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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / JEB!, Lunging to Pander: Today’s Timeline

JEB!, Lunging to Pander: Today’s Timeline

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JEB!, dude, you know and I know and they know you know: The Southern Baptists are not voting for you in the GOP primary. You’ll be lucky to get their votes in 2016, even if the competition is Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Satan (assuming the SBs can differentiate between those three). Why say this crap, howevermuch it balms your wondered wounded spirits, when it’s not gonna win you any votes and it’s guaranteed to make you a media pincushion… again?

I swear, I have not seen a professional politician campaign this ineptly, and half-heartedly, since Teddy Kennedy primaried Jimmy Clinton Carter in 1980. And Teddy had the Secret Service funneling him a steady stream of plausible assassination threats. What’s keeping JEB! from dropping out before he embarrasses himself any further? The Look Bar will give him at the family compound, come Thanksgiving?

Townhall political editor:

Professional conservative commentor for hire:

Bonus public embarrassment from last night’s debate, via the NYTimes:

… Mr. Bush, the former Florida governor, whose eight years out of office has left many wondering about his adroitness as a debater, delivered a low-key and sometimes halting performance — particularly on the subject of the Islamic State. He said America “needs to pick a strategy and stick with it,” but when asked about putting American forces on the ground to fight it, his answer seemed wobbly: “I’m not sure that’s necessary.”

He also stammered through his attempt at a joke about his famous family. “My dad is the probably the most perfect man alive, so it’s very hard for me to be critical of him,” he said. “In fact, I’ve got a T-shirt that says, uh, at the Jeb swag store, that says I’m the, um, I’m the, my dad’s the greatest man alive. If you don’t like it, I’ll take you outside.”…

Chroist Jayzuz, as my old man would’ve said, this is the best the Repubs can do for a “sane, grownup” candidate?!?

And here we were all expecting Trump/Cruz/Perry/Santorum to do something insane during the Fox debate on Thursday. I guess when the Rich WASPs break, they break bad(ly).

Reader Interactions

253Comments

  2. 2.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    In fact, I’ve got a T-shirt that says, uh, at the Jeb swag store, that says I’m the, um, I’m the, my dad’s the greatest man alive. If you don’t like it, I’ll take you outside.”…

    Has the resemblance to his father ever been stronger?

  5. 5.

    Calouste

    I don’t expect Jeb! to do something insane, I just expect him to have an utter deer-in-the-headlight moment like Perry had in 2012.

  7. 7.

    Jeffro

    I think you can still expect Cruz and Trump to do something insane during the debates. Try and think of one of The Anointed Ten who hasn’t gone severely off of the rails already (much less the “kiddie table” GOPers)

    Phones in blenders, bacon-wrapped machine guns, trickle-down economics – the insanity just never ends!

  8. 8.

    slag

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    In fact, I’ve got a T-shirt that says, uh, at the Jeb swag store, that says I’m the, um, I’m the, my dad’s the greatest man alive. If you don’t like it, I’ll take you outside.”…

    That shirt hangs in his closet right next to his “Chicks! Who needs ’em?” t-shirt. Very stylish JEB is.

  10. 10.

    Mike in NC

    JEB! has a hundred things going against him, the last name for starters, but UNLIMITED CORPORATE CASH will be his salvation, according to the new troll.

    In reality, JEB! will be beaten like a rented mule by Trump on Thursday night. He won’t be the first hack to drop out, but it’ll happen eventually. Six months, tops.

  11. 11.

    BBA

    “You cannot be president of the United States if you don’t have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can’t be. And we are blessed. So don’t feel sorry for — don’t cry for me, Argentina. Message: I care.”

  12. 12.

    jl

    Jeb!’s statement was worse in context. He took a break from pandering on using the crooked and dishonestly edited Planned Parenthood video released by a fraudulent front group to say, parenthetically, that hey, we spend too much on women’s health research and programs, anyway.

    His walk back is sad and pathetic. No, Jeb!, that was not the point you were making. You decided to veer from the point you were making about Planned Parenthood to make this other point that we spend too much on women’s health.

    I sure hope this playbook does not confuse Chuck Todd the way Trump’s does, or poor Chuck will be a shambles soon.

  13. 13.

    gene108

    I wish the media asks Jonh Ellis, what he thinks about Title X, which from my understanding helps fund Planned Parenthood.

    Title X was championed in Congress by then Congressman George Herbert Walker Bush.

    After the extremely divisive presidential election in 1968, a conservative president, his conservative vice president and a divided Congress continued the War on Poverty by passing the laws that would create Title X: dedicated funding for family planning, so that the most vulnerable in our country could receive services to plan their families. In 1969, President Richard M. Nixon said: “It is my view that no American woman should be denied access to family planning assistance because of her economic condition.… This we have the capacity to do”.1 The chief sponsor of the Title X statute, George H.W. Bush, then a US Representative, said even more powerfully: “We need to make population and family planning household words. We need to take sensationalism out of this topic so that it can no longer be used by militants who have no real knowledge of the voluntary nature of the program but, rather are using it as a political stepping stone. If family planning is anything, it is a public health matter”.2

    arhp.org/publications-and-resources/contraception-journal/september-2011

  14. 14.

    Howard Beale IV

    Ugh- to think that us US citizens are forced to put up with shit for the next 400+ days?!?

    And the Canadians are bitching that forming their new government is going to the the longest on record at 90 days?

    You Canadian citizens should be kissing the very ground you walk on that you don’t have such a fucked up system like you neighbors to the South have. And I we hear one peep otta yer asses we’ll kidnap Ted Cruz and drop his ass back in Calgary, mmkay?

  16. 16.

    Tom Q

    @gene108: I seem to remember reading in What It Takes that GHWBush was such a relentless supporter of birth control that his fellow Reps called him “Rubbers”.

  17. 17.

    jl

    Watched the clip of Jeb!’s response to question about terrorism. These guys spout such total easily refutable BS. Jeb! said that are ‘doing nothing’ about IS group. OK, that will be a slow fat pitch down the middle in a debate with any of the Democrats running.

    If the GOP were smart, they would take up Sander’s idea for GOP-Democratic debates during the primary. ‘Cause, right now they are so insulated from reality, they and their primary voters are just standing around sniffing each other’s farts in a small closed room. Might be fun for people with certain tastes in enjoyable recreation, but it isn’t going to go over well in the general election.

  19. 19.

    geg6

    @rikyrah:

    I agree. Who was it who was always saying Jeb! was the smart one? Shrub at least had some political skills. Jeb!’s got nothin’ as far as I can see.

  20. 20.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @geg6: They also said Jeb! was the Boy Scout of the family, the quiet, responsible brother.

  22. 22.

    jl

    @geg6:

    ” Who was it who was always saying Jeb! was the smart one? ”

    Very Serious People have been saying that for years. It must be true.

  23. 23.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    I’m watching just how inept this field of GOP presidential candidates is and I’m thinking, “Holy fuck! Donald Trump and the albino muskrat on his head actually could win the nomination.”

  24. 24.

    Heliopause

    women’s health issues

    Maybe I’m just strange, but “women’s health issues” were also “male health issues” for me and most of my friends back in the day. How did this issue get so segregated and sanitized in our discourse (rhetorical question)? And who are all these males who pay no attention to it throughout their adult lives (another rhetorical question)?

    Says on Wikipedia that Jeb only has three children in spite of being Roman Catholic. How does he think this miracle occurred? Or is he just really good at, uh, low-tech methods?

  25. 25.

    Tripod

    I’ve never thought much of his campaign skills. He lost to Lawton Chiles in a GOP wave year ffs.

  26. 26.

    gene108

    @Tom Q:

    Hate to see how big a brood Bush, Sr and Babs the Elder would’ve had, if not for family planning.

    Also too, the Republicans, as part of their effort to get the government funded, during the 2011 shut down, tried to make stripping funding from Title X a bargaining chip. I wonder how that would make John feel in dealing the same whackos, who wanted to gut his father’s legacy.

    It really is interesting watching people try to thread the needle between appealing to the fundies, while not coming off like a god-botherer to the rest of the public.

  28. 28.

    Splitting Image

    There are approximately 100 million adult women in the United States. A half billion dollars works out to about five bucks a year per woman. Jeb just said that that is too much for the likes of you.

    And he meant it too.

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    @jl: I believe it’s a sentient creature of some sort, that’s extended tendrils into Trump’s brain and is operating him like a puppet. Go ahead, prove me wrong.

  30. 30.

    RaflW

    I am imagining a TV (and web, etc…) ad late in the campaign. I shows a man walk into a CVS style drug store. He asks where the condoms are. The clerk says, go ask in the back. Cut to him asking a crabby looking white Republican-ish man. Who says, while shaking his head, “Well, are you married? Do you have a health concern? Why do you need condoms?”

    Cut to the Democratic nominee looking direct at the camera, s/he says “Planning for parenthood is everyone’s right. I’m _____ and I approve this message.”

  31. 31.

    Tree With Water

    “My dad is the probably the most perfect man alive, so it’s very hard for me to be critical of him,” he said. “In fact, I’ve got a T-shirt that says, uh, at the Jeb swag store, that says I’m the, um, I’m the, my dad’s the greatest man alive. If you don’t like it, I’ll take you outside.”…

    Jeb! will never be POTUS.

    R.I.P. Terry Schiavo

  32. 32.

    Kropadope

    particularly on the subject of the Islamic State. He said America “needs to pick a strategy

    Is he saying that Obama doesn’t have a strategy? I don’t buy it.

    and stick with it,”

    Wasn’t that his brother’s problem?

  34. 34.

