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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

We will not go back.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

When I was faster i was always behind.

Fight them, without becoming them!

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

We do not need to pander to people who do not like what we stand for.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

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You are here: Home / Archives for 2020

Archives for 2020

Parnas Interview (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  January 15, 20208:55 pm| 254 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Politics

I know my girl Rachel isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but the Parnas interview is a huge scoop. Anyone else gonna watch?

Also, have you seen the second tranche of Parnas documents? (An aside: I’m loving the elevation of the word “tranche.”) Holy shit!

Open thread!

Parnas Interview (Open Thread)Post + Comments (254)

Second-Wave Feminism Open Thread: E! R! A! (A Sentimental Cheer)

by Anne Laurie|  January 15, 20204:52 pm| 162 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Proud to Be A Democrat, Women's Rights, Daydream Believers

JUST IN: Virginia lawmakers have approved a resolution ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment — becoming the 38th state of 38 required to do so.

— NPR (@NPR) January 15, 2020

Of course, nothing will happen while Trump & McConnell are in charge. That can be changed, too.

(I’m of the conviction that, when it comes to Chief Justice Roberts, one should remember Finley Peter Dunne’s wise words from the last Gilded Age: “The Constitution may or may not follow the flag, but the Supreme Court follows the Election returns.”)

? Both chambers of the Virginia legislature adopted the Equal Rights Amendment this morning.

Virginia becomes the 38th state to ratify the ERA, putting the amendment above the 3/4th threshold.

Dems just took control of VA government for the first time in 26 years last week.

— Taniel (@Taniel) January 15, 2020

Sets up a legal showdown, with the DOJ defending the position it's too late. https://t.co/zRmFSugnX5 pic.twitter.com/B8QvlPBlx6

— Taniel (@Taniel) January 15, 2020

Today is a huge day for women and the Equal Rights Amendment.

Please watch and share this viral doc by the great @KenBurns for some history on the ERA and why all eyes are on Virginia to be the last state needed to ratify the amendment. #ERANow pic.twitter.com/gbSZ9jeEl2

— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) January 15, 2020

I want to send out a special tweet to @Senatorspearman who resurrected the Equal Rights Amendment. I love you, Pat. Thank you. https://t.co/x6RqJhKXTW

— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) January 15, 2020

Second-Wave Feminism Open Thread: E! R! A! (A Sentimental Cheer)Post + Comments (162)

Murderous Douchebags Open Thread: A Note on Translation

by Anne Laurie|  January 15, 20202:40 pm| 112 Comments

This post is in: Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Russiagate, The Whistleblower Saga, Trump Crime Cartel, Lock Him Up...Lock Them All Up

From a native Russian speaker (who emigrated to America in his teens):

To be precise, the Russian word снять, which is here translated as "get rid of" usually means "to remove from position" and not "to murder in a dark alley by means of a dagger to the liver."
Doesn't change that the whole exchange is bonkers, but we MUST be precise. https://t.co/N7ZxkGLBqL

— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) January 15, 2020

Not only does he omit all punctuation and use the completely wrong form of the pronoun "me," he can't even spell Lutsenko's first or last name properly.
This is the Russian of someone who really hasn't used it in a long time and who was never well educated to begin with.

— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) January 15, 2020

However, ONCE AGAIN, in the last text, it is not correct to translate "никуда не денется" as "she is not getting away." The actual meaning is "her time will come" and it obviously refers to the word "снять", which, again, does not mean "murder."
I am annoyed by this translation.

— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) January 15, 2020

It's a crazy exchange, providing the circumstances and the characters involved, but I can't imagine any Russian who would read this word and think murder or kidnapping.

— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) January 15, 2020

Sounds a lot like a Michael Cohen analog, actually — talk like a made man, act like a cheap shyster offering payoffs funded by a second mortgage.

Murderous Douchebags Open Thread: A Note on TranslationPost + Comments (112)

Confederacy of Douchebags

by @heymistermix.com|  January 15, 202012:43 pm| 80 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Trump Crime Cartel

Betty has a good substantive post below about the Parnas docs, whatever happened with Yovanovitch (spoiler: all bad), etc. My less substantive comment: my God is this Hyde guy a fucking douche.

I can’t tell which one is Hyde in the photo above – the MAGA yarmulke overwhelms my optical cortex. Maybe one of you with more experience with douche signifiers can give me a hand. (By the way, this is from a TPM Prime post, for which Josh Marshall earned the whole $50 or so that I pay every year for the biggest bargain in media on the Internet.)

Open thread.

Confederacy of DouchebagsPost + Comments (80)

The Parnas Document Dump

by Betty Cracker|  January 15, 202011:31 am| 155 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality, Trump Crime Cartel, Trump-Russia, Trumpery

I was distracted last night with the debate and cooking dinner and arguing with my husband about the thermostat and having a glass or five of red wine because I was COLD, so I first started trying to make sense of the Parnas document dump this morning. I confess I am still agog. This take by Charlie Pierce makes sense to me:

As it turns out, Marie Yovanovich was even braver than she looked in front of the House Intelligence Committee. And, as it turns out, Speaker Nancy Pelosi really knows what she’s doing. At the end of the day on Tuesday, just as the Democratic presidential candidates were taking the stage in Des Moines and the president* was taking the stage in Milwaukee, the House Democrats unleashed the hounds. They dumped a whole truckload of ugly from the files of Lev Parnas, Rudy Giuliani’s great and good “associate” and, apparently, one of the great sleazebags of the western world.

Also released were a bunch of texts from a Trumper in Connecticut named Robert Hyde. He was in touch with Parnas, and there were text messages between the two in which Hyde seemed to indicate that, at the very least, Yovanovich was being monitored—which, I will grant you, sounds a bit grandiose coming from a landscaper from Connecticut. Nevertheless, this stuff is positively ominous.

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ! The ambassador’s account of being told to hop on the next plane for “security reasons” always seemed like a strange and unexplained facet of the hatchet job on Yovanovich’s reputation. This certainly puts an even more chilling spin on Trump’s “she’s gonna go through some things” comments on the “perfect call.”

Here’s another bizarre fact in this thoroughly crazypants scenario: the Connecticut landscaper/hit-man purveyor was Baker Acted (involuntarily taken into custody by authorities under Florida law for a psych eval) at Trump’s Florida golf club last year. David Corn at MoJo:

According to an “incident/investigation” report filed by the Doral, Florida, police department, on May 16, 2019, an officer was dispatched to the Trump National Doral Miami to deal with a “male in distress fearing for his life.” That man was Hyde. The report noted that Hyde explained to the police officer that “he was in fear for his life, was set up and that a hit man was out to get him. Mr. Hyde spoke about e-mails he sent that may have placed his life in jeopardy. Mr. Hyde explained several times that he was paranoid that someone was out to get him.”

The report stated that Hyde cited “a variety of different names, contacts and provided information in reference to why he felt his life was in danger.” After being taken into custody by the police, according to the report, “Mr. Hyde continued to act paranoid telling us not to stop next to certain vehicles…[H]e explained that he was scared due to several painting workers and landscape workers trying to do harm to him because they weren’t working. Additionally Mr. Hyde explained that his computer was being hacked by Secret Service. And then went on to further explain that the secret service [sic] was arrival [sic] on the premises watching him.”

What in the wide world of fuck? It’s tempting, if only for the sake of one’s own sanity, to surmise Hyde is just a random nutbag who wasn’t really commissioned by the president’s personal attorney to at least surveil — if not actually harm — a U.S. ambassador abroad. But, as in the case of Rudy Giuliani’s henchmen, including Parnas, there are tons of photos of Hyde with Trump, Trump Jr., Eric Trump, Ivanka, Giuliani, etc. Hyde has also donated tens of thousands of dollars to Trump and other Republicans. It seems to be a pattern, no?

Anyhoo, even aside from the increasingly alarming and accumulating evidence that Trump is running the federal government for his personal and political benefit via mafia-style shakedowns and intimidation tactics, the Parnas document dump blows multiple absurd impeachment defenses right out of the water. Here’s an excerpt of Neal Katyal and Joshua A. Geltzer summarizing that aspect in The Post:

Americans who have been wondering why President Trump has taken the extraordinary step of trying to block every document from being released to Congress in his impeachment inquiry need wonder no longer. The new documents released Tuesday evening by the House Intelligence Committee were devastating to Trump’s continuing — if shifting — defense of his Ukraine extortion scandal, just days before his impeachment trial is likely to begin in the Senate. These new documents demolish at least three key defenses to which Trump and his allies have been clinging: that he was really fighting corruption when he pressured Ukraine on matters related to the Biden family; that Hunter Biden should be called as a witness at the Senate impeachment trial; and that there’s no need for a real, honest-to-goodness trial in the Senate.

They’re right, although the evidence the House Democrats cobbled together in the face of unprecedented obstruction suggested that weeks ago, and Trump’s enablers have been unmoved. Still, WTF, fellow citizens? The wily Pelosi — who will go down in history as one of the most effective and consequential Speakers of the House ever — will transmit the articles to the Senate today.

As MisterMix noted, Pelosi has already boxed McConnell in (boxed turtle?) on summary dismissal and witnesses — either he allows a trial with witnesses, or he presides over such a flagrant cover-up that it may cost him his gavel, which is certainly more precious to him than that son of a bitch Trump.

I’m speculating here, and maybe I’m totally wrong, but won’t people want to get to the bottom of this shit, even at least some Republican voters in red states? Perhaps not, but maybe?

In any case, can this latest Parnas business be raised in the trial? It’s material to Trump’s claims, as Katyal and Geltzer argue, so I don’t see why not. Also, I don’t know which shoes will drop off the centipede next, but is it possible the House Democrats have even more stuff under wraps? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all, and it’s way too early for wine.

The Parnas Document DumpPost + Comments (155)

Impeachment Managers Named

by John Cole|  January 15, 202010:43 am| 36 Comments

This post is in: Trump Crime Cartel

As follows:

Pelosi on Wednesday selected seven House members to serve as impeachment managers in the Senate trial, including Schiff (D-Calif.) and Nadler (D-N.Y.).

