This has a sort of "chef will stop pissing in the soup and might hire a new chef who won't piss in the soup but anyway hopes people will now drink the soup he's already widdled in" quality to it, doesn't it? https://t.co/sncSUVbWkq
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) December 21, 2022
Next CEO of Twitter
— Scott Lemieux (@LemieuxLGM) December 21, 2022
Dan Scavino
Marina Butina
Mike Sacks
Whoever cut Jamal Kashoggi apart with a bone saw
The head of that Hutu radio station in Rwanda https://t.co/X5sJwOOb17
— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) December 21, 2022
It's tempting to say "Matt Taibbi," but you don't go from "court stenographer" to "CEO," it will be someone with marginally more remaining dignity
— Scott Lemieux (@LemieuxLGM) December 21, 2022
It’s gonna be Jared
— Shawninigan Handshaker (@puddysmanfur) December 21, 2022
(Character) assassination coordinates:
“Police say a member of Elon Musk’s security team is currently a suspect in their investigation, not a victim.” https://t.co/Xt97fuSGdz
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) December 20, 2022
Many people are saying that paying someone to surveil an ex-lover frequently gets non-billionaires arrested for stalking, even when they claim they’re only trying to protect their kids:
… A 29-year-old man from Connecticut told the South Pasadena police on Tuesday that a driver in another vehicle had confronted him in a parking lot, accused him of following him on the 110 freeway, and then struck the man with his vehicle as he was leaving the parking lot.
Last Thursday, “South Pasadena Police learned the suspect involved in this case is believed to be a member of Elon Musk’s security team,” the department said in a statement.
A South Pasadena city spokesperson said the department is contacting Elon Musk’s team seeking to investigate both sides of the incident and get statements from everyone involved. Detectives are reviewing video footage of the incident, the police department said…
The Washington Post reported on Sunday that it had identified the alleged stalker, who confirmed to the Post that he was the person in the video, and that he had reported what happened to the South Pasadena police.
The man said he was a delivery driver for UberEats, the Washington Post reported, and “made several bizarre and unsupported claims, including that he believed [Grimes] was sending him coded messages through her Instagram posts; that Musk was monitoring his real-time location; and that Musk could control Uber Eats to block him from receiving a delivery order”.
Grimes, whose real name is Claire Boucher, lives in a house near the gas station where the altercation occurred, the Post reported. The Guardian was not immediately able to reach the man named in the Washington Post story for comment…
Musk tweeted that his child was in a car that was followed by a “stalker”. Authorities said Musk was not present, and it was not yet clear if members of his family had been.
Musk cited the interaction between his child and a “stalker” as a justification for a number of sweeping policy changes at Twitter last week, including removing an account that shared public information about his private jet, barring accounts from sharing real-time location information, and suspending the accounts of several prominent US journalists who had reported on his actions. Musk later reversed the bans on some of the journalists after multiple public Twitter polls of users said they should be reinstated…
This drug addled nitwit put out an entire story about some kid publishing his "assassination coordinates" to justify banning a bunch of journos and it turns out the entire thing was a figment of his imagination.
— Ragnarok Lobster (@eclecticbrotha) December 21, 2022
Ok, but in absolute fairness, it does appear that the guy from CT is also a nutball who may be stalking Grimes.
— Sean Phillips (Sardonic Existentialism) (@Jacksons_Dad) December 21, 2022
Jack Shafer, Politico’s ‘senior media writer’ and preeminent Media Village trendspotter, “Time to Close Down the Elon Musk Circus”:
… Four years ago in this space, I proposed that the press tame their obsession with every Trump utterance by running a daily column on the inside pages headlined “Shit Trump Said” to record his various PR blitzes succinctly and report them out in length only if he actually does something, rather than just talk about it. Since Trump left the White House, the establishment press has largely demoted his Truth Social postings and rally provocations to a status even lower than “Shit Trump Said” because he currently has almost no power to turn his words into action.
Confining Musk’s incitements to a similar “Shit Musk Said” (maybe adjoining the comics) would accomplish several ends. First, it would put him on notice that reporters will no longer bestow automatic, wall-to-wall coverage on him, and they’ll no longer cover him just because he damns and harasses the press. It would deny the barrel-roller the audience he craves. It would deter him from saying something one day and reversing it the next just to win coverage. And it would free reporters from the short choke chain they have allowed Musk to put on them, freeing them to do more meaningful work.
Among the press corps’ greatest duties is to tell audiences things they don’t know. At this point, without spending another column-inch on him, we can all agree that Musk is a rich publicity hound who goads reporters almost daily with his flimflam stunts, promises and predictions. His antics deserve some coverage, but maybe for the interim, it should be with a massive soundproof blanket to muffle his daily, inconsequential braying.
SAD!
it’s ok because unlike hyundai or ford tesla is backstopped by a razor thin product portfolio and has a monopoly on premium price point electric vehicles that catch on fire and brand you as a weird bigot to all the normals in your office
— kilgore trout, death to putiner (@KT_So_It_Goes) December 20, 2022
Manyakitty
Those ‘Next Twitter CEO’ ones had me in tears 😂
Alison Rose
Stephen Miller
Mike Lindell
Herschel Walker’s campaign manager
Ginni Thomas
the possibilities are endless
danielx
The mind, it boggles.
dm
@danielx: I stopped saying that after a pedantic friend pointed out that “it boggles the mind” —> “the mind, it is boggled”.
(The pedantry seems to have become contagious.)
Elizabelle
Devin Nunes’ Cow
eclare
@Elizabelle: We have a winner!
Ken
Herschel Walker … Kari Lake … Doctor Oz … a rock …
INVESTORS: “Wait, stop, that last one. At least we can be sure it will never, ever say anything that will tank the stock.”
Starfish
My Space Tom offered to do it. They should just go with that.
JCJ
@Elizabelle: Excellent suggestion
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I believe I heard today that the aid we have given Ukraine runs to about $40B? which is less than Emo paid for twitter.
If my memory serves, Europe has given about $30B, which is perhaps how much he overpaid for twitter.
sdhays
Apparently Tesla is cutting 10% if its workforce in the coming weeks, after reports that customers are ending their leases early and canceling their orders. So that’s the real reason he’s stepping back. He has fucked the company which drives most of his wealth and needs to turn it around or risk being removed.
“I remain a master strategist.”, says Elmu.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@dm: I prefer “It boggles one with disbelief” (name that movie)
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Elizabelle:
“And for my first act as Twitter CEO, I’m going to ban that traitorous cowpoke, Devin Nunes!”
mrmoshpotato
@Elizabelle: BWHAHAHAHAHA!
karen marie
The story from the Guardian is so poorly written, it isn’t clear that the guy attacked by Musk’s security is in fact the stalker, only that the stalker claimed it was him. Fucking words, how do they work?
dmsilev
I’ve walked past that gas station many times. My brush with fame, I guess.
Honus
@dm: as a somewhat semantic pedant myself, I would point out that if the mind is boggled it may be presumed that something caused it to be so, likely something previously referenced in the missive.
dmsilev
The best thing about the alleged search for a new Twitter CEO is that Musk has said that he’ll remain in control of the software team. So, the scapegoat will be expected to do all the dirty and boring parts of the job, like dealing with FTC consent decrees and groveling in front of advertising execs to beg them to not run away, and all the while Musk will be screaming “CODE HARDER, MONKEYS!” and palling around with his neo-Nazi friends on his Twitter feed. And when (not if) things turn sour, Musk will aim his legions of flying monkeys at the scapegoat.
Who _wouldn’t_ jump at such a wonderful opportunity?
BR
For those of you who haven’t tried Mastodon, you’re missing out. There’s something fascinating and fun happening there. If you were scared off by the “picking a server” issue, here are a few that work well and are just fine:
https://mastodon.social/
https://techhub.social/
Basically you sign up at either of those and then you can read / follow anyone on basically any server. If you want lists of folks to start following, check these out:
https://mastodon.online/@mastodonmigration
Jim, Foolish Literalist
The Semantic Pedantics would be a band formed by English lit grad students. They would play I’m gonna say three times at the campus coffee house that’s trying to build up a wine bar business, Fridays from 6-8. They write songs about like, Byron, and they don’t have a drummer.
dmsilev
@sdhays: Tesla’s stock price chart over the last few months resembles a waterslide or one of the steeper parts of a roller coaster. Which of course brought it from “hilariously ridiculously overvalued” all the way down to “incredibly overvalued”. There’s a lot more drop to be had.
HumboldtBlue
I was this many days old when I learned there is a small community in the hills above Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Cazale, who are the descendants of the Polish Legions that fought alongside Napoleon during his gallivanting about Europe in the late 18th and early 19th centuries, a community that still exists and is from whence we get The Black Madonna.
Poles had signed up to fight with Napoleon with the goal to restore the territories that had been partitioned by Prussia, Russia, and Austria, but when they realized ol’ Nap was in it for himself, they got frisky and mutinous and were shipped off to Haiti to take part in putting down the slave rebellion.
Long story short, they and the French loyalists got their asses kicked and a cohort of anywhere between 500 to a thousand Poles switched sides and supported the slave rebellion which resulted in Haiti’s liberation.
Those Pologne and descendants were accorded full citizenship under the Haitian constitution as Noir, despite the fact they were a bunch of European white boys, and their legacy lives to this day.
Any day you stumble onto some story like that is a good day.
Bill Arnold
Might be related :-) :
JAFD
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Do they play the famous song* about the semantics of talking with a beauty-contest-winning lady ?
*ie, “Do you know what it means
to Miss New Orleans ?”
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Someone on another forum compared Musk to a late-stage Howard Hughes. Seeing The Aviator, it seems apt.
It’s funny, until a few years ago, I didn’t think Musk was a bad guy. Like a lot of others, not knowing much about him, I thought he was a visionary businessman who wanted to save humanity. Turns out, he’s always been in it for himself and he’s an idiotic ego-centric asshole. Go figure
Calouste
@sdhays: Well, would you buy a car from a company that’s run by an obvious nutcase, who runs one of his other companies in a completely “I’m out of my head” way? I’d not feel safe in it.
dmsilev
@Bill Arnold:
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time.
hervevillechaizelounge
I know I don’t really comment here often enough to make requests but from now on could we call this fucker Apartheid Clyde, just like y’all jackals used to call Bernie Wilmer?
For those short on recall, the moniker “Apartheid Clyde” was coined by rapper Azealia Banks. Upon being invited to chez Musk by his then girlfriend Grimes, possibly for a three-way, possibly to discuss music (accounts vary), Ms. Banks found herself abandoned in the Musk mansion after she declined their sexual advances.
It was like Home Alone, but with more mean tweets.
piratedan
@BR: I’m over there as [email protected]
been trying to follow other jackals as they’ve made themselves known in case there is any need to boost their signals.
to be honest, I’ve not been running up against too many trolls or nazis and the blocking of certain voices is easy and the staff, have been trying to keep up with the migration as well as can be expected. Yes, I can understand the lament of folks that had built something awesome over at the birdsite, but just typing in names and handles into the search option lets you follow people easily.
I suspect it will continue to grow as people get comfortable.
dmsilev
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): For me anyway, the turning point was the “kids trapped in the cave in Thailand” episode, especially the “pedo guy” part of it.
hervevillechaizelounge
I laugh every time the Guardian asks me for a donation.
Remember during the 2016 election when you hired Bernie Sanders shill David Sirota to castigate Hillary every goddamn day?
I remember. motherfuckers. And you’ll never get a nickel from me.
MobiusKlein
Fan of the once daily Musk Post idea.
Sister Golden Bear
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Ask and ye shall receive.: Four Stanford <spits> professors formed a rock band and perform songs inspired by Moby Dick, Helen of Troy, and the epic of Gilgamesh. It’s actually quite interesting music.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@dmsilev:
That was when my opinion of him lowered too
NotMax
@Jim, Foolish Literalist
Belting out a rousing round of Onomatopoeia?