    Chris

    JEB!, dude, you know and I know and they know you know: The Southern Baptists are not voting for you in the GOP primary. You’ll be lucky to get their votes in 2016, even if the competition is Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Satan (assuming the SBs can differentiate between those three). Why say this crap, howevermuch it balms your wondered spirits, when it’s not gonna win you any votes and it’s guaranteed to make you a media pincushion… again?

    It’s not just about Southern Baptists. It’s about Republican voters. Sexism is a disease that runs through their entire base, it’s a lot bigger than the religious right. Dudebro-glibertarians who don’t give a flying fuck about Jeebus are just as dedicated to keeping women in their proper place, and businessmen are perfectly happy with the argument that half their employees don’t deserve full health insurance (whether provided through taxes or mandated health benefits).

  35. 35.

    aimai

    @Heliopause: Also, do they not realize that women are half the population? So out of 300 million they are 150 Million? So “half a billion” dollars spent on women’s health care is, basically, nothing but at least it should be measured against whatever is spent on men’s health care and be equivalent to that. ETA: what I’m trying to say is that JEB Clearly feels that women are some kind of “minority” group–but they are not. They are literally the definition of NOT A FUCKING MINORITY.

  36. 36.

    JPL

    In some ways I think Trump is going to appeal to the Democrats that jumped ship during the Reagan years. I don’t understand the evangelical appeal though.

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne): JEB! seems to tangle himself up in these dangling parentheticals out of sheer resentment that he has to sell himself to “the little people” — voters. Like the time, running for governor, when he was asked on camera what he’d do for Florida’s African-American voters, and he replied “Probably nothing.”

    His handlers tried to spin it as bold truth-telling from a git-gubmint-offa-yer-backs kinda guy, but the clip made it clear JEB! just hated having to pretend to care about people who weren’t Our Kind, Dear. He’s the Bush boy who looks most like Barbara, and he seems to have inherited her distaste for the proles as well.

    Poppy couldn’t get out of his own way if you gave him a rope line and a guide dog, and Dubya didn’t give a flying fart (I still think Dubya’s ADHD, which was part of his “charm”, and I say that as someone who’s ADHD). But JEB! disdains this whole tedious politicking sport — why can’t us peons just shut up and accept the choices of Their Betters?

    I don’t think it’s gonna wear well. On the other hand, the “responsible” GOP alternative seems to be… Scott Walker. Maybe we can pray for an outbreak of poisoned caviar and cheez whiz at the RNC convention?

  38. 38.

    rikyrah

    uh huh

    uh huh

    ……………….

    Trump Adviser Roger Stone Calls Hispanic And Black Commentators “Quota Hires”

    Blog ››› 9 hours and 45 minutes ago ››› ERIC HANANOKI

    Paid Donald Trump adviser Roger Stone, who frequently appears on television as a political pundit, called political commentators Ana Navarro and Roland Martin “quota hires.”

    Stone wrote in a July 28 tweet:

    Roger Stone
    ‏@RogerJStoneJr
    Ana Navarro the dumbest person on TV since CNN fired moron @rolandmartin – both quota hires #CNN

    mediamatters.org/blog/2015/08/04/trump-adviser-roger-stone-calls-hispanic-and-bl/204753

  40. 40.

    Chris

    @geg6:

    Who was it who was always saying Jeb! was the smart one?

    Wasn’t it the Bushes themselves? Not in so many word, but I seem to recall that the family’s hopes for the next generation were initially resting on Jeb, but George surprised people by outperforming him.

  41. 41.

    Matt McIrvin

    What’s keeping JEB! from dropping out before he embarrasses himself any further?

    The UNLIMITED CORPORATE CASH may not get him elected, but it’ll probably keep him in the race.

  42. 42.

    GregB

    Ann, I apologize for being so pissy this morning.

    Raven was right, I was being hypersensitive.

    I enjoy your posts.

  43. 43.

    RaflW

    And another ad with women running towards a finish line, dressed in pink, being congratulated, looking tired but proud (carefully not having any branding of the charity(ies). Voice over says “290,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer just this year. Who do you want to be setting health policy?” Cut to scary photo of jeb. with his actual voice saying “I’m not sure we need half a billion dollars for women’s health issues.” Ask the GOP why healthcare is not important for you or your family.
    (Then the quick ‘this ad independent expenditure not coordinated blah blah committee to ratfvk….)

  44. 44.

    gene108

    @Heliopause:

    Says on Wikipedia that Jeb only has three children in spite of being Roman Catholic. How does he think this miracle occurred? Or is he just really good at, uh, low-tech methods?

    He just abstained from having sex with his wife, unless they were planning to procreate obviously.

    Also wonder how the Republican Catholics can reconcile their faith in free markets, the need of the rich to get richer and the poor to get poorer, as well as allowing corporations to ransack the environment, with their Church’s teachings on the environment and social justice issues?

