Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Everybody saw this coming.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

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Reader Interactions

122Comments

  2. 2.

    Amir Khalid

    The deer weren’t unsuspecting, they were watching the alligator. They didn’t panic because he wasn’t coming at them, and they could see there’d be no problem outrunning him if he was.

  3. 3.

    trollhattan

    I would shit a brick right there, and not be the least embarrassed. That’s one honkin’ big gator! (and the li’l fawn must have been a tempting gator snack, but why run when you can let your food come to you?)

  9. 9.

    gbbalto

    If you like what Avenatti is doing, pls send $ to Stormy’s crowdfund page. Just sent $200, think it is a most worthwhile investment. Who coulda thunk?

  10. 10.

    MattF

    @Amir Khalid: The intertubes say that alligators can run up to 20 to 30 mph. And can swim significantly faster. I’d endeavor to go in the opposite direction, immediately.

  11. 11.

    Yarrow

    @danielx: Trying to imagine how the Secret Service deal with a gator that size crossing the course when the Orange Traitor is playing. Shoot it? Rush him off the course? Nothing?

  12. 12.

    Roger Moore

    @germy:
    This is totally unfair. When you give money to Cohen, you get to send Trump a personal message about exactly what you’re bribing him to do. That’s very different from dumping a ton of cash at a Trump property, which is just a general suck-up measure.

  13. 13.

    DCrefugee

    I have an alligator living in the pond behind my house. I *think* it’s a female, but I haven’t looked closely, if you know what I mean.

    Anyway, I call it TM, or Tango Mike, as he/she is two meters long…

  15. 15.

    Mary G

    You won’t believe how this Florida cop treats a black mother! (In a good way.)

    And this is how good police officers are supposed to interact with the people they are sworn to serve and protect. pic.twitter.com/HRoy8IyqtA— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) May 11, 2018

    Like children and pets, I believe cops will respond better to praise than to censure, so I make sure to praise them when they do their job like normal people.

  20. 20.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mary G: There’s three issues here. The first is that you don’t hear or see a whole lot of the majority of cops who get through their days doing the right thing. The second is the way the law enforcement unions and the politicians have wired things, it is almost impossible to get rid of the bad cops that we are rightly hearing and seeing more and more about. The third issue is that the second combines with law enforcement culture to make it difficult for the good cops to actually be proactive to get rid of the bad ones. Including the ones they know are problems just waiting to happen.

  22. 22.

    gbbalto

    @MattF: Water bugs, I was told in Texas. They only fly if they think that they are cornered, then they fly at you. Impressive!

  24. 24.

    efgoldman

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Reason # elebenty to steer clear of Florida.

    [I might have posted this before; apologies if so]
    Last week kids (daughter, SIL, granddaughter) went to Disney.
    Plane wasn’t on the ground thirty seconds in Orlando, when granddaughter (almost five, and a very experienced flyer) looked out he window and saaid, to Mommy “Florida is strange!”

  27. 27.

    trollhattan

    @rikyrah:
    The way his skin kind of wobbles reminds me of a Japanese guy in a Godzilla costume. “Godzilla” was a documentary!

  28. 28.

    Mnemosyne

    @Mary G:

    I was also pleased that the cops in Oakland who were called about someone using a charcoal grill in a public park showed up, determined that no crime had been committed, and left again.

  29. 29.

    catclub

    I would think this might be the best evidence for a lack of collusion between Trump and the Russians (before the election):

    Weekly Primer: Russian Oligarch-Tied Firm Paid Cohen For Trump Access

    If Trump is already owned by the Russians, why do they need to pay for access via Michael Cohen. Never mind that it IS evidence of present collusion
    (after the election).

  30. 30.

    Yutsano

    @efgoldman: Florida is flat. Like amazingly flat. When I was in Miami for the Orange Bowl parade, we were asking directions for a local grocery store from a local.

    “Yeah, you just go over that hill over there and take a right.”

    We started looking around for this hill.

    “Uhh, which way is it?”

    “It’s right over there you idiots!”

    There was a rise of MAYBE ten feet in the road down the direction he pointed. We just went “okay” and wandered off.

  32. 32.

    germy

    Just to be clear: not one source for our story on Schneiderman has any ties to Trump or Michael Cohen. Our sources all are deeply opposed to Trump and deeply disappointed that Schneiderman let them and their Cause down.
    — Jane Mayer (@JaneMayerNYer) May 11, 2018

  35. 35.

    danielx

    @Patricia Kayden:

    I hesitate to say exactly lest I be visited by humorless men in dark suits wearing earpieces. But he probably weighs 300 lbs, meaning IT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE the fat fuck currently squatting in the Oval Office since we have it on best authority that he weighs 239.

  38. 38.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Yutsano:

    Florida is flat. Like amazingly flat.

