I can’t even.
I just read this story and burst into peals of laughter. There’s so much fail here it’s actually hard not to laugh at the sheer insanity of it all:
1) Florida (sorry Floridians1, but FAIL!);
2) Republican (obvious FAIL!);
3) introduced legislation to bring back “Old Sparky” and if that doesn’t work, to provide prisoners with “a lead cocktail.” (FAIL!, FAIL!);
4) He’s tired of being humane (This is redundant; see item 2);
5) Would throw prisoners off a bridge if he could (Seriously?!);
6) Got the idea from some asshole at Waffle House (Yes, seriously.)
So yeah, I laughed.
And I’m not talking “how droll” laughter; I’m talking “these people are nuts; we’re all gonna die” laughter:
Florida state Rep. Brad Drake (R) is angry that Valle’s execution took so long. So angry, in fact, that he introduced a bill yesterday to eliminate lethal injection as a execution method altogether in favor of electrocution or the firing squad. “I’m sick and tired of this sensitivity movement for criminals,” Drake declared.
Drake got this ingenious idea to bring back electrocution and firing squads from an equally ingenious place: a Waffle House. Overhearing a constituent call for such methods, Drake said he decided to file the bill. After all, “if it were up to me we would just throw them off the Sunshine Skyway bridge,” he said: