Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

“woke” is the new caravan.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

You cannot shame the shameless.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / How To Ruin A Turkey Sandwich/More Respite Open Thread

How To Ruin A Turkey Sandwich/More Respite Open Thread

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So, this image showed up in my messages:

 

I’m just hoping this isn’t a Betty Cracker creation already featured here that in my semester-starting-addled brain I somehow forgot.

Anyway: here’s a chance to talk about anything to do w. abuse of or abusive foodstuffs — or anything else that whets your appetite.

Reader Interactions

109Comments

  1. 1.

    trollhattan

    Brill!

    And I don’t care how many defenders its harvested recently, the only proper use of American cheese to date.

  12. 12.

    Elizabelle

    How To Ruin A Turkey Sandwich More Respite Open Thread

    WRT the title of this blogpost: I was thinking “oh no, what happened to Cole as he was fixing a turkey sandwich? What has he done now?” I was imagining blood.

  15. 15.

    Elizabelle

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: I love that. The Korean-American Friendship bell, in San Pedro. You got a better photograph than I ever have.

    Love that whole area along the coast, and the Palos Verde peninsula.

  16. 16.

    SFAW

    Don’t know if this has already been picked up here, but:

    TPM is reporting that Wilbur “Vying for the ‘Evilest Motherfucker in the Maladminstration’ Title” Ross apparently threatened to fire a bunch of NOAA staff if they did not issue a statement retracting/contradicting their earlier contradiction of Dear Leader’s Sharpie adventure. Some might interpret that as him demanding that they commit a Federal crime — or else!

  17. 17.

    SFAW

    @Elizabelle:

    I was thinking “oh no, what happened to Cole as he was fixing a turkey sandwich? What has he done now?”

    Here’s a hint: we’ll have to call him “Lefty” from now on.

  18. 18.

    prostratedragon

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Thanks so much, though I think I’ll need to enjoy the whole page of your lovely photos to get that sandwich out of my head.

    I will admit it’s (the sandwich) impressive in a way, but whoever did it probably should move on to other things for a while.

  29. 29.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Well it would appear that our Hotel in Carlisle might have had bedbugs because I am covered in tiny bites. On my hands, arms and legs. Didn’t notice them while at the hotel but the bites have now got fever blisters so I am noticing them. Damn!

  30. 30.

    Mike in NC

    @SFAW: I got a Facebook link that showed a picture of Fat Bastard redrawing the Russian border westward with a Sharpie to include the Crimea and about half of Ukraine. (That’ll be next week.)

  35. 35.

    trollhattan

    Chrissy Teigen is apparently twitterfighting with Trump and has coined #PresidentP***yAssBitch, which if it catches on is another thing to thank Chrissy Teigen for.

    He just can’t help himself.

  38. 38.

    Mart

    About an hour ago Cheetolini was giving another helicopter presser where he said the incompetent Obama handed him the gift of 138 federal judges and a SC judge. He bragged he already has two SC judges and will have over 200 federal judges this term. The blood, it boils.

  51. 51.

    germy

    olive oil is going to get expensive.

    I'm a soapmaker. He's about to radicalize thousands of cottage crafters who make a living off the soap we make in our kitchens and garage workshops. No soap without oil, and olive oil is our backbone.— Belinda McBride ? (@Belinda_McBride) September 9, 2019

  53. 53.

    germy

    The Trump admin has proposed a tariff of up to 100% on $25 billion in European items. Romano, Parmesan, provolone and Gouda are all on the list. But it's not just cheese — other items to be affected include wines, meats, olive oil, olives & pasta.https://t.co/G9WOIKWX5G— Julia Davis (@JuliaDavisNews) September 8, 2019

  54. 54.

    Yarrow

    @Litlebritdifrnt: If it is bedbugs you may have a lot of work ahead of you. They can come home with you in suitcases and other bags. Did you do anything else that would have given you bites? Leave the windows open? Midges still around?

  56. 56.

    JPL

    @germy: I might go shopping this weekend for cheeses and pasta. I’ve had good luck freezing cheese.
    Do you know if he is going after the Marzano tomatoes?

  58. 58.

    zhena gogolia

    @germy:

    OMG, this is exactly what Putin did to Russia at one point. You couldn’t get any decent cheese for love or money.

  59. 59.

    TenguPhule

    @germy:

    The Trump admin has proposed a tariff of up to 100% on $25 billion in European items. Romano, Parmesan, provolone and Gouda are all on the list. But it’s not just cheese — other items to be affected include wines, meats, olive oil, olives & pasta

    Trump is determined to make the rest of us live on the same diet he does.

  60. 60.

    TenguPhule

    @germy:

    I’m a soapmaker. He’s about to radicalize thousands of cottage crafters who make a living off the soap we make in our kitchens and garage workshops. No soap without oil, and olive oil is our backbone

    They’ll have to switch to good old American pork fat.

  61. 61.

    germy

    @JPL: Marzano tomatoes? The NYT is reporting Italy’s economy will take a hit, so maybe everything will get more expensive.

  62. 62.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Yarrow: I initially thought that the bites were from ants as I brushed past a plant with them on (they are farming the aphids and I hate to get rid of the plant) as I went outside to hang out my washing when we got home. However, it would appear that I have way too many bites to be the work of a single ant (or maybe two) in so many diverse places that it doesn’t make sense.

  67. 67.

    Martin

    @germy: Most imported olive oils are fake anyway.

    That said, that 72lb wheel of parmesan from Costco might be a better investment than gold right now.

  68. 68.

    Elizabelle

    @germy: Cool. Soap Crafters Against Tariffing Trump. Can be SCAT Trump. Satby can help organize them.

    Bring it on. I suspect the soap crafters are a lot brighter than the still Trump-humping farmers (not every farmer, I realize, but too many).

  69. 69.

    trollhattan

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    Okay, think I’m safe. :-)

    We have a very different climate and I have no idea what you’ve encountered. We don’t lack for things that bite, to be sure. Got a boatload on my feet a couple months ago and they took weeks to heal (two of which the itch persisted). I’m going with fleas, as I usually wander around in flip-flops, but there’s no way to tell.

  72. 72.

    catclub

    @Elizabelle:

    I suspect the soap crafters are a lot brighter than the still Trump-humping farmers.

    Depends if intelligence is rated by how effectively they get on the government dole.

  74. 74.

    Anonymous At Work

    @Elizabelle: I was under the impression that it was impossible to ruin a turkey sandwich…because you can’t go downhill from “turkey sandwich”.

  77. 77.

    JPL

    Tom If you want a more impressive picture of trump, look at RedDirtGirl’s comment @31 The link didn’t work so I posted a naked link at 45

  78. 78.

    Yarrow

    @Martin: I’ve read that California has the strictest quality control on olive oil. If it’s California olive oil you’re actually getting olive oil.

  79. 79.

    TenguPhule

    Cake or Death
    @Johngcole
    Replying to @Johngcole
    Nurse: “You did a really good job with this bandage.”

    Me: “I’ve had some practice.”

    /snort, choke, muffled guffaw

  80. 80.

    Raven

    I’m sending a special thanks to Immanentize for some wonderful fishing tackle and a “Kiss My Ass” card for my retirement!

  82. 82.

    TenguPhule

    @Anonymous At Work:

    I was under the impression that it was impossible to ruin a turkey sandwich…because you can’t go downhill from “turkey sandwich”.

    Bologna sandwich on white with mayo.

  83. 83.

    Mnemosyne

    @trollhattan:

    Here in the Southland, they’ve been warning us about a new invasive species of mosquitoes that carries West Nile and dengue fever. They call them “ankle-biters” because they usually attack the lower limbs, and they’re unusual because they bite during the day.

  84. 84.

    Martin

    @Yarrow: Correct. But has others have noted, the price of CA olive oil will go up similarly because of demand, and it takes a while to plant new olive trees…

  86. 86.

    SFAW

    @JPL:

    We’ll be lucky if NOAA survives the assault.

    Well, those staffers would have survived — if they hadn’t been in Huntsville when it got flooded by Dorian. They couldn’t escape when that wall of water hit, and they drownded.

  88. 88.

    trollhattan

    @Mnemosyne:
    We’re basically the West Nile nexus here and one of our gazillion mosquito breeds carries it. Don’t know about dengue, probably don’t want to either!

    West Nile is tricky to track because a good many infected remain asymptomatic, some get flu-like symptoms and then some are hospitalized and die. They monitor mosquito traps for it, also collect and analyze dead birds (corvids and raptors are vectors).

    I wish we put a massive tariff on imported communicable diseases.

  91. 91.

    Roger Moore

    @germy:

    olive oil is going to get expensive.

    I try to buy American- there are several olive farms that sell oil at my local farmer’s market- but it’s not as if domestic production can fill the gap quickly. Olive trees take 5-8 years to produce a commercial crop, so this will just raise prices without doing much to spur domestic production. Instead, it will encourage us to purchase from Morocco, Tunisia, and other olive-producing countries outside Europe.

  95. 95.

    J R in WV

    Perhaps a law suit against Fat Don to recoup expenses due to illegal “National Security” tariffs against our oldest allies. Doesn’t make any sense. Why Italy? What a chunk of pig fat for brains!

  97. 97.

    JPL

    @Yutsano: I’ve purchased Spanish Olive Oil before and it was quite good but expensive. Maybe if he is targeting just Italy, I’ll go back to that.

  98. 98.

    JPL

    @Martin: Before Whole Foods purchased the local farmer’s market, they had different bottles of olive oil out to taste. I can’t remember the name, about fifteen/twenty years ago I purchased one from Italy. It was in a rectangular bottle and was priced over twenty dollars. When I checked out, the person at the register asked for my ID. It did look more like whiskey but the store only had a beer and wine license
    Whole Foods sells a line under the 365 brand that is processed in European Countries, including Italy.