    According to Laurel Kearns, associate professor of sociology of religion and environmental studies at Drew University, the Catholic Church has long looked at environmental issues through a moral lens. She noted that both Pope Benedict and Pope John Paul II set precedent for Francis’ encyclical by speaking publicly about climate change, and also pointed to orders like the Franciscans, who have worked on environmental issues for decades.

    thinkprogress.org/climate/2015/06/17/3670214/catholicism-environmental-history-encyclical/

    Even before Pope Francis, the “good” Popes like JPII were warning us to do something about climate change.

  45. 45.

    Chris

    @Anne Laurie:

    JEB! seems to tangle himself up in these dangling parentheticals out of sheer resentment that he has to sell himself to “the little people” — voters.

    Romney gave off that impression in spades, too – it’s a big part of the reason why I felt comfortably confident, over a year before the election, that we were going to win (it was obvious he’d be the candidate, and it was obvious that he’d be an utterly terrible one).

    If Jeb can’t improve on that, he’s in the shit. When the voting population is in the vicinity of 50/50, little things like that really make a difference, and voters can tell the difference between someone who really enjoys being out among them and a stiff ass who’s just pretending.

  47. 47.

    mai naem mobile

    Maybe,just maybe Jebeh! doesn’t want to be president and this is either a grifting exercise or he’s doing it out of familial responsibility/family pressure i.e. fixing the Bush reputation for his son to run in the future.

  48. 48.

    Tripod

    @Kropadope:

    Old Man McCain tried laying that strategy & tactics bullshit on Obama. I’m fairly certain he didn’t bother with the required reading while they sweated him through Annapolis, but whatever. It was just a polite way to say the black guy isn’t as smart as me. Same deal will apply with Hillary. If Sideshow Jeb insists on stepping on that rake, please proceed Governor.

  49. 49.

    jl

    To be fair to Jeb!, it does occur to me that he does have one amazing, rare, competence: he presents his flubs and gaffes very efficiently in ways that can be captured in a devastating 30 second attack ad, with plenty of time to spare to display Jeb!’s sneering expressions (edit: AL nailed it above: sneering resentment) and inability to interact coherently, and for sarcastic commentary by his opponent.

    If Jeb! is the nominee and this comes up, the fact that his excuse is just flat not true is apparent in a ten second clip. A fifteen or twenty second montage will give a complete history of his tragic agony over whether (knowing what we know now) he would invade Iraq.

    This is rare talent, I think we should acknowledge it in fairness to Jeb!, and give him our thanks.

    A doofus, but amazingly efficient human machine at converting elapsed time into evidence that he is a doofus.

  50. 50.

    RaflW

    @Anne

    Chroist Jayzuz, as my old man would’ve said, this is the best the Repubs can do for a “sane, grownup” candidate?!?

    The establishment wing of the GOP, such as it has existed, is either on a boat in the Caribbean, counting thieir offshore billions, or hunkered down wondering where the kill switch is on the Tea-bot it built and can’t control. No one wants to run for Prez from the establishment. Including, rather obviously, jeb..

  51. 51.

    gene108

    @JPL:

    In some ways I think Trump is going to appeal to the Democrats that jumped ship during the Reagan years. I don’t understand the evangelical appeal though.

    Evangelicals, with the exception of a few folks like President Carter, are by and large the descendants of the people, who fought tooth and nail against integration; the people whose ancestors pulled their parents or grandparents out of public schools and enrolled them in private Christian academies to avoid going to school with Negroes.

    They find racism appealing. They use their religion to justify their bigotry. The two together, glove-in-hand, for them.

  54. 54.

    jl

    @Doug R: However, I think it unfair to conclude that Jeb! is a sexist. I have faith he will cut men’s children’s and old people’s health research and clinical programs too. But he will be low key civil and play by the political rules while doing so, and Chuck Todd will be happy.

  56. 56.

    beltane

    @Doug R: Five bucks a woman is good framing, just the type of thing that would induce Donald Trump to say “I’ll take all of them.”

  57. 57.

    Mike in NC

    @Tripod: McCain didn’t so much sweat through Annapolis as he did skate based on his family connections. He slipped in via the back door and seldom cracked a textbook, which is why he didn’t get expelled and graduated near the bottom of the class.

  58. 58.

    sukabi

    @rikyrah: had to see if that was the same Roger Stone that’s been creeping around behind the screens for decades, and what do you know…yes it is.

    This is going to be a rather interesting, scorched earth primary season.

  59. 59.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’ve got a T-shirt that says, uh, at the Jeb swag store, that says I’m the, um, I’m the, my dad’s the greatest man alive.

    @BBA:

    Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can’t be. And we are blessed. So don’t feel sorry for — don’t cry for me, Argentina. Message: I care.

    Y’know, I had thought that Sarah Palin kind of invented Republican Word Salad. I see I am wrong.

  60. 60.

    Randy P

    OT but we had a special election today for a State House seat (Delaware County PA), to replace a R who stepped down for what I gather were not totally explained reasons (he went back to work in the DA’s office and they claimed that he’d just been on leave of absence, but nobody had ever heard about this leave of absence when he was elected).

