Government contract oligarch Elon Musk came up with a new story yesterday on why he left Ukrainians high and dry in the middle of a covert operation against legitimate military targets in Russian-occupied Ukrainian territory. It’s Biden’s fault. (Daily Beast)
Speaking at the All-In Summit on Tuesday, Musk said he would have needed direct approval from the Biden administration to enable Starlink satellite communications for the sneak attack.
“At the time this happened, the [satellite network in the] region around Crimea, um, was actually turned off. Now the reason it was turned off… actually originally it was because the United States had sanctions against Crimea, and we were not allowed to actually turn on connectivity, without explicit government approval,” he said. “So, um, basically Ukraine didn’t give us any advanced warning or heads up or anything, we just got the sort of urgent calls from the Ukrainian government saying we needed to turn on Crimea.”
He went on to say that while he is not President Joe Biden’s “biggest fan,” he would’ve turned the system on “if I had received a presidential directive” to do so.
“The Ukrainian government is not in charge of U.S. people or companies. That’s not how it works,” he said to raucous applause from the audience of the tech conference, before going on to blast the “absurd accusations” that his decision may have been motivated by a cozy relationship with the Russian government.
“They were really asking us to proactively take part in a major act of war,” he said of Ukrainian leadership.
I don’t know anything about this conference except that attendees responded with “raucous applause” when Musk said Ukraine isn’t the boss of him. But that douchebag reaction suggests it’s unlikely anyone asked Musk follow-up questions, such as, “Did you tell the Ukrainians you needed a personal ‘pretty please’ from Joe Biden?” or “As the beneficiary of many U.S. government contracts, did you alert your contacts in the government about what Ukraine was requesting?”
Musk’s latest talking points sound like they were inspired by the now-cancelled Tucker Carlson show on Fox News. As far as I know, Carlson is still trying to resurrect his crappy show on Musk’s shitty platform, so maybe that’s the source. In either case, the space between Musk’s talking points and Carlson/Kremlin messaging is infinitely smaller than the gaps between panels on the average Tesla.
Open thread.
PS: In my experience, when someone says “actually” more than once in a single paragraph, there’s a 100% chance they are lying and/or being defensive.
Geo Wilcox
Musk is a traitor. Period.
Ken
Because I have never had an original thought in my life, I will again note that Terry Pratchett called these “wallpaper words” because they’re used to paper over the big cracks in your argument. “Clearly” and “Obviously” were also on the list.
EDIT: Ooh, an original thought. “Traditionally” definitely belongs on the list.
Anon
The bubble is strong here. Bury your head harder in the sand
SiubhanDuinne
@Ken:
“Basically” belongs there as well.
WaterGirl
Elon: If you’re explaining, you’re losing. No one deserves it more than you.
Kudos to Ronan Farrow for getting the information out there and not saving it for a fucking book. God, I hate those people.
bjacques
Things must be really getting hot for him if he’s having to reverse-ferret (kalakal and Tony Jay know this one) three times in a week. And the Ukrainian engineers managing to salvage one or two of those Sea Babies and use them to better effect a few weeks later still brightens my day!
suzanne
Musk is a total POS, as we all know. I’m just bummed that so many kids will have to go through life with him as their father.
mrmoshpotato
Posterboy for Kickable Crotch magazine.
WaterGirl
@Ken: @SiubhanDuinne:
Actually
Basically
Clearly
Obviously
Traditionally
Do you suppose there is at least one “wallpaper” word for every letter of the alphabet?
How about weasel words? I always like to call them out, and they are everywhere in mainstream reporting.
Burnspbesq
That’s about as credible as the latest pronouncement from George Santos.
moonbat
That this asshole thinks that the President of the United States should confer with him on matters of wartime strategy is indication No. 1093 that his contracts, all of them, need to be pulled.
Does poor Elon have ANYONE in his life that can give him an occasional ego check? Just because a bunch of sycophant tech bros have declared you king of the world, does not make it so.
Jeez!
Parfigliano
@Geo Wilcox: As a traitor he should be dealt with accordingly. Extremely.
narya
@WaterGirl: Demonstrably; Evidently, Fundamentally, Generally, H, Indubitably, Justifiably (?), K, L, M, N, Popularly, Quintessentially, Reportedly (or maybe Regrettably) . . .
Ken
Definitely.
bbleh
@WaterGirl: Traditionally — actually basically obviously — superfluous adverbs are clearly wallpaper words.
MisterDancer
No shame in swiping from Pratchett!