  99. 99.

    laura

    @trollhattan: And if she wants to print up and sell foul mouthed wife tee shirts – to raise money for Bahamian disaster relief, id buy at least one!
    President ham head doesn’t look any less skeezy in processed Turkey slice than he does in ham.

  100. 100.

    Roger Moore

    @Yarrow:
    The California Department of Food and Agriculture seems to be very well run. They have strict standards, and they seem to understand that the farmers do better in the long run when they enforce those standards rather than allowing a race to the bottom. An example of this is the California Certified Farmers Market program. Not all farmers markets are part of CCFM, but the ones that are require the farmers to grow everything they sell on their own farms; they can’t buy from a neighbor’s farm and sell it at their booth. Once in a while, one of the farmers I buy from will disappear from the market for a while, and it always turns out that this was because they got caught selling somebody else’s produce and were forced to stop selling for 6 months. Knowing those rules are strictly enforced gives me some confidence that they’re enforcing the rest of the rules, too.

  102. 102.

    laura

    @Raven: Serious congratulations for your 1/2 century of toil following service! The very thought of retirement is so enviable and just begs for speculation. Decades of work makes it easy to think about work, but how not to work . . . That’s got to be so wierd at first, and then settling in to a whole new routine. How satisfying.
    Have you captured the emotional support yellow fin tuna yet, or is the trip still pending?

  103. 103.

    trollhattan

    @Roger Moore:
    Lots of olive acreage in the north Sacramento Valley and some of it is processed for oil, most is still fruit.

    But it’s been interesting to learn that a lot of olive trees are just there as landscaping and not used for anything, but now quite a few folks are harvesting and pressing oil because there are mobile olive presses that can come on site and handle it. In particular, a lot of wineries have olive trees and now sell their own oil in the tasting room.

    The differences among them (flavor, color, fragrance) is astonishing. I truly had no idea.

  104. 104.

    Roger Moore

    @trollhattan:
    My alma mater had a lot of olive trees that were just used for landscaping. Then the school hired a Frenchman as president, and he decided there needed to be an olive harvest festival on campus to take advantage of the bounty. It was fun, but a day of work by a whole gang of students and alumni produced a relatively paltry amount of oil for the effort involved, and while it was technically classified as extra virgin it still wasn’t anything special. After doing this a couple of times, everyone decided it wasn’t worth the effort, and they went back to spraying the trees to keep them from fruiting, since unharvested olives are a PITA.

    Basically, olive trees used for landscaping are nice, but there’s a reason farmers plant their trees in carefully laid out orchards. The effort involved in going around and harvesting a bunch of scattered trees makes trying to get a crop from landscape and back yard trees economically uncompetitive. It still makes sense for somebody who owns a tree to try to harvest it as a hobby, but it’s only able to compete with big farmers by pretending that the land, water, and labor are free.

  105. 105.

    Ohio Mom

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Are there chiggers in your part of the world? They are here in Ohio but just five hours north in Michigan, my sister has never heard of them (the winters are too long and cold for them). We certainly didn’t have them growing up in the Bronx.

    Yuck on the bedbugs. A good friend of mine had them a couple of years ago —she is a social worker and thinks they got into her house via her purse, stored in her office on the floor, not far from where her clients sit. She never said anything more specific than that but I’m guessing she knows which client that was — no doubt the one who came in one week with a story about bedbugs.

    It is a hassle and expense to get rid of them but it is doable.

    Can I assume from this story that your husband made it over to you? Whew, sigh of relief, Hooray and Congrats!

  106. 106.

    JAFD

    Also Portugese olive oils (Live near Newark’s ‘Ironbound’ – capital of Lusophone North America) Check
    seabrafoods.com or
    seabrasmarket.com
    for week’s deals

    (Pronounced ‘see-ah-bruhs’)
    (For those few jackals who haven’t heard it…
    “Why did The Little Mermaid wear sea shells ?
    Because ‘B’ shells were too small for her’ and ‘D’ shells were too big.”)

  107. 107.

    Amir Khalid

    @JAFD:
    It’s only Ariel, Disney’s Little Mermaid, who wears a seashell bra at all. The Hans Christian Andersen character is traditionally depicted topless, as in the statue of her in Copenhagen harbour.

  108. 108.

    Ruckus

    @Anonymous At Work:
    Have no personal knowledge but have been told that the American cheese on dry white bread lunch sandwich at the LA County Jail is just a tad worse than any turkey sandwich. He said it smelled like feet and didn’t taste as good. And he had tasted them on more than one occasion.

  109. 109.

    Ruckus

    @laura:
    I’m just a touch older than his royal majesty – recently retired raven, and can say pretty truthfully I doubt I’ll have any trouble figuring out how to spend my retired days, if ever get to actually retire. I started working, paying taxes 57 yrs ago, I’m past ready.

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