    Anyway, the Democrat is leading, 53-47%.

    Progress, a millimeter at a time. We have a brand new Democratic governor (and a mess of a state he inherited from wingnut Tom Corbett). And with any luck, we’ll have two Democratic Senators after 2016.

  61. 61.

    Morzer

    @gene108:

    I hate snakes with an utter passion, but I root for them over the Fundies any day of the week and double on Sundays.

  63. 63.

    lamh36

    Lordt, i guess we can expect alot of these bullshit articles as we get close to the 10 year anniversary of Katrina.

    But this is a bullshit headline…and a bit tone deaf.

    Yeah…ya know with all the dead folks and longtime residents displaced…and less of those Black folks who played a big part in creating the many of the dishes and cuisines NOLA is known for…

    NYT with another clueless twitter headline.

    @nytimes
    Decade after Katrina, New Orleans is a better place to eat than it was before the storm

    ETA: Just FYI, I’ve had a lot of NOLA folks who have also rolled their eyes at this NYT article.

  65. 65.

    Ruckus

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym:
    What’s even more amazing is that he may be the best of the lot. Of course that albino muskrat would be the better candidate. Or my first dog, whose been dead for over 4 decades. Or any number of people picked at random off the street might be a better president than any of the repubs. Hard to believe they’d be any worse.

  67. 67.

    slag

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Y’know, I had thought that Sarah Palin kind of invented Republican Word Salad. I see I am wrong.

    Huh? GW was Sarah Palin in a cravat. And he showed up first.

  68. 68.

    the Conster

    I don’t see how JEB gets the nomination. I know he has the most money, but I just can’t see how he appeals to the racist morons who will crawl over glass to vote.

  70. 70.

    jl

    @slag: A difference is that GW has the sense to know when to stop talking. Palin does not. For Jeb, once he opens his mouth, the results are fatal, makes no difference how long before he decides to shut up.

  71. 71.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @the Conster: I was listening to Lawrence O’Donnell in the car, quoting a GQ report from an Iowa Trump rally. It was mostly about Moozlims, Trump is gonna fire Obama, Kerry and “all the other Moozlims”. That same genius says he’s confident Trump can be president because “have you seen the Apprentice?”

    That moron, and the other morons quoted, probably vote in every damn election, down to the primary for county recorder of deeds. And they’ll hold their noses and vote for Jeb! (assuming he makes it past Walker, who I think is the biggest threat to the Restoration)

  72. 72.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @Anne Laurie: You made me laugh with the line about poisoned caviar. Maybe just some bad shellfish would do as well. Of the trio I prefer Poppy, but I’d like to have had him without his “handlers”. Doonesbury got it right, about him having to put his manhood in a blind trust. I have amused myself no end by enlightening enthusiastic Republicans who try to talk about Reaganomics; none of them knew who called it Voodoo Economics.

    I was asking about that phrase: wondered spirits. I have not seen it before and am not sure what it means. I thought maybe it was words chosen for you by autocorrect.

  74. 74.

    mai naem mobile

    Roger Stone was going after Elliot Spitzer right before the hooker scandal. I’ve wondered if he happened to know about the investigation or if he got it going in the first place.

  76. 76.

    Mandalay

    @Ann Laurie:

    I swear, I have not seen a professional politician campaign this ineptly, and half-heartedly, since Teddy Kennedy primaried Jimmy Clinton in 1980.

    You may well turn out to be right eventually. He’s been a train wreck so far, but Dole ’96 set the bar pretty low.

  79. 79.

    the Conster

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    If Trump, Bush and Walker are their choices, why wouldn’t they vote for Trump? I don’t understand how Trump doesn’t get the nomination if he’s most voters first choice.

  80. 80.

    Keith P.

    @rikyrah: I won’t go that far, but I do think everyone at this point knows that “Jeb is the smart one” is not the same thing as “Jeb is the smartest one in the family”

  81. 81.

    Mandalay

    @jnfr:

    I’m embarrassed for him in spite of being a Democrat.

    Don’t be.

    Those of us who had to endure him as governor know that under the soft voice and the college professor demeanor he is a mean, nasty piece of shit who is all about the 1%. Unlike most of his rivals he exudes a veneer of decency and civility, but he is just as vile and amoral as the rest of the clown car.

  82. 82.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    “I like what he has to say. He won’t take no shit from nobody.”
    What’s your favorite thing he’s said?
    “You’re fired!”
    Who would you like him to fire, besides Obama?
    “Let’s see: John Kerry, our last governor, the attorney general, every Muslim that they put in…”

  84. 84.

    slag

    @efgoldman: We can debate about this, but my several interweb links to GW’s verbal incoherence are in moderation. I believe a simple google search would settle things nicely, however.

