Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

If you’re looking for someone who’s young and athletic, go watch a fucking movie.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

“They not like us!” (that’s for sure!)

I also would like a pony to improve my balloon juice experience.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Monday Evening Open Thread: Remember The Submarine Chatter at Mar-A-Lago?

Monday Evening Open Thread: Remember The Submarine Chatter at Mar-A-Lago?

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Monday Evening Open Thread: Remember The Submarine Chatter at Mar-A-Lago?

(Clay Jones via GoComics.com)

The inimitable Alexandra Petri, at the Washington Post, on Lord Marred-A-Largo and the Ginger TinTin — “How long can YOU be near Trump without learning secret information?”:

The more that comes out about Donald Trump’s post-presidency conduct, the clearer it becomes that the real challenge was not prying confidential information out of Trump but avoiding receiving confidential information.

I think I see the problem. Donald Trump has two modes of conversation. He is either ranting about all the things he intends to do when he becomes dictator of the country — so many rights to strip away! so much vengeance to extract against his enemies! so many guardrails to dismantle! — or he is volunteering classified information. Those are really it. If you don’t want one, you have to buckle in for the other.

Which brings us to the news from special counsel Jack Smith’s investigation that Donald Trump apparently shared sensitive information about U.S. nuclear submarines with an Australian billionaire. You might be wondering: Is this a private party, or can anyone play? Yes! All you have to do is pay money to be around Donald Trump by, say, attending a fundraiser or joining Mar-a-Lago, the most valuable golf club on the planet, valued at approximately $6 billion more than the sun, and you, too, can take the Trump Top Secret Challenge! See how long you can go without having Donald Trump just hand you some classified information…

Anyone can try! If you win, they give you a T-shirt (printed all over with state secrets), but nobody has won it yet. Somebody came close, once, because she was at Mar-a-Lago during a weekend when Trump was absent, but she made the mistake of visiting the wrong bathroom and — boom! Nothing but boxes of classified documents. Now she knows all our sources and methods. She wasn’t even interested in the sources and methods, but she hadn’t brought her phone into the bathroom with her, and she needed something to read.

Presumably the Australian billionaire who reportedly learned about our nuclear submarines was also trying to do the Trump Top Secret Challenge. He thought he had a shot. Here he is, a foreign national, a cardboard magnate, with no obvious interest in naval warfare. (Usually, you can tell if a man has interest in naval warfare. That is one of the first things you know about him, usually.) Going into the challenge, his fear was that, knowing his passion for cardboard, Donald Trump was going to rush him to the bathroom and start showing off his collection of boxes, asking for his opinion on their absorption power and shape stability, and he might accidentally glimpse a secret that way. He had girded his loins against that possibility. What he was not prepared for was the fact that Donald Trump, any time there is a lull in conversation, will just tell you how close our nuclear submarines can get to a Russian submarine without detection…

It is one thing to walk into a meeting in the Oval Office and, say, be Russian. Everyone knows that Donald Trump loves to impress Russia. The odds were heavily against them. But researchers working on a book about somebody else mistakenly thought they had a shot. They weren’t even at Mar-a-Lago. That seemed promising. But no! Moments into the conversation at his golf club in Bedminster, N.J., and the former president is waving classified documents at them. “Secret,” said Donald Trump. “This is secret information. Look, look at this!” Those are actual quotes.

This game is hard! But if you are willing to pay for proximity to the ex-president, you can play as many times as you like! Eventually, you’re bound to lose!

Reader Interactions

77Comments

  4. 4.

    Ruckus

    @Baud:

    For this SFB/TFG level of punishment there has to be more to it than that.

    I mean that was pretty damn bad but still, to be trumped?

    That hurt everyone, including those that wanted Hillary.

    This level of punishment is unparalleled!

  5. 5.

    Doc Sardonic

    Damn shame Obama didn’t rock the full Gangsta ensemble going to Marine 1. The freak out would have been one for the ages.

  6. 6.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I don’t know about Ginger TinTin, but as a Veep watcher he looks like the missing link between Mick McClintock and Sherman Tantz, with Roger Furlong in there somewhere

  7. 7.

    Shalimar

    @Baud: Collective punishment takes a lot longer than that.  We’re still being punished for what our nation did to indigenous Americans in the 1820s.  It’s gonna be constant natural disasters by the time we get into the 1870s.

  8. 8.

    SomeRandomFellow

    So: France was going to sell Australia diesel subs, but, now, America has to sell them nuclear subs, because Australia isn’t forbidden to spill stuff some moronic incompetent tells an Aussie businessman, but *would* be forbidden to sell nuclear secrets the US is providing to Australia’s submarine fleet….

  10. 10.

    twbrandt

    You can interpret “cardboard magnate” a couple of different ways. Is it someone in the cardboard industry, or is it like a paper tiger – a fake magnate? Given Trump, probably the latter.

