Things got ugly at RFK Jr.’s fart dinner: https://t.co/RaNuqGVHBk
— Defector (@DefectorMedia) July 13, 2023
Yes, this is coooo-arse, as my Granma used to say (sometimes about earlier Kennedys)… but it’s the weekend, and it’s also entertaining. Ray Ratto, at Defector: “Things Got Ugly At RFK Jr.’s Fart Dinner”:
In this scenario you are anti-vaxxer and political ham sandwich Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and we apologize in advance for what that implies. But in this scenario you believe that for all your evident faults and shortcomings you can still redeem yourself by considering a life of public service. One problem with this is that the kind of public that wants to spend time around you is the kind of public that makes regular folks root for more bear maulings.
Kennedy, who is trying to be the next Democratic candidate for President on a platform of being a total plank, attended a dinner for various medioid flotsam and jetsam in New York, which is already a cry for help with appetizers. What promised to be a night of unrestricted tedium through bloviation turned, well, it turned New York quasi-elite hillbilly is what it did.
According to Page Six, the New York Post‘s daily coloring book of madness, two local past-the-sell-by-date sludge deposits, Doug Dechert and Anthony Haden-Guest, turned the evening into the kind of recurring nightmare that may convince Kennedy that he’d have a better chance of winning the nomination by seeking the endorsement of the spotted lanternflies.
Put another way, Page Sixer Mara Siegler was justified in her use of the heretofore underemployed phrase, “polemic farting.”
Dechert is described here as “a gossip-columnist-turned-flak,” while Haden-Guest is “an octogenarian art critic.” Both phrases are euphemisms for “barely relevant barnacles on the hull of human existence,” but Siegler is allowed her literary choices. Either way, an otherwise unremarkable dinner descended at the mere mention of climate change into a localized runaway greenhouse effect:
Dechert, the host of the event, became enraged and screamed at the top of his lungs: “The climate hoax!”
Haden-Guest, who appeared to have been sleeping happily for most of the dinner, was roused by the abrupt rumpus.
Haden-Guest suddenly opened his eyes and denounced his longtime pal, Dechert, calling him a “miserable blob.”
“Shut up!” implored Haden-Guest.
Dechert continued to scream wildly about the climate change “scam” while Haden-Guest peppered him with verbal volleys from across the table, calling him variously “fucking insane” and “insignificant.”
Here, it seems, Dechert sensed the need for a new rhetorical tack, and let rip a loud, prolonged fart while yelling, as if to underscore his point, “I’m farting!”
All the while, Kennedy was described as sitting silently, watching this festival of brain lesions and wondering again if being a rural zookeeper wasn’t a much more productive use of his time. It is important to note here that this is exactly what Kennedy has coming to him for being (a) him, and (b) choosing his dinner companions based on who can shout loudest at pigeons after dark. It will be difficult to imagine his candidacy from this point forward without this incident. A more fitting end to his cavalcade of grift does not exist, especially with the pungent exclamation point…
Gotta admit, I feel like I get full value from my basic (non-commenting) Defector subscription.
Reminder:
There ya have it. pic.twitter.com/QOXEuLd62g
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) June 29, 2023
War for Ukraine Day 506: (Some of) You Have Questions, I (May Have) Answers
NotMax
In this case the answer isn’t blowin’ in the wind.
;)
MattF
If only someone had a match.
Dangerman
For the love of all that is decent, NEVER pull that man’s finger.
BruceFromOhio
why would anyone do this, ever, is a mystery
HumboldtBlue
How to be properly screwed at home.
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
To quote Chief Clancy Wiggum, “where’s your messiah now (Mike)?”
ha ha ha
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
Just when you thought it couldn’t get sadder, Kennedy’s campaign manager is… [checks notes] … a person who swears he’s communicated with a UFO, Dennis Kucinich.
prostratedragon
“Last Tango in Bayreuth,” Peter Schickele; members of the UM Bassoon Studio
Amir Khalid
I wouldn’t rate RFK Jr as high as a ham sandwich. Ham sandwiches are eatable, and thus useful. No one wants to eat RFK Jr.
The GOP primary is not yet at the point where the delusionals and the no-hopers start getting weeded out. Neither is the Democratic party primary. I have always found this the most entertaining part of the Presidential election cycle, when the delusionals flaunt their delusions (I have fond memories of Carly Fiorina’s demon-sheep ads) and the no-hopers display their lack of presidential lustre. I have hope that RFK Jr’s fart dinner will be remembered as a classic for its Marx-Brothers-grade brilliance.
mrmoshpotato
@Amir Khalid:
Balloon Juice After Dark – now with more thoughts of cannibalism!
You’re misusing the word “fond.” :)
divF
The author of the column, Ray Ratto, is from around here and has been a fixture in Bay Area sports journalism for decades. He’s been doing the articulate acerbic curmudgeon thing since forever and is pretty good at it.
Michael Bersin
Yesterday morning we did this thing.
“Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds” *
Baud
@Amir Khalid:
I am insulted.
Shalimar
@David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch: In fairness to Kucinich, maybe he thinks his wife is an alien since he spends so much time looking up at her?
OzarkHillbilly
@NotMax: Au contraire, it most certainly is, you just have to ask the right question.
RFK Jr’s is, “Did I fuck up coming here?”
OzarkHillbilly
@Baud: I always thought you proudly, and publicly, embraced your delusions.
eta: It’s what I’ve always admired about you.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
RFK jr sure is popular with the Twitter Blue Checks. You know the type “I am a life long liberal and if the Democrats don’t nominate RFK jr, I will have to vote for Trump a third time”
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Like necromancy, cannibalism is Green thinking whose time has come.
Baud
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
Twitter Blue Checks: $8
Undermining Democracy: Priceless
Enhanced Voting Techniques
I suspect that will prolonged this time around because of the hope that if Trump is convicted of a felony will upend things.
🐾BillinGlendaleCA
My full spectrum modified camera is supposed to be delivered today. Of course, only if it arrives before I head to The Home for my shift or my neighbor’s dobbie Bat doesn’t scare the UPS driver away.
Baud
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
It will upend things. It will make him a lock for the nomination.
Baud
@🐾BillinGlendaleCA:
Nice.
piratedan
I gotta believe that Dark Brandon must be scaring the absolute shit outta both the GOP and the media powers that be due the amount of attention that is being bestowed upon the RFK Jr candidacy. The guy has received more than his fair share of attention and allows them the distraction of NOT talking about Biden economic policy, Biden foreign policy and the current shitshow that are the SCOTUS decisions, the Trump legal debacles and litany of cruelty that are GOP controlled state legislatures.
satby
Good morning campers! Can’t stay on, market day, but did everyone see John’s post last night? Especially his #2 thing?
And for all you great people (and you too Baud) the kitty hit by the car is doing well and going to a foster home today. Now named Loren after the vet who stayed open to treat her, she sailed through surgery on her fractured pelvis, finally started eating and drinking on her own yesterday, and is expected to be discharged to be fostered at the home of the volunteer who saw her get hit by the car and crawled through bushes to find her to bring to the vet. The vet has been very good to us and the bill is practically a gift, so we’ll have some money to start paying our spay bills, getting our reimbursements rolling again. Thanks to you all.
WereBear
@Amir Khalid: Pure essence of Blackadder’s Silly Party members, but serious.
That’s meta-comedy right there.
WereBear
@divF: He is quite the wordsmith! I’m impressed.
Sportscasters get to tell the truth all the time. I’m always struck by the journalist contrast in that.
Princess
RFK Jr should be running for the GOP primary, not the Dem one. His platform is much closer to theirs, they won’t care that he goaded his troubled but lovely-sounding wife to her death, and he could milk that whole QAnon Kennedy fixation to victory. He has a better chance of defeating Trump than the rest of their abject supine sorry field. Joking/not joking.
WereBear
@satby: Oh YAY!
satby
@WereBear: 😻👍
Chris T.
@WereBear:
Sports news readers generally know their subject. Telling them (the readers) dumb lies, like so many reporters in other areas do through ignorance combined with sloppiness, gets them (the writers) fired. So sports reporters learn to be correct, not merely glib.
If only this same discipline were applied more evenly…
scribbler
@satby: It’s so wonderful to hear this great news!
Ceci n est pas mon nym
I heard something about a “fart dinner” yesterday and only just read this today. I’m disappointed. I had the impression there was some sort of competitive farting thing going on, but there was only one, albeit it sounds like quite the show-stopper.
Lapassionara
@prostratedragon: thank you! Love some PDQ Bach in the morning.
OzarkHillbilly
Amir Khalid
@WereBear:
Oh good, you’re here.
Aoife has learned to open doors by herself, and twice today she managed to partially undo her leash harness. Should I worry?
Barry
@Chris T.:
“Sports news readers generally know their subject. Telling them (the readers) dumb lies, like so many reporters in other areas do through ignorance combined with sloppiness, gets them (the writers) fired. So sports reporters learn to be correct, not merely glib.”