    Truth. My mother’s family lived in/near Arkansas City, KS, and for all of Kansas’ reputation as tabletop-flat, that part of Kansas has actual hills and stuff. Not anywhere near as flat as Florida. And since my wife’s family lives in central FL, I’ve spent a lot of time in Florida over the past 30 years.

  41. 41.

    feebog

    @TenguPhule:

    Rub chickens all over him….?

    The gator or Trump?

    Why do I now have the image of a porn star rubbing Chicken Mcnuggets all over Trump?

  42. 42.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: What kind of loaner shootin arn did your granddaughter pick from the courtesy 2nd Amendment booth at arrivals. Remember, in the Gunshine State everyone must be armed and ready to stand their ground at all times!

  45. 45.

    catclub

    @Gin & Tonic: but they do not swim that fast. I was referring to human swimming speed. Matt had written that gators can run 30mph and swim even faster. 15 km/h is still very fast.

  46. 46.

    JCJ

    @Gin & Tonic:

    A few years ago I made the drive from Oslo to Bergen and back. I did not know beforehand that Norway was so scenic. The entire trip in both directions was stunning. On the way back I drove along fjords and took ferries twice. Are you doing a “Norway in a Nutshell” tour?

  48. 48.

    Faithful Lurker

    Years ago Mr. Lurker and I were driving from Michigan to Florida to visit my parents in Jacksonville. We stopped on the way to visit the Okefenokee swamp park in southern Georgia. It was in the middle of a bad drought and the water was extremely low, so many of the gators had crawled onto the land to sleep in the sun. Many, very large gators, some as big as the one in the video. There was also a tour bus filled with Japanese tourists. The Japanese were happily posing by the gators, resting their hands on the backs of these very large, very dangerous animals while their pictures were taken by friends. The Georgia boys standing around thought this was hilarious.

  49. 49.

    SFAW

    @JCJ:

    On the way back I drove along fjords and took ferries twice.

    And now you’re pining for the fjords?

  50. 50.

    Gin & Tonic

    @JCJ: Will be taking a one-day tour on Sunday. This is otherwise independent travel.

    By the way, it’s 9:30 pm and the sun’s out.

  51. 51.

    Adam L Silverman

    @catclub: Also, the bigger question is what have the other tough guy wannabe hangers on get? Lewandowski and his two different attempts at a lobbying shop. Parscale? Bossie? Etc.

  52. 52.

    SFAW

    @schrodingers_cat:

    OK then I will cross off South Carolina off of my list too.

    If you hadn’t already, then you haven’t been paying attention.

    “South Carolina: Too small to be a country, too large to be an asylum”

  53. 53.

    efgoldman

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Remember, in the Gunshine State everyone must be armed and ready to stand their ground at all times!

    First time we visited my (retired) parents in Pembroke Pines, things that struck me were: The six-eight lane boulevards going every which way, all parallel; the housing developments where they went from clearing the scrub to paved roads and an open model home in less than a week; and the huge gun and knife show billboards along the road out of FLL.

  54. 54.

    SFAW

    @Yutsano:

    That came from watching too many Hugh Grant movies.

    ETA: “The Floridian Who Went Up A Speed Bump and Came Down A Hill”

  55. 55.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: South Florida, specifically southeastern Florida – Broward County – urban planning makes a lot more sense if you’ve ever spent time in Long Island.

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @efgoldman:

    granddaughter (almost five, and a very experienced flyer) looked out he window and saaid, to Mommy “Florida is strange!”

    Won’t be long until she’s in a crowded public setting, looks around at all the people, and loudly proclaims “fuckem!”

  59. 59.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @catclub

    : If Trump is already owned by the Russians, why do they need to pay for access via Michael Cohen.

    Russia is a nation, not a monolith, simply a different group of Russians who want in on the action since Trump priced so affordably.

  61. 61.

    efgoldman

    @Adam L Silverman:

    southeastern Florida – Broward County – urban planning makes a lot more sense if you’ve ever spent time in Long Island

    I got the clear impression that zoning laws were against the state constitution.

  64. 64.

    efgoldman

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I have only been to Hotlanta in the south.

    Since my dad died in 2004, and my mom moved back to Boston a year later (she died in 2011) I’ve never been back and plan to keep it that way.

  65. 65.

    piratedan

    @catclub: how about this as a possibility… the GOP was already working with the Russians to rig their elections to allow them to keep their majorities and make HRC’s presidency an ongoing battle (note the amount of dark money showed up in GOP coffers overall, how the FB campaign ads were marked to the GOP candidates and their causes) and Trump’s nomination and campaign incompetency led to the shenanigans being uncovered?

  66. 66.

    Mike in NC

    Turned on the TV and caught Huckabee Sanders lying to WH Press Corpse about something or other. Wearing a black and white striped outfit suitable for a roadside chain gang in the Deep South. Incredibly inarticulate, too.