  12. 12.

    Citizen Alan

    @zhena gogolia: I wouldn’t know. I would not read the comment section about anything pertaining to Michelle Obama for any sum of money. I learned my lesson on that nearly a decade ago.

  13. 13.

    Elizabelle

    So grateful that Old Joe Biden is president during these years of peril.

    And fuck the fucking NY Times.  I’ve gotten to the point of:  their US political coverage blows. Why should I believe anything they have to report about Israel-Hamas?  How do I know if it is accurate??

  15. 15.

    Another Scott

    Meanwhile, … Reuters.com (from May 24, 2017):

    MANILA (Reuters) – U.S. President Donald Trump told his Philippine counterpart that Washington has sent two nuclear submarines to waters off the Korean peninsula, the New York Times said, comments likely to raise questions about his handling of sensitive information.

    Trump has said “a major, major conflict” with North Korea is possible because of its nuclear and missile programs and that all options are on the table but that he wants to resolve the crisis diplomatically.

    North Korea has vowed to develop a missile mounted with a nuclear warhead that can strike the mainland United States, saying the program is necessary to counter U.S. aggression.

    Trump told Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte Washington had “a lot of firepower over there”, according to the New York Times, which quoted a transcript of an April 29 call between the two.

    “We have two submarines — the best in the world. We have two nuclear submarines, not that we want to use them at all,” the newspaper quoted Trump as telling Duterte, based on the transcript.

    The report was based on a Philippine transcript of the call that was circulated on Tuesday under a “confidential” cover sheet by the Americas division of the Philippine Department of Foreign Affairs.

    […]

    TIFG erased history and the press’ memory. Every day is a new day with him!!

    :-/

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  18. 18.

    Another Scott

    @Nukular Biskits: Yup.

    There’s probably a bunch of stuff that Jack Smith has that won’t be in the trial because they don’t want the information to get out (any more than it already has)…

    Grr…,
    Scott.

  24. 24.

    TS

    @SomeRandomFellow:

    So: France was going to sell Australia diesel subs

    I wrote about this a couple of days ago, Our ex-PM, trump great friend, who was given the second (and last?) state dinner by trump, cancelled the contract with France (cost the new government close to $1billion in compensation) & very few knew about the Pratt event. Wouldn’t be surprised if someone from the administration followed up on trump’s chat with Pratt & got Australia sorted out.

    I’ll be long gone before we sight a sub, let alone get anyone from our Navy trained in using same.

  25. 25.

    Nukular Biskits

    @TS:

    My senior US Senator, Roger Wicker (R-Of course) has really been pimping US nuke subs for the Aussies for the past couple of years.

    Now I’m beginning to wonder if he had some inside track on Trump’s casual treatment of classified info.

  26. 26.

    Tony Jay

    I’m not lookist, but.. ha! Kidding. Totally lookist where gobshite Trumpafluffer billiousnaires who look like albino Orang-Utans with wicked alopecia are concerned.

    People like Ozpratt make being incredibly rich look miserable.

  27. 27.

    Mousebumples

    Attn postcard writers! Postcards to Voters now has Virginia addresses for Phyllis Randall and Koran Saines. Email jo[email protected] to get started, if you’re not already a Postcards to Voters writer.

    Also – reminder that the next postcards & music thread is Saturday night! I’ll be out of town at a brewery tasting, but hope you all have fun!

  31. 31.

    Tony Jay

    @dmsilev:

    Nice to see that Attorney Really Frigging Kooky Eye-Eye has chosen to follow the Maverick McCain ‘crash into the deck of the ones that brought ya’ model of Presidential candidacy.

    If he picks Patchouli Dreamweaver as his Vice-Presidential co-kamikaze my popcorn future will be secured.

  33. 33.

    mrmoshpotato

    That could help prosecutors establish that Trump Dump has a long habit of recklessly handling classified information being a pile of shit who’s a national security threat.

    Hey CREW, fixed!  No fee!

  34. 34.

    mrmoshpotato

    See how long you can go without having Donald Trump just hand you some classified information…

    Anyone can try! If you win, they give you a T-shirt (printed all over with state secrets), but nobody has won it yet.

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    She’s still a national treasure!

  36. 36.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Baud:

    This is our collective punishment for what the country did to Hillary. 

    So many stupid, selfish children to slap.

  37. 37.

    HumboldtBlue

    I’ll say this, the news has wiped Bob Menéndez from the front pages, and his wife killed a man.

  39. 39.

    SpaceUnit

    We need to hold a contest to determine the ugliest rich person.  TFG and that Aussie dude would definitely make it to the second round.  Rupert will have something to say, obviously.

  40. 40.

    Jeffro

    @HumboldtBlue: you beat me to it!

    ”But I never believed the major-party-sabotaging rogue candidate could take votes away from MY major-party-candidate!!!” said the member of the Rogues-Sabotaging-Major-Party-Candidates Party

  41. 41.