Sister Golden Bear
@hervevillechaizelounge:
Not to mention their long history of transphobic news stories and opinion pieces. They’re never getting a penny from me.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@NotMax: Huh, Rundgren. I was expecting John Prine.
@Sister Golden Bear: I actually quite like this song about F Scott and Zelda.
Amir Khalid
Seeing how Elon runs Twitter makes me suspect that Tesla’s success so far might well not be due to his tech vision or his leadership.
different-church-lady
There won’t be a next CEO: Twitter will have autonomous leadership!
Mike in NC
Elon Musk must be the most hated man on the planet. Maybe somebody will remind him of that.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Are any of you worried about a potential US debt default next year? It was the subject of a few front page posts pre-midterms, but afterwards it dropped off the radar. Maybe I haven’t been around as much and missed it, but since the GOP, even narrowly, captured the House, the risk of this has increased dramatically and I don’t see any talk of this; most people just focus on the BS Hunter Biden hearings they’ll hold
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@different-church-lady: the self-driving (into the ground) social media company?
CaseyL
Seconding and thirding @BR: @piratedan: recommendations of Mastodon.
I joined a Down Under server, a month or so ago when the “main” ones were being overwhelmed,and have so far elected to stay there. It’s absolutely delightful. Since the Down Under server is my “local,” when I look at the Local feed, it’s mostly posts by people in that part of the world. A wonderful way to get away from US-centricism!
And the Federated feed is even better, since you get everything from every server my server knows about: a wide and wild range of posts from all over the world.
I’ve only had to block three Mastodonians so far: two sites that post nudity (I don’t mind nudity, but would prefer to chose when I see it, not have it randomly pop up on my feed), and an asshole Politico reporter.
I mentioned the latter here in one of the earlier Zelenskyy threads, when he posted a farrago of obnoxious nonsense, calling Zelenskyy a “two bit” comedian and wondering if he was the real deal. I responded that it took some assholishness to say that about Zelenskyy after what he’s shown the world over the past 11 months. Well, the Politico asshole tore into me, said I should disappear back into New Zealand (!) and keep my mouth shut. Instant block! (And confirming my low opinion of Politico.)
Mastodon’s default theme format of blue-on-gray can be hard to read. I’ve changed the theme to dark text on white background, so it’s much easier (and looks more like Twitter.)
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@NotMax:
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Speaking of Rundgren I always really l like his song “The Want of A Nail”
prostratedragon
@HumboldtBlue:
Wow! I’d wondered about the Black Madonna. Going to have to check out the video.
prostratedragon
@dmsilev: Precisely. Not the kind of thing one easily recovers from with me.
Citizen Alan
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I think there will be a government shut-down next Fall, but I feel reasonably confident that there are 5+ GOP Congress-creatures that will join with the Dems to get the ceiling raised. If the margin were larger, I’d be more concerned.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@CaseyL:
What an asshole! I’d report him to his editors for unprofessional behavior
Dahlia
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I was expecting Sparks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsY1GZGxUB0
JaySinWA
I think he does, but what he wants to save it from and how he wants to do it should give everyone pause.
JaySinWA
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Forget it Jake, it’s Politico town.
NotMax
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Worth keeping an ear open for since the days of Nazz more than a half century ago.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Citizen Alan:
I hope you’re right
HumboldtBlue
@hervevillechaizelounge:
Apartheid Clyde it is.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@NotMax:
The 60s really were another planet lol. Great song and a really young Rundgren
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@JaySinWA:
Right, how could I forget? Politico is owned by some right-wing German media outfit these days
Kent
@sdhays: Setting Twitter on fire is just ordinary billionaire talent. Even Zuckerberg can do that with his META VR nonsense. But to simultaneously set on fire two completely separate companies takes rare billionaire talent.
Frankensteinbeck
@dmsilev:
Musk can’t code and has no idea how Twitter’s code works. People who left Tesla said that every time Musk insists on contributing it’s a mess, and people leaving Twitter said that he didn’t get it when they tried to explain how the program operates. It’s consistent with some of the utterly dumbass shit he says he’s going to do, as well. Also, any programming department directly, personally under his thumb without a fat padding of handlers, is going to consist solely of the people who can’t leave.
@Sister Golden Bear:
Do they sing about the part where Gilgamesh has the hots for Enkidu because Enkidu looks exactly like him? That and the instructions for washing your feet to get the blessing of the gods were my favorite parts.
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): l
Not even slightly. It would require unity that does not exist in the Republican House caucus. There might be a big drama about it first if whoever is Speaker, presumably McCarthy, tries to hold it hostage and is pantsed by Jeffries and Biden.
Tony Jay
@hervevillechaizelounge:
@Sister Golden Bear:
I have two well-appointed seats with nicely plumped cushions right next to me if anyone wants to sit down.
The Guardian is centre-right conventional wisdom sterilised and repackaged to cater to a centre-left readership. It exists to convince people who should know better that Both Sides have extremists and only safe, stale centrists can save the world… thus helping to split the anti-Tory vote and ensure Conservative rule.
2liberal
you are being you again!
WaterGirl
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): No. Maybe give it a rest?
Honus
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: my vision exactly. In fact, I was in that band back in ‘75. We played a lot of Velvet Underground covers.
lowtechcyclist
Yeah, but how many of them anymore want to do more meaningful reporting? With only a handful of exceptions, it seems like our MSM has evolved into a pack of gossip columnists.
@dmsilev:
At this point, I wouldn’t want to leave him in charge of the Twitter softball team.
gene108
@sdhays:
People thinking he was a tech innovator and forward thinking person about solving real problems drove a lot of Tesla’s success. There was a certain, “OMG! Look at that Tesla car! It’s stylish and sporty and electric! Only a genius could’ve thought of that! Game changer! Sign me up!”
I was in that group, but never did signup. Home charging won’t work for me.
Despite stumbles with the Tesla pickup truck, the failure of self-driving tech, etc., he still had a decent reputation of someone who would do big things.
With purchase of Twitter, everyone sees him as just another conman.
Best thing for all the companies he owns is to kick him out as CEO and bring in competent people. So much of the allure of Tesla, SpaceX, etc. is tied to his personal brand, which he set on fire.
J R in WV
I can’t go with calling twitter destroyer Musky any name with Clyde as part of it.
We had a dog who loved us so much he was a little awkward to walk with, as he got to be underfoot quite a bit, especially as a puppy. So we came to call him Step-Aside Clyde. He was just a tiny puppy walking down the forested hill outside our house one winter day. I assumed he had been talen for a very long wallk by his mother dog when she determined it was time to wean her small herd of puppies.
Clyde was a walking ball of black fur about a foot in diameter, and it was snowing outside as he walkied by all alone. So I got a bowl of dog kibble and went outside to try to attract his attention, which was ridiculously easy, he was desperate for company and puppy love.
He turned out to be the snartest dog we ever had, in his unique way. He herded squirrels, the other dogs, everyone who was mobile. When a squirrel was deceased, he sat with the dead squirrel until I got home, when he would show me the dead critter, and I would acknowledge the dead critter, whereupon Clyde would abandon it to walk into the house with me.
Once I heard him making odd squealing moaning sounds outside, and found a badly injured 8-point buck deer layuing in the dry creek bed, with Clyde beside him. He had been had at by a pack of coyotes, and had intestines outside his abdominal cavity. Clyde appeared to be keeping the deer warm by being so close to it…
I put the deer down and buried it using the tractor, so this had to happen after 2008 when I retired early.
Clyde was so well insulated he loved the cold of winter, and would burrow his face into a shallow snow, plowing into it with gusto. Then he would spend the night outside, and when we woke up after a good snow, he would be buried, with just his nose and eyes showing from the small drift caused by his repose on the back porch.