IMHO, the most ignorant and corrupt journalists are political reporters. This solidified in 2012, when they relentlessly hyped every little up and down in the polls. The corruption was clear when President Obama was a elected, and these guys all did their best to support the ‘n*gger, n*gger!’ movement. It was also clear when they did their best to support a whole bunch of brand new ‘not Republicans!!!’ in the Tea Party who pretended that Somebody Else was in charge during the Dubya administration.
Realworldrj
In this crowded central Ohio bar, the polemic farting is clouding the robust discussion about the 14th amendment, the woke military, cultural marxism, and the overwhelming support of RFK Jr
satby
@Amir Khalid: yes! I had two that opened doors, though not the ones leading outside. Get a way to latch the outside doors so she can’t get out. Can’t help you with the harness, I never used one on cats, mine are inside only.
oatler
“Polemic farting.” The Muse is on fire this AM!
brantl
@HumboldtBlue: The way he makes a metric “tap” leaves a lot to be desired…
Rusty
As crazy as the the participants were at that RFK dinner, he upped the insanity himself. This morning it’s reported he said COVID was ethnically targeted to spare the Jews. He’s an anti-semite too. What an embarrassment, and not a Democrat.
StringOnAStick
@Rusty: Really? My Jewish, fully vaccinated husband caught Covid, just like I did. I keep asking him when his control of the banking system is finally going to work out for us.
Bill Arnold
@Rusty:
Ugh. Thanks for mentioning that.
There is full video of RFK Jr pontificating about ethnically [targeted bioweapons] at this (NY Post) link.
RFK Jr. says COVID was ‘ethnically targeted’ to spare Jews (Jon Levine, July 15, 2023)
Shana
Interesting factoid: Anthony Haden-Guest is the older brother of Christopher Guest (who dropped his Haden for professional work) but is not the Lord that Christopher is because his parents weren’t married when he was born. Gotta assume that messed will him over the years.
Tony G
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: I frequently listen (masochism?) to the daily radio show of Gary Null (one of the original anti-vaxxers, and a staunch ally of RFK Junior). Null often praises people like Tucker Carlson, Ron DeSantis and congressional Republicans who are “investigating” Anthony Fauci. However, Null, like RFK Junior, fancies himself to be a “progressive”.
Bill Arnold
@StringOnAStick:
In my county, there is town controlled politically by (voting) Hasidic Jews (I forget which sect). In the early pandemic, their town dominated the county (and perhaps (New York) state) COVID-19 new case statistics. They took zero precautions; no masks, no change in gatherings indoors; this appeared to be driven by religious leadership. Vaccine resistance later on. A younger population (large families) so death rate might well have been lower; don’t know.
This attitude manifested in Israel as well, though most of Israel was quite disciplined and science-driven.
NotMax
@Bill Arnold
Pretty good documentary about the whole Monroe/Joel thing.
BruceFromOhio
Defector is a gem, and Ratto a treasure. It warms this cracked, blackened heart to see both quoted in these pages.
different-church-lady
The quality of the Oooga Booga is in steep decline compared to the last cycle.
Ruckus
@Dangerman:
OK, now I laughed out loud at that…..
But it does seem to be a valid idea of what to never do….
different-church-lady
@different-church-lady: shit… well doing a little homework leads to the discovery I might have stepped in a pile of racist phrase. Totally not my intention and apologies if it sounded that way.
Ruckus
@BruceFromOhio:
Think about describing the worst of the worst and what name comes to mind?
caphilldcne
@satby: thank you for pointing out the 2nd item in John’s post from last night. I hope others will see it too.
Ruckus
@Amir Khalid:
Marx-Brothers-grade brilliance
No one could have planned that, not the level of timing, not the result, not the overbearing reminder that a fart cloud is the best description of his entire effort at politics.
Ruckus
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
Ouch. Nail hit – squarely on the head, one hit, done.
kindness
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
Soylet Green?
Ruckus
@Tony G:
They are trying to progress their crappy political concepts into the limelight and the ballot box. They think that makes them progressives.
Whatever his deal is RFK Jr is not the same as his previous generation, not in any way, shape or form.
Captain C
The Page Six article was pretty funny too, and included this gem:
Madeleine
@prostratedragon: Probably dead thread, but—I taught one of those fine bassoonists in a grad class! So good to see him.
Edit: thanks for the link!
Tony G
@Ruckus: Agreed.
prostratedragon
@Madeleine: How nice! They did good.