The group will argue that Trump abused the power of his office, obstructed Congress and should be removed from office. Countering that argument will be Trump’s defense team, which is expected to be led by White House counsel Pat Cipollone.

Besides Schiff and Nadler, Pelosi named as managers Reps. Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.), Sylvia Garcia (D-Tex.), Val Demings (D-Fla.), Zoe Lofgren (D-Calif.) and Jason Crow (D-Colo.).

Of those, the one who I am most excited to see is Jeffries. He was amazing, direct, completely prepared, and succinct during the earlier House procedures.

Impeachment Managers NamedPost + Comments (36)

All Of It Means Nothing

by John Cole|  January 15, 20209:46 am| 113 Comments

This post is in: Election 2020, Politics, Readership Capture

Apparently the dominant conversation regarding the 2020 Democratic nomination for the past week has been an offhand remark by Liz Warren stating that Bernie had once said he didn’t think a woman could win the Presidency, and this has led to the predictable and depressing nonsense that we can expect in a primary. The diehard Bernie supporters are all convinced this was some sort of plan to smear him by Warren, and the predictable chaos has ensued. Normal people, of course, have paid no attention to this, but since I am not normal, here is my two cents. First, I find it implausible that the most issue substantive campaign I have ever seen, Warren, would decide that their closing argument in Iowa is “Sanders is sexist” is ridiculous. Second, when has pointing out sexism EVER worked in a woman’s favor? All it ever does is… serve as the baseboard for a whole host of sexist attacks.

On Bernie’s part, I don’t think noting that America is a deeply sexist nation and that it is his personal opinion that a woman can’t win is that crazy, either. Mostly because I watched the coverage of Clinton in 2016 and have watched the coverage of Harris, Klobuchar, and Warren this election cycle and the fact that our President is an orange haired Harvey Weinstein. Now I do not happen to share Bernie’s opinion from back then, and do not share it now (nor, do I believe, does Bernie), but having this opinion does not make someone a monster. If you had told me in 2006 while half the nation was freaking out because Rachel Ray wore a scarf or the Flight 93 memorial resembled an Islamic crescent that a black dude with the name of Hussein would be President in two years I would have scoffed at you then.

***

One of the benefits of the never-ending site rebuild and the utter odiousness of our President and thus the polluted news cycle has been that it has allowed me to take a step back. Every time I have wanted to blog for what feels like forever, I have logged on and have other website related shit I have to deal with, front pager angst in emails, angry emails from people about one thing or another, and all the energy I had to post something dissipates before I get anything written. Then I check the front page and Mistermix or Anne Laurie or Adam or Betty have already written, better than I could, what I wanted to talk about.

All of which is to say I am far better situated than previously to recognize “extremely online” behavior on my twitter feed, in the comments here, and on other various social media websites. It’s enough to make you think a lot of people have lost their minds. Again, some of this is the general primary season mania, a lot of it is the fact that everything is crazy and shit because our President is a fucking lunatic and the entire Republican party has sold out or at least finally been honest about having been bought and paid for all these years, but at times it is enough to look at things and see why my parents and others like them just wash their hands of it all and tune out the day to day stuff and quietly support people like Klobuchar, Biden, Harris, and Buttigieg.

I see it here in the comments, too- the Russian 2016 operation has made everyone paranoid and crazy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to be wary, and it is good to call out people deliberately and repeatedly putting out misinformation, and it is appropriate to be cautious about which news sites you follow and read and quote. And Adam is completely right that the campaigns are all woefully unprepared for the shit that is going to hit them this fall. At the same time, though, some of you have lost your fucking minds. I see people calling Mistermix a troll, or anyone who has a divergent opinion is smacked down and ganged up on. I hate to break it to you. Sometimes someone is just wrong, sometimes someone just has a different opinion than you, sometimes someone is just an asshole. Deal with it. Pie them. Don’t engage them. But grow the fuck up. Just like with terrorism, you can’t let outside forces change your essential nature or character. We failed miserably with terrorism on that regard, don’t do it again now.

***

At any rate, while certain segments of the extremely online community are going full Baader-Meinhof on each other, it’s a relatively small phenomenon in the bigger picture. Depending on who you read or who you follow on twitter, it may seem overwhelming at times. In the big scheme of things, it means nothing, though. Not one vote was changed due to this how little flare-up: all it did was firm the positions of people whose positions on Bernie or Warren weren’t going to change, anyway.

You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of all the toxic manbabies who spend hundreds of hours and thousands of gallons of ink wailing about an asian woman being an integral part of the new Star Wars or going over canon and stating that all the new movies suck because Han shot first or blah blah blah. And they are passionate, and consumed, and they scream and raise a fuss and it seems like the new movies is going to be terrible if you listen to all the noise being made.

And then the new Star Wars goes out and earns 5 billion dollars.

So take a step back. Try to get out of these toxic feedback loops and give people the benefit of the doubt. Do something positive- volunteer for a candidate you like rather than trash one you don’t, reach out to someone in need. Try to be kind to someone who seems to be angry in the comments section somewhere.

Just be better. The primaries will be over soon and we have a lot of work to do to take back the country.

All Of It Means NothingPost + Comments (113)

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