  85. 85.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    more from Trumpland

    “I like that Trump won’t back down,” Karen told me. “He says what he means and he means what he’s saying. He ain’t going to say he’s sorry. Sometimes he likes to say things not politically correct, but they all better get used to that. The people who do speak politically correct have been losers.”
    “They constipated America!” Diane said, rocking a House of Blues t-shirt. “What we have had is politicians and lawyers who have constipated America. Let’s get a businessman in there and get things moving! We need our new MiraLAX!”

  86. 86.

    RaflW

    BTW, the Times has a third piece up in their tendentious and highly tedious set of “Biden might run!” breathless piles of steaming garbage. WTF, TImes? He has not said boo about running.
    The Times is going down the crapper in a hurry.

  88. 88.

    Mandalay

    @RaflW:

    Voice over says “290,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer just this year.

    Jeb!’s web site has a page which attempts to champion his efforts for women. This is one of the five bullet points:

    Bush Signed Into A Law An Act Establishing A “Fight Breast Cancer” License Plate Whose Proceeds Go To Funding Breast Cancer Research.

    When you are reduced to bragging that you allowed a new license plate help fund breast cancer reseach you really are scraping the barrel. Jeb! is not a new kid on the block – the fucker is 62. Can he really not come up with anything more substantive about how he has actively helped women on health issues?

    Clinton will pound his ass over this if he gets the nomination.

  89. 89.

    RaflW

    Hmm. Joan Walsh seems to think (via Twitter) the new Times story is a sort of a walk-back of the earlier pieces since it’s framed as “friends don’t want Biden to run.” Maybe that’s what it is, but it’s still pushing the Biden is considering it meme.

  90. 90.

    RaflW

    @Mandalay: That is remarkably pathetic. “I created a way to move charitable gift money other than the Susan Komen run/walk. I care about boobs women!” is not a very strong position.

  92. 92.

    pseudonymous in nc

    Half a billion dollars is not a lot of money on the federal budget, especially compared to things like the F-35 shitplane, and it took about five seconds for everyone to realise that apart from Jebby Jebby Jeb Jeb!

  93. 93.

    Kay

    I’m so glad he’s bad at this. Now all the rest of them can act “concerned” that he isn’t a better candidate and try to get a leg up and it’ll just be a big mass of resentment and bitterness and infighting :)

  95. 95.

    Morzer

    The Jebbil went down to Georgia. He was lookin’ for a poll to steal.
    He was in a bind ’cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal…..

  97. 97.

    Morzer

    @efgoldman:

    Know, O princess, that between the years when the oceans drank Miami and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Arians, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world…

    Hither came Kermit the Batrachian, green-skinned, goggle-eyed,…

  100. 100.

    Kay

    @efgoldman:

    Jeb planted that story in the NYTimes about how Trump was good for Jeb because Trump takes voters from Walker. Now Walker can strike back! Kasich is already in the red-roped Jeb Bush rich-people seating area of the GOP, so I don’t think he goes after a “friendly” but who knows? :)

  103. 103.

    Anne Laurie

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne):

    I was asking about that phrase: wondered spirits. I have not seen it before and am not sure what it means. I thought maybe it was words chosen for you by autocorrect.

    Dang! You’re right, I looked at that 17 times and didn’t notice FYWP had ‘fixted’ it for me. Thanks!

  104. 104.

    Morzer

    @Kay:

    It just goes to show that if you have enough one-dimensional characters you can achieve an eleven-dimensional story.

  105. 105.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Kay: Ed Kilgore says Jeb is planning to win Ohio by picking Kasich as his Veep. Kasich doesn’t strike me as the type who wants to be Number 2, and he seems a bit long in the tooth to want to use it as a stepping stone.

    (and HRC’s plan in Ohio is Cleveland and the surrounding area (Cuyahoga county?)

  108. 108.

    Morzer

    @efgoldman:

    Not to mention that inter-species humping thing. I mean… pigpoles? froglets?… the mind boggles.

    This is what happens when you allow gay marriage!

  110. 110.

    Anne Laurie

    @SiubhanDuinne: Sigh…

    I plead 5-6 hours (over the course of 8-9) working on that #VotersFirst post. Followed by not getting much sleep, because Dog #1 has aged out on his terror of thunderstorms, so Dog #3 felt compelled to take it over…

  112. 112.

    Kropadope

    @efgoldman: Sorry, they weren’t on Nick at Nite.

    ETA: Now I gotta go find someone who doesn’t know about Patty Duke, Bewitched, or Bryll Cream to feel like a grown man again.

  113. 113.

    Morzer

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I wonder how long it will take Rod Dreher to explain that this proves that liberals are the real racists in their desire to suppress white ethnic traditions.

  115. 115.

    danielx

    Buddy of mine and I were discussing a debate drinking game involving absinthe. It couldn’t possibly make the occasion any more surreal than it promises to be.

  116. 116.

    Kropadope

    @Morzer: Hair product, right? A little dab’ll do ya!!! I loved when they played the old commercials. Funny thing, I think I may have seen bryll cream at Rite Aid not too long ago.

