAPING ASSHOLES for $2000, Alex

by John Cole|  September 23, 201412:32 am| 97 Comments

This post is in: Go Fuck Yourself

Posted without comment:

Nothing sadder than a hot person in a wheelchair.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 22, 2014

I’ll Take GAPING ASSHOLES for $2000, AlexPost + Comments (97)

Because I Love You All So Much

by John Cole|  September 22, 201411:46 pm| 55 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links

I really wish I could describe how much I like this, but here are iconic portraits throughout history recreated with John Malkovich:

Sounds great! Who the fuck is John Malkovich?

Because I Love You All So MuchPost + Comments (55)

Monday Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  September 22, 20149:05 pm| 120 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Dog Blogging, Open Threads

The Jets are up to their usual antics, so no football thread. Some cool pet pics, though.

Shawn and I were sitting on the porch like two country bumpkins (it’s funny, when I was a kid, I used to think old people like to sit on their porch a lot), when Steve spotted a cat in the neighbor’s yard:

stalking

stalking2

The grass is still green, and if you look at the second picture, you can see sunflowers that were actually leftovers from the bird feeder that we just let go. They finally bloomed.

Despite the green, the temps have dropped around here, and we are in that crappy phase (for me) where my sinuses readjust and the creaky joints start to ache a little bit more. In a couple of weeks I will be adjusted and feel better.

I have noticed that since I quit drinking, I get chilly a lot more often, so I am already in heavy bathrobe (I have different ones for different seasons) and wool sock mode even though it is not yet October. I’m not the only one, and sometimes during the day I walk by my bedroom and see this:

lilyboobed

Despite being a little dog with very little mass, when she looks all cozy like that she has the gravitational pull of the Death Star, and more often than I would like to admit I go join her for a nap. The piglets always know the most comfortable spots in the house.

Oh, and Rosie is behind the recliner in full on bitch mode and snarls at me every time I try to take her picture.

Monday Night Open ThreadPost + Comments (120)

Open Thread: Your Evening WTF

by Anne Laurie|  September 22, 20149:03 pm| 16 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Open Threads, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome

From NYMag:

U.S. officials have located the three Afghan army officers who went missing this weekend during a field trip to the Cape Cod Mall in Hyannis, Massachusetts. Jan Mohammad Arash, Mohammad Nasir Askarzada, and Noorullah Aminyar were apprehended at the Niagara Falls Rainbow Bridge, as they tried to cross into Canada.

The men are apparently currently in Canadian custody, after they walked up to a border patrol agent and requested asylum in America’s northern neighbor. It’s not immediately clear whether they’ll be shipped back to Cape Cod to continue military exercises, or whether they’ll be detained and returned to Afghanistan…

Law-enforcement officials said throughout that the three missing soldiers posed no threat to the general public, as participating troops had been carefully vetted. A similar incident happened earlier this month when two Afghans training with the DEA (you know, opium) walked off in D.C…

Mandatory old phart reference: The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming. Sproot!

Open Thread: Your Evening WTFPost + Comments (16)

Long Read: “From Watts to Ferguson”

by Anne Laurie|  September 22, 20148:21 pm| 5 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links, Post-racial America, Shitty Cops, Nobody could have predicted

A little supplemental history to Cole’s latest post, from Rick Perlstein, at In These Times — “The riot is still ‘the language of the unheard’“:

It usually started with the police.

In July of 1964, barely hours after the close of the Republican National Convention that nominated Barry Goldwater, 15-year-old James “Little Jimmy” Powell was shot to death by an off-duty cop in an apartment building vestibule on East 76th Street in New York. Just as in the shooting of 25-year-old Kajieme Powell this past August 19 in St. Louis, the officer claimed that the victim had charged him with a knife, though eyewitnesses denied that. A bystander cried, “Come on, shoot another nigger!” Within hours, Harlem was ablaze.

That was the first in the wave of apocalyptic racial riots that swept American cities in the 1960s. Later that week, in Rochester, New York, the fires started after cops roughed up the very woman who’d called them in to break up a rowdy, drunken party. The next summer, in Watts, Los Angeles, the most famous of the 1960s riots kicked off after police hit people with batons at the scene of a drunk-driving arrest. In 1966, in Chicago, it began when cops turned off a fire hydrant in which kids were frolicking on the third straight day of 90-degree heat. In 1967, the most tumultuous year, the first riot came after cops in Newark beat a cabdriver because they thought he was a Black Muslim.

The parallels with this summer’s uprising in Ferguson, Missouri, following the shooting of Michael Brown, an unarmed 18-year-old, are undeniable…

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Long Read: “From Watts to Ferguson”Post + Comments (5)

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