  68. 68.

    Yutsano

    @schrodingers_cat: When I was in Georgia for my friend’s wedding, we accidentally took a tour of North Georgia. Wow the woods up that way are really stunning. And it’s also how we ended up in Dahlonega.

  70. 70.

    catclub

    AT&T Chief Says Hiring Michael Cohen Was a ‘Big Mistake’

    what they mean is that now they were caught doing it, they regret doing it. No doubt the AT&T legal/lobbying team in DC knew about this a year ago, but only now chose to fire someone over it.

  71. 71.

    Mnemosyne

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I once had to call See’s Candies and ask them to send a new box of candy to my mother-in-law because the UPS driver left it on her doorstep and a raccoon stole it and ate it. When she got home, all she found was the ripped-open box with a few sad paper frills inside.

    They sent the new box for free because, really, how often is someone going to make up a story like that?

  72. 72.

    efgoldman

    @raven:

    Oh darn.

    Well, I was referring to Florida.
    I changed planes in Atlanta once.
    However, I’m not real keen on spending money in any of the traitor states.

    Fuckem

  75. 75.

    JCJ

    @SFAW:

    And now you’re pining for the fjords?

    Hmmm. Still breathing, still have a pulse, so apparently not!

  76. 76.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Yutsano: I can honestly say, as well as prove, that I have not been in New Jersey, except in transit via Newark airport, since 2015.

  77. 77.

    germy

    @efgoldman:

    However, I’m not real keen on spending money in any of the traitor states.

    I remember watching a recent documentary on the playwright Lorraine Hansberry (Raisin In The Sun) and they showed some of her diary, where she said she relaxed by drinking Canadian Club. It was left unsaid, but I believe I understand why she preferred buying that brand rather than Tennessee or Kentucky whisky.

  80. 80.

    Mary G

    I hope one of youse front-pagers writes about this dick Peter J. Gleason, a lawyer who just wrote a letter to Judge Kimba Woods in the Michael Cohen case about the two women who came to him seeking help with abuse they claimed to have suffered at ex-AG Schneiderman’s hands. He told them there was no use pursuing a case, because no one would believe them, but reached out to some slimewad who put him in touch with Michael Cohen, who he discussed their cases with! Then Twitler tweeted that Schneiderman might fall just like Spitzer and Weiner. LAO, tell me the New York bar isn’t all scum.

  86. 86.

    Leto

    @Gin & Tonic: When I was still living in the UK, I was able to watch the London Marathon each year on the TV. I think it was three years ago that the men’s elite started out, as the race commentator put it, “rather slow” at a 5:30 mile per minute pace. This included the eventual winner who at the start, was tripped, sort of run over, was behind the main group by about 2 mins, but reeled them all in to win it. Honestly that was a pretty amazing race. But the initial pace was “slow”.

  91. 91.

    Ruckus

    @Yutsano:
    I was told one time that the highest hills in FL are overpasses. I believe it. What really amazes me is that the land doesn’t develop chop in a stiff breeze or that digging a hole for a small plant doesn’t always strike water.

  92. 92.

    germy

    And what we just learned about Trump's intel on Schneiderman is deeply disturbing.
    Trump had serious blackmail material on the NY Atty General, who was responsible for overseeing major investigations into Trump's empire. And Trump made sure the AG knew it.
    https://t.co/KzMXgpCkKh— Susan Simpson (@TheViewFromLL2) May 11, 2018

  97. 97.

    germy

    Weiner is gone, Spitzer is gone – next will be lightweight A.G. Eric Schneiderman. Is he a crook? Wait and see, worse than Spitzer or Weiner
    — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 11, 2013

  98. 98.

    Kay

    This year, for the first time, demand for the low-skilled, seasonal H-2B visas was so high that the U.S. government awarded them by lottery. The result is uncertainty for businesses such as crab processors in this remote corner of Maryland’s Eastern Shore that have relied on the program for years.

    Bryan Hall, the 57-year-old co-owner of G.W. Hall, founded by his grandfather in 1951, said he was fortunate to get the 30 visas he requested. Most of his Mexican crew has been on the job since the third week of April, and the rest are on their way.
    But Mr. Hall criticized the lottery system. “It’s not right for me to have the girls and not him,” he said, referring to Russell Hall owner Harry Phillips. Mr. Hall said he voted for Mr. Trump in 2016 and wants the president to scrap the lottery and Congress to increase the statutory visa limit. “Trump can fix it with his pen,” Mr. Hall said.

    They must have missed the nonstop coverage of Trump’s 5000 rallies that were centered around hating Mexican immigrants.

    Boo-fucking-hoo. Put him with the soybean farmers. They’re bad at voting.