  117. 117.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Kropadope:

    ETA: Now I gotta go find someone who doesn’t know about Patty Duke, Bewitched, or Bryll Cream to feel like a grown man again.

    Nice try.

  119. 119.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yeah. When they showed preview clips of the 15-16 season last spring, it was clear they were using dark makeup for the Otello character. I think the events of the last few months may have prodded them to reconsider, and I’m glad they did and glad they made the decision they did.

    (FWIW, this is not something as simple as a woman deciding to wear coral lipgloss instead of her usual pink. A [relatively last-minute] change of makeup on the Met stage, and especially for the HD broadcasts, has implications for lighting design, videography, costumes and wigs. This decision may have had financial implications. So extra good on ’em!)

  124. 124.

    Omnes Omnibus

    OT: Has anyone sighted caligula since his time out ended? If not, it’s probably for the best.

  125. 125.

    pseudonymous in nc

    On “women’s health issues” — one of the things that always staggers non-Americans is the idea that you have to pay a large bill (insured or not) to give birth in a hospital. Um, these are future taxpayers, the people who’ll be looking after you when you’re decrepit.

    A genuinely radical conservative approach would be to propose that the federal government pay for ante-natal care, delivery and post-natal care for US citizens. All of it. Doesn’t matter if it’s a Duggar or a Delgado. Make babies, and we’ll pay the medical costs of them to be brought into the world.

  126. 126.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @efgoldman:

    At this point, the Met has often cast singers of color in any number of traditionally “white” roles, and nobody bats an eye any more. No reason why the audience can’t suspend disbelief the other direction and accept a white singer as the Moor of Venice.

  127. 127.

    Kropadope

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    A genuinely radical conservative approach would be to propose that the federal government pay for ante-natal care, delivery and post-natal care for US citizens. All of it. Doesn’t matter if it’s a Duggar or a Delgado. Make babies, and we’ll pay the medical costs of them to be brought into the world.

    These supposed conservatives aren’t really. All that the Republican leadership wants to do is foster dependency by way of unhealth.

  128. 128.

    RaflW

    @efgoldman: I suppose an Unleash the McCracken! joke wouldn’t have been very funny in the 60s.

    Come to think of it, maybe not now either. Could be bed time…

  130. 130.

    RaflW

    @pseudonymous in nc: It staggers my Swedish cousins minds that we here have to pay big hospital bills for whatever medical reasons.
    One time I thought my cousin Desi was going to cry as we talked about our shit-ass ‘safety net’ in the US.

  134. 134.

    Amir Khalid

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Given how he used to pester you and pester you for attention, you’ve more reason to feel relief than the rest of us. I’ve always wondered though, what kind of person would pick a random blog commenter and stale MOR pop to obsess on?

  135. 135.

    CaseyL

    A bit of very local political news: Debora Juarez, the candidate I support and volunteer for, has won the primary for Seattle City Council’s District 5 seat. I am so happy, and looking forward to gettin’ it done in the general!

  136. 136.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Amir Khalid: Honestly, I prefer not contemplate it. OTOH, I am not a random blog commenter; I am an individual with both brilliance and charm.

    ETA: And a metric fuck ton of patience wrt that commenter.

  137. 137.

    sharl

    @Omnes Omnibus: He’s over in atrios’ recent comments (past hour or so), bemoaning the quiescence of the joint and whatnot.
    Dude’s been around for a long time – even longer at atrios’ place IIRC – and usually with this same shtick, but his behavior in that thread that got him banned…that was over-the-top even by his standards.

  142. 142.

    Citizen Alan

    Totally off topic but I need to vent. Robert Gray has won the Democratic primary for governor of Mississippi. Robert Gray is a long-haul truck driver who filed an application to run for governor apparently because he thought it would “kewl” to see his name on the state ballot. In his four financial filings, Robert Gray reported receiving $0 and spending $0. And somehow, he decisively beat Vicki Slater who had the full backing of the MS Democratic Party and significant financial resources. Mississippi Goddamn, Indeed.

  145. 145.

    John Revolta

    I dunno. Does this mean they can finally greenlight the Blazing Saddles remake, starring Adam Sandler as Sheriff Bart?

  156. 156.

    Little Boots

    and I’m only a little obsessed because I thought you were just a bit honorable.

  161. 161.

    Kropadope

    @Citizen Alan:

    Totally off topic but I need to vent. Robert Gray has won the Democratic primary for governor of Mississippi. Robert Gray is a long-haul truck driver who filed an application to run for governor apparently because he thought it would “kewl” to see his name on the state ballot. In his four financial filings, Robert Gray reported receiving $0 and spending $0. And somehow, he decisively beat Vicki Slater who had the full backing of the MS Democratic Party and significant financial resources. Mississippi Goddamn, Indeed.

    Didn’t I hear of a convicted felon as non-serious democratic nominee in a recent Senate election somewhere about? Sounds like a step up to me.

  163. 163.

    Little Boots

    and by the way, yeah, omnes, I like you. sorry about that. you seem like a great guy.

    sorry that’s embarrassing.

  167. 167.

    xenos

    @SiubhanDuinne: the category of “moor” does not have to be especially dark-skinned (although that was certainly what Shakespeare had in mind). For the drama to make sense it just has to signify the other, the foreigner, the possible enemy. It would not make sense to make him blond unless the drams was recast to a christian Dane living in a late-Saxon court.

  172. 172.

    Culture of Truth

    Robert Gray confirmed to a reporter that he did not vote for himself. Man oh man.

    They way I see it Clinton will beat any of these clowns easily, including Jeb, except for Kasich.

  173. 173.

    Little Boots

    goddammit, sometimes, man, but you have no obligation, but sometimes, goddammit.

  182. 182.

    xenos

    @Little Boots: stalking us stalking, though, and that is what it can sound line.

    There is no honor among blog-commenters. Here it is mostly a bunch of insomniacs looking for diversion. Except in my case where I am drinking my coffee and heading to work.

  191. 191.

    Steeplejack

    @Little Boots:

    Here’s what you did wrong, in case you don’t know (which I doubt):

    1. You shat all over a capital-S Serious Thread and kept it up even after several people explained and asked you to stop. It was tone-deaf and not cool.

    2. You called another commenter a cunt. For that you should look her up in the first available thread and apologize directly and sincerely. If you don’t see the need to do that, you and I are probably done.

    Look, I like you and have been a willing participant in the late-night “stale MOR pop” music hijinks (screw you, Amir!), but there are a few proprieties to be observed. Keep it to open threads, mainly, and don’t start the alley-cat yowling for Omnes until later in the evening. I don’t know if you were drunk-blogging or what last week, but you deserved the ban hammer.

    Here’s a bit of stale MOR pop for closure.

  194. 194.

    Jack Canuck

    @Morzer:

    Nice one. Robert E. Howard reference for the win. Now I totally want to read the adventures of Kermit the Batrachian.

  199. 199.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Steeplejack: Thank you. I feel some guilt for the way things played out because I didn’t try to shut him down immediately. OTOH, I didn’t drop the c-word.

  206. 206.

    Little Boots

    damn, steeplejack, wow, was that me? yeah, apparently.

    damn, the fuck was wrong with me?

  207. 207.

    Little Boots

    I love this place, I love these people, seriously, I was that dick? goddammit. I hate that.

  208. 208.

    Little Boots

    so pissed at myself. so angry. and I called somebody a cunt? christ? the fuck is wrong is with me?

  226. 226.

    Little Boots

    HHA, sorry I was such a complete dick. there was no excuse. sorry, honey for being such a dick.

  227. 227.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @xenos: I’m listening to something calling outside, maybe an owl but unlike any I’ve heard before. At first we thought it was a throaty remark from a cornered cat and were about to go rescue it, but realized it was probably an owl. It moved past our house and down the road, and then came back for an encore performance.

  234. 234.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @Little Boots: What does that even mean? As if you are the aggrieved party here. Yeesh.

    I like you, but damn are you being obtuse.

  235. 235.

    Steeplejack

    @Little Boots:

    Pro tip: “Direct” means you find a thread where she’s actually commenting and address her directly, not bury it in some generic middle-of-the-night thread. Sorry, that’s how it works.

    Nothing more to be said until things are taken care of.

  236. 236.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @Little Boots: No, he doesn’t get in moods, and you are not the injured party here. You did the injuring.

    I’m going to go work a crossword puzzle and fall asleep now. Good night.

  246. 246.

    Zinsky

    There is more innocent blood dripping off the hands of these filthy, war-mongering Bushes than any family in American history. “Most perfect man alive….”, my aching arsehole….

  247. 247.

    Emma

    @gene108: There’s a book called Ten Commandments for the Environment that collects all of Pope Benedict’s environmental statements. The Church might be crap in a lot of issues but the environment isn’t one of them.

  251. 251.

    Another Holocene Human

    @gene108: From the Catholic hypocrisy playbook, you just have naughty naughty gay sex. It’s less of a sin if you don’t cohabitate.

  253. 253.

    AnonPhenom

    Jeb! is a salesman who does not believe in the product he’s been tasked with selling.

    “Doesn’t sound as bad in context”

    Bullshit.
    In context:

    “You can take dollar for dollar — though I’m not sure we need half a billion dollars for women’s health issues — but if you took dollar for dollar, there are many extraordinarily fine organizations … to provide quality care for women on a wide variety of health issues,”

    What Jeb! is thinking while he says this (and why he became distracted enough to make the gaff) is:
    ‘I can’t believe I’m expected to use this phony ginned-up outrage as a lame ass justification to pour more money down my brother’s Faith Based Initiatives * fail-hole’

    *not that Obama’s “Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships” is much better.

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