A truly great dog. RIP Clyde, you wonder-dog. He would be a better CEO of any of Musky’s companies than Musk is.
artem1s
@sdhays:
And the stupidity of American capitalism continues. Exactly how does cutting workforce – trained workforce – help a company when you can’t meet production quotas? The confidence of their customers is tanking because they are seeing what a toxic mess the CEO is. It’s not the workers fault. Maybe the board should hold a vote and tell the lead weight that’s been dragging down the company stock price over the past year to take a hike. Oh yes, I forgot, they probably think they can continue to bolster their stock price by using 1980’s practice of laying off a bunch of workers, lower their liability and make the numbers look better for another quarter. Surely now that Clyde is no longer CEO of Twitter everyone will magically forget what a complete fuckup he is and the artificially boosted stock price will magically go even higher. Jeebus, are they that thick that think their customers and stock holders want him back causing spontaneous combustions in their back yard?
pro-tip TSLA board, he’s never going to stop shit posting on Twitter. Time for a vote of no confidence. You either have a sound concept and the workforce to carry it out or you don’t. Tell the upwardly failing white nationalist to get bent, take the absurd salary you were paying him and give it to those workers you are laying off. If you do it now, you might have a company worth salvaging. Or if you insist on pulling a Bain Capital, at least start selling off the assets, patents, and tech to some companies that will put them to good use so those workers can get jobs at a real company. Good news, bad news – firing Elon and saving the company might actually save his ass. He’s not going to be the richest asshole in the world anymore but at least his stock will be worth something. And then he can start to pay off his debts and the Saudis might not send a bunch of guys to his house to dismember him while he’s still alive.
geesh, morans.
catclub
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
The difference of course is that Twitter was bought once, while the Ukrainian -Russian war will have continuing payments in increasing amounts, year after year.
I do notice when they compare the value of a company ( a quantity) to the GDP of some nation ( a flow, ie. quantity per year).
Paul in KY
@Mike in NC: I would hope TFG is more hated. Though not by a lot….
Paul in KY
@Tony Jay: Tony, best wishes to you and your family! Hope y’all have a great Christmas/New Year!
For whatever reason, I have not seen any recent Dispatches From Brexetainia. Have you given those up for the Holiday Season? I have probably missed some and you for sure are under no obligation to provide them :-)
Anyway, hope you watched the Cup Final. When Mbappe evened it up, Jeezus I was stoked! Also when he hit that last penalty in extra time. Just wish our man Harry had been able to do that… Tho, I would still send him up there again. He’ll probably hit his next 40 now.
Ken
@dmsilev: Pratchett was writing to early to add the part where the Emperor’s sycophantic courtiers made up nasty stories about the kid and his family, and organized mobs to go to the kid’s house and harass them.
Ken
“When I wrote code three decades ago, I didn’t need any of this ‘kubernetes’ or ‘service mesh’ stuff. And I only had to get it working on one platform, the good old 80-character terminal hooked up to the college mainframe. We waste half our time making sure twitter runs on a dozen different browsers and phones!
“Which reminds me, every minute you spend testing is a minute you’re not coding….”
Tony Jay
@Paul in KY:
Same to you, Paul. Seasonal Felicitations in abundance!
I’ve had some urges towards venting about Brexitania’s latest plunges into oncoming traffic, but to be honest there’s so much shit going down here and over on your shores that I haven’t been able to find the time for a good, long, whine. Maybe in the New Year.
I’d have loved to have watched the World Cup, but I just couldn’t justify loaning them my eyeballs this time around. Complete boycott, sadly.
Central Planning
@Ken: “I don’t often test my code, but when I do, it’s in production” and “My code is self-documenting”
StringOnAStick
Talked last night with the friend who was in the first round of deadbird layoffs; he’d first been promised 3 months severance. Last week it got hacked back to two weeks retroactively, but the 2 months worth finally hit his bank account so at least that can’t be clawed back. Musky is a completely amoral ass.
JanieM
@karen marie: Thanks for this. I was wondering if i just needed more caffeine or something.
Paul in KY
@Tony Jay: Cool. You are, sir, a man of principles & I commend you on that! Stay safe & warm!