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Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

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Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

When I was faster i was always behind.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Petty moves from a petty man.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

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Sweet Fancy Moses!

You are here: Home / Archives for Sweet Fancy Moses!

Everything Trump Touches Dyes (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  December 17, 20183:02 pm| 275 Comments

This post is in: Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Politics, General Stupidity, Sweet Fancy Moses!

There’s nothing wrong with dyeing one’s hair. I do it occasionally, and my daughter used to dye her hair a different color every week. There is something wrong with ridiculing people for their appearance, but with egregiously awful human beings such as these, the normal rules of civility are more difficult to follow, so I hope you’ll let it slide.

And besides, Padma Lakshmi started it…

The border Stephen Miller should actually focus on pic.twitter.com/cp7QGdPli6

— Padma Lakshmi (@PadmaLakshmi) December 17, 2018

…and then she replied to MY tweet about HER tweet…

pic.twitter.com/A5SVU9XcFa

— Padma Lakshmi (@PadmaLakshmi) December 17, 2018

…so now I am deceased, obviously. Go ahead and criticize a dead woman for hair-shaming, if that makes you feel better.

Open thread!

Everything Trump Touches Dyes (Open Thread)Post + Comments (275)

Real. It’s real.

by Betty Cracker|  December 7, 20184:31 pm| 76 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity, Sweet Fancy Moses!

So, this is a real tweet that the current President of the United States sent a little while ago about a person he hired to represent the United States of America abroad:

Mike Pompeo is doing a great job, I am very proud of him. His predecessor, Rex Tillerson, didn’t have the mental capacity needed. He was dumb as a rock and I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. He was lazy as hell. Now it is a whole new ballgame, great spirit at State!

As I’ve mentioned, I’m refraining from embedding the fool’s tweets to spare us all the sight of his hideous orange face, but here’s a link if you want to make sure it’s a 100% real tweet from the POTUS and not a spoof account run by an eight-year-old boy. Help us, Mueller-wan-kenobi; you’re our only hope!

Open thread.

Real. It’s real.Post + Comments (76)

The Amazing Flying Jackal (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  September 11, 20181:42 pm| 161 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Readership Capture, Sweet Fancy Moses!

Beloved, indomitable commenter and talented lyricist SiubhanDuinne recently jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. She wrote the following narrative and submitted photos of that adventure just for us:

I’ve been a physically timid person just about all my life, with phobias too numerous to count — but for whatever obscure reason, sky-diving has been on my personal bucket list for years. I was given the opportunity to do my first jump as a celebration of my 76th birthday, a few weeks after the fact. It took place on Sunday, 9/9/18, at SkydiveSpaceland-Atlanta (actually located in the obscure little town of Rockmart, GA, pop. 4,100, about 70 miles west of the ATL). I was with three friends; of the four of us, only one had ever jumped before.

Getting suited up and strapped into the harness. That’s my instructor/tandem partner Nigel doing the honours.

Story continues below the fold…

show full post on front page

The Amazing Flying Jackal (Open Thread)Post + Comments (161)

NYT Op-Ed from “Resistance Inside the Trump Admin”

by Betty Cracker|  September 5, 20184:00 pm| 314 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity, Sweet Fancy Moses!

Y’all have to go read this right now. A “senior official in the Trump Administration” wrote an op-ed that was just published in The Times. An excerpt:

President Trump is facing a test to his presidency unlike any faced by a modern American leader.

It’s not just that the special counsel looms large. Or that the country is bitterly divided over Mr. Trump’s leadership. Or even that his party might well lose the House to an opposition hellbent on his downfall.

The dilemma — which he does not fully grasp — is that many of the senior officials in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.

I would know. I am one of them.

To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the left. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made America safer and more prosperous.

But we believe our first duty is to this country, and the president continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our republic.

That is why many Trump appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our democratic institutions while thwarting Mr. Trump’s more misguided impulses until he is out of office.

The root of the problem is the president’s amorality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making…

Given the instability many witnessed, there were early whispers within the cabinet of invoking the 25th Amendment, which would start a complex process for removing the president. But no one wanted to precipitate a constitutional crisis. So we will do what we can to steer the administration in the right direction until — one way or another — it’s over.

What the actual fuck, fellow citizens? Spanky’s gonna blow a gasket. I hope to Christ that person has bundled old shoes and newspaper clippings into the “nuclear football” and given the real codes to someone responsible, like Justice Sotomayor. We’re in Cloud CuckooLand.

NYT Op-Ed from “Resistance Inside the Trump Admin”Post + Comments (314)

“A Series of Tubes” (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  August 28, 201811:41 am| 201 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity, Sweet Fancy Moses!

The moron in the Oval Office watched “Lou Dobbs” last night and got a bee in his bonnet about the Google search results for “Trump News.” Now he’s threatening to “regulate” Google’s search engine. No, really:

WASHINGTON – White House economic adviser Larry Kudlow said Tuesday that President Donald Trump is considering new regulations on Google’s search engine to address his concern that it turns up too many stories that are critical of him.

Pressed by reporters at the White House on Tuesday about a tweet the president wrote criticizing Google’s search engine as “rigged,” the director of Trump’s National Economic Council said the administration is “taking a look” at federal regulations for the company.

“We’ll let you know,” he said.

Even the not terribly bright Chris Cillizza was able to vaporize this embarrassingly foolish complaint, pointing out the idiotic premises on which it rests, which include profound ignorance of how search engines work and a media ranking system devised by a crackpot that classifies “news” from Alex Jones as “center right.”

Sweet Fancy Moses, fellow citizens, we are living in the stupidest of timelines. Open thread.

“A Series of Tubes” (Open Thread)Post + Comments (201)

Things I Did Not Know (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  August 6, 20186:52 pm| 192 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Sweet Fancy Moses!

Finally watching Ken Burns’ “The Vietnam War” and just learned that Hồ Chí Minh once worked as a pastry chef at the Parker House Hotel in Boston. I was not aware of that.

Have any little known facts to share?

Open thread.

Things I Did Not Know (Open Thread)Post + Comments (192)

Wednesday Afternoon Open Thread

by Betty Cracker|  July 11, 20183:02 pm| 137 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Sweet Fancy Moses!

The person who did this is a goddamned genius:

UPDATE: pic.twitter.com/3Iq7vMcbmQ

— Schatz (@emjbourne) July 10, 2018

Don’t mind me, I’m just dying over here. ?

It’s the gift that keeps on giving. pic.twitter.com/HmvlFiXch4

— Schatz (@emjbourne) July 11, 2018

Dying, I tell you!

Dollar Tree Portraits ? pic.twitter.com/ivonQHUjas

— Schatz (@emjbourne) July 11, 2018

Annnnd, I am deceased!

Wednesday Afternoon Open ThreadPost + Comments (137)

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