  99. 99.

    Teddys Person

    @Mary G: I bet this officer is thinking – What’s all the fuss? I was just doing my job. You know protecting and serving.

  101. 101.

    raven

    @Ruckus:

    Turtle Mound is a prehistoric archaeological site located 9 miles (14 km) south of New Smyrna Beach, Florida, on State Road A1A. On September 29, 1970, it was added to the U.S. National Register of Historic Places. It is the largest shell midden on the mainland United States, with an approximate height of 50 feet (15 m).[3] The mound extends for over 600 feet (180 m) along the Indian River shoreline and contains over 35,000 cubic yards (27,000 m3) of shells.[1] Turtle Mound was estimated to be 75 feet (23 m) high before it was reduced by shellrock mining in the 19th and 20th centuries.[4]

  102. 102.

    raven

    And coming to you from Boston

    President Donald Trump’s chief of staff John Kelly said in a National Public Radio (NPR) interview that aired Friday morning that people immigrating to the United States “don’t have skills.”

    The claim was one of many Kelly made about immigrants who move illegally to the U.S. He noted that the majority of people immigrating to the U.S. “are not bad people,” and that they aren’t criminals. But he also generalized and said those immigrants are “rural people” who wouldn’t assimilate to life in the U.S. and who don’t speak English.

  104. 104.

    Adam L Silverman

    @schrodingers_cat: Not since 2015 when I flew into Newark for an aikido seminar in Manhattan. Last time I was on either the turnpike or GSP was in 2014.

  105. 105.

    SFAW

    @raven:

    Shhh … don’t tell schrodingers_cat — she LOVES Kelly. I’d hate to have her bubble burst.

    Fucking racist, xenophobic asshole. The sooner that fuckhead is put out to pasture, in Somalia or maybe the Bekaa, the better off the world will be.

    ETA: And, to pre-short-circuit the smartass jackals here: I mean Kelly, not S_C, being put out to pasture.

  106. 106.

    Peale

    @raven: So we need to start giving preference to urban metrosexuals? Only hipsters with tattoos need to apply?

  110. 110.

    SFAW

    @satby:

    And they’ll perform journalism much more competently than the MSM jokers who do it now.

    That’s not exactly a high bar to get over.

  111. 111.

    schrodingers_cat

    @SFAW: Kelly was seen as the voice of reason by many when the Orange One’s reign was still new, but never by me.
    I know you are snarking, but I just want the record to be 100% clear.

  112. 112.

    sukabi

    @satby: they could continue on making shit up and still be more accurate and informative than the WH press corpse.

  113. 113.

    Another Scott

    @germy: I heard someone on the radio in Atlanta (might have been some baseball “color” guy) say once, in the early ’70s, “If you go the speed limit on I-75 you’ll be the last one home.”

    YouTube (8:57) – it looks like the video is sped up, but that’s actual speed!!11 Maybe.

    ;-)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  116. 116.

    dww44

    @schrodingers_cat: Someone else may have responded to this, but that gator isn’t in Florida, it’s in the South Carolina low country. Another giveaway is that video came from a Beaufort, SC TV station. Nevertheless he’s a big one. Wonder how old?

  117. 117.

    SFAW

    @schrodingers_cat:

    but never by me.

    Yes, I know. I have to confess that, very early on, I thought you were maybe going a little bit overboard (no, I’m not being ironic or whatever) in your Kelly hate. But, for a long time now, it has been clear that you were/are absolutely 100 percent correct in your assessment of that motherfucker.

  118. 118.

    dww44

    @lowtechcyclist: There are parts of North Central Florida (around Gainesville) that are very much of the lovely rolling hills sort of terrain. Taking I-75 from the neighboring state to the North and going straight down there is a lot of not-flat terrain. South Florida is very definitely flat.

  119. 119.

    SFAW

    @Another Scott:

    it looks like the video is sped up, but that’s actual speed!!11 Maybe.

    No, it’s not actual speed, unless the actual speed is north of a buck.

    ETA: And if a car’s four-way flashers are operating at about 4 or 5 hertz

  121. 121.

    Barbara

    @Mary G: He disclosed confidential client information outside of a protected attorney client relationship. I will definitely read whatever memo he files.

  122. 122.

    J R in WV

    @germy:

    It was left unsaid, but I believe I understand why she preferred buying that brand rather than Tennessee or Kentucky whisky.

    I am having a revelation !! Crown is also good. I must admit, though, when mu rockhound buddy and I stopped at Buffalo Trace distillery, it was afternoon of a holiday, maybe Memorial Day, and the last tour of the day was ending. But the black guy taking folks around was fine with spending a couple of hours with two guys in the aging warehouse telling us all about making whiskey.

    I’m not sure, is Kentucky really … stop! Yes it is! Now I don’t know what to do…

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