I saw this: “. . .with Kelce promoting Pfizer’s VAX!! It is all a coordinated effort by Biden. Think about it. The Gen Zer’s and the young people follow Mrs. Swifty and Mr. Swifty is being laid by Pfizer. The government has long been known to use celebrities to get out a message. — Southern …
Tuesday Evening Open Thread: The Sportsball CircusPost + Comments (287)
No, a Chiefs Super Bowl would be contested for the part of America’s soul that hasn’t already been hedge-funded to Satan because it pits all the louts in the He-Man Woman Haters Club who resent Swift—because even if she isn’t a necromancer with captivating vocal range she still brings girls and all their cooties to the games and ruin the boys’ furniture-breaking adolescent fun—against everything that yesterday’s performance by Kelce The Elder provides. He is the unintended antidote to the Swifties without even trying, just standing on the front railing of the suite three seats away powerbombing Genesees after every first down. The cultural bloodbaths in living rooms across the nation will serve as a fitting warmup act for the meteor or asteroid we will all pray for come November.
And frankly, however Taylor and the Fun Kelce want to crush the week is all good with us. The Super Bowl, long a trade show with a football game tied to the end of it for tax purposes, has become a staid, predictable, events-by-the-numbers, money-on-the-hoof showcase. The halftime show is the same trumped-up extravaganza of last year’s pop stars waiting for their turn on Celebrity Jeopardy. The pre- and postgame shows are still where helium goes to die. Every overproduced ad is either for gambling, cars that drive themselves into trees, or medicines for diseases only yaks get, all with the soundtrack of a 1970s pop song you have to ask your parents about. (“Yeah, that’s Harry Nilsson, he did a song called ‘You’re Breakin’ My Heart’; your mother and I danced to it at prom.”)
And that’s just the stuff you like.
In other words, this is a fight not for the game or even the day, but the entire week. Las Vegas is the only place this can possibly work and even at that it may be more than the town can handle, so it is not just happy coincidence that this is the year when it all can come together. The Swiftmaster General, the Kelce Family Circus, Vegas just being Vegas—it can all make the football industry itself pale in significance at a time when it really needs a humble pie with roofing-nail crust catapulted into its face. Hey, it’s that or three more weeks of back-up quarterback legacy talk, and that’s the reason why you stopped listening to sports talk shows when you got a job, isn’t it?