    Jeffro

    @Tony Jay: LOL @ “Patchouli Dreamweaver” and stealing that too

    Won’t SOMEONE think of the impact on the Peter Daou piggy bank Cornel West candidacy?  The guy has a lot to offer America and RFK Jr’s clearly not taking that into consideration here.

  43. 43.

    SuzieC

    @SpaceUnit: TFG, hands down.  Those blubbery anus lips, that orangutan stance, that grossly obese body, the drag queen makeup, the fake hair covering a shiny bald head.  All of it, repulsive.

  47. 47.

    Baud

    And the award for the most egregious use of world calamities goes to

    X / Twitter CEO Linda Yaccarino has just canceled her appearance at the Wall Street Journal’s Tech Live conference next week, saying “with the global crisis unfolding, Linda and her team must remain fully focused on X platform safety

  48. 48.

    Dan B

    @Baud: Does Yaccarino have to stay at X to promote the biggest bestus disinformation so we can keel all the Arab Iranians!?

  49. 49.

    Mike in NC

    Fat Bastard and his criminal family proved day after day that there’s something deeply wrong with the way we handle sensitive classified government information. Most of us didn’t mind doing the extensive paperwork and being periodically interviewed and having investigators spend hours talking to our neighbors, family, and friends. I had a TS/SCI clearance for 30 years and if I did anything not by the book, I’d have been busted, demoted, and probably locked up. It’s a fucking disgrace that an unstable imbecile like Donald Trump got away with ripping up and casually flushing that stuff down the toilet or stashing it under his bed to show off to anybody buying dinner at Mar-A-Lardo.

  51. 51.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Mike in NC: Again, so many stupid, selfish children to slap.

    And that doesn’t even bring up his repulsive attitudes towards people who aren’t rich, white, cis men.

  55. 55.

    Chris

    Tonight’s adventures in AI:

    Amazon Prime’s copy of Goldeneye subtitles the Russian dialogue.

    I don’t mean that they translate it into English.

    I don’t mean that they write out the actual Russian words in Cyrillic.

    I mean they just write it out phonetically, in the Latin alphabet.

    My friend in the movie business explains: AI transcriber which was wasn’t told to detect other languages (or at least not that one).

    Interesting tool, AI.

  57. 57.

    Jeffro

    @Mike in NC: it’s almost like “being able to pass a basic background check” ought to be added to the list of requirements to run for/serve as president (or VP, or member of Congress for that matter)

    totally serious here

  58. 58.

    dmsilev

    @Baud: I assume that’s X-CEO-ese for “stand behind Elon Musk with an electric cattle prod and shock him every time it looks like he’s going re-X another anti-Semite.”

    (spoiler: the cattle prod ran its battery down after the first fifteen minutes)

  60. 60.

    Chris

    @Elizabelle:

    And fuck the fucking NY Times.  I’ve gotten to the point of:  their US political coverage blows. Why should I believe anything they have to report about Israel-Hamas?  How do I know if it is accurate??

    I grew up in the 2000s, so I don’t think I’ll ever trust their foreign coverage, especially where matters of war and “national security” are concerned.

  61. 61.

    Matt McIrvin

    @catclub: I always thought Cornel West was more of a threat than RFK Jr., but West’s falling-out with the Green Party largely nullifies that, I think.

  67. 67.

    Geminid

    @Nukular Biskits: I read that the Mississippi Huntinton Ingalls shipyard is also building a big icebreaker for the Coast Guard, and that the project is very challenging because the hull requires extra-thick, extra-hard steel.

  69. 69.

    wjca

    @SuzieC: TFG, hands down.

    Sorry, not eligible.  The contest was for the ugliest rich guy.  And, as we are discovering, TIFG’s supposed riches are a house of cards backed by smoke and mirrors.

  70. 70.

    Miss Bianca

    @Matt McIrvin: Wait, West had a falling out with the Greens? How did I miss this? (Not entirely snarking)

    ETA: How in the blue-blazing FUCK do these “independents” think that they will a) get elected as POTUS in the first place, and b) think they have the slightest chance of enacting any of their vaunted agenda if they *did* get elected?? JFC!

  74. 74.

    boatboy_srq

    I would question, given the mounting evidence, what it was that took everyone so long to find enough proofs to indict Lord Dampnut, but then I remember there were (other) Republicans involved. Because clearly this was happening fairly transparently for some extended period, probably beginning sometime in January 2017 when he started getting Classified Briefings Of His Very Own (complete with bulleted slide decks, Sharpies and crayon).

  77. 77.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Miss Bianca: They don’t think they’ll get elected. They have a romantic attraction to hopeless causes, and most of their voters do too. The Greens’ pitch back in the glory days of Nader was always that their goal was to score high enough to qualify for public campaign funding on the next cycle.

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