MisterDancer
That’s the sense I get. Even given the fact that he clearly lives for the online feedback, this is some serious backpedaling.
Baud
Actually, Musk is actually lying, actually.
Old School
Yes, everyone knows the U.S. government is in charge of U.S. companies. That’s just capitalism.
frosty
@WaterGirl: Trump’s “Truths”, in fact everything he says are full of weasel words. I wish I could think of an example off the top of my head. Any time he makes an outrageous statement there are one or two qualifiers in front of it.
MattF
I’ll note that the ‘X’ in the social media site ‘Xitter’ is pronounced as ‘sh’, as in the Chinese ‘Xi’. And that takes care if the letter ‘X’.
ETA: Actually, actually.
Baud
“i would have put my fears of nuclear Armageddon to one side if only Joe Biden had given the order.”
Alison Rose
@narya: Hypothetically?
Baud
“I know people say the cyber truck is ugly, but it was Joe Biden who designed it.”
Tony G
@Ken: It was a rule of thumb during my I.T. “career” that the more confident somebody sounds about his/her project, the less likely it is that the project will actually succeed. That’s ACTUALLY true!
Baud
“I thought Twitter was worth only $10 billion, but Joe Biden insisted it was worth four times as much.”
lowtechcyclist
The obvious question is, who the fuck in the government did Muskrat talk to, to try to get word to Biden?
So far, it seems he only talked to Russians.
Kay
It’s amusing he had that hagiography come out and even that biographer couldn’t clean him up enough to avoid scandal.
Kay
Bros on the Left, Right and Center worship Musk. Nothing he does or says will ever shake their hero worship of him.
WaterGirl
@Ken: ha!
moops
He’ll just keep throwing up more excuses until people accept it rather than have to listen to more lies, or people move on to the next huge scandal he causes.
My bet is that he is going to X to ratfuck the upcoming Presidential election as hard as he can.
Westyny
@narya: literally for L, of course.
Kay
Musk lies constantly. This is about as reliable as what Donald Trump says.
He can also be confident no one in the US government will lconfirm or deny his account,so he can lie with complete impunity.
We should stop listening to liars.
narya
@Alison Rose: There we go! Unfortunately, Virtually . . .
ETtheLibrarian
Entitled white man blames someone else for his poor decision making, news at 11.
Jeffro
Charlie Sykes on trump’s pulling the GOP’s strings re: a Biden impeachment:
narya
@Westyny: Obviously. :-)
Purportedly belongs there, too. Supposedly.
SiubhanDuinne
Naturally
ETA: Certainly, Surely
Kay
The abject, groveling worship of rich people is one of the worst things about the United States. It disgusts me and makes me ashamed. Good Christ, get off your knees. Where’s our self respect.
Baud
Mostly or Materially.
narya
@Baud: Naturally.
Tenar Arha
@Tony G: I was literally counseled once at an annual review to not qualify all my statements because it made me sound unsure of myself. But every single developer who was emphatic was never on time or under budget. (－‸ლ) = facepalm
narya
Actually, Basically, Clearly, Demonstrably, Evidently, Fundamentally, Generally, Hypothetically, Indubitably, Justifiably, Literally, Mostly/Materially, Naturally, Obviously, Purportedly, Quintessentially, Realistically, Supposedly, Traditionally, Undoubtedly/Undeniably, Virtually
Still missing K, W, X Y Z
Old School
@narya: Xenophyllically
wjca
Maybe they’ll get lucky, and he’ll be a totally absentee
parentsperm donor.FelonyGovt
@narya: Widely?
Alison Rose
@narya: Hmm…not sure if there are any adverbs starting with K that would truly fit in this list, but I suppose one could argue that “knowingly” could be used in a similar way.
Roberto el oso
Putin spoke very warmly about Musk at that recent shindig in Vladivostok (noted and quoted by Adam Silverman in the last Ukraine update). Maybe Musk is feeling some slight uptick in temperature regarding the consequences of who he chooses to align himself with?
Prometheus Shrugged
@WaterGirl: In the academic world, I’ve noticed more widespread use of the phrase “I was told that…” prior to some ridiculous argument or claim.
I’ve gotten this line not only from students in the classroom (e.g. as their defense for some breach of policy or failure to complete an assignment) but also from faculty (who should know better, but are nevertheless prone to making absurd administrative requests and excuses).
Bugboy
Excuse me, but the only person in the world who thinks Crimea is under Russian sanctions is Melon Husk’s BFF, Vladimir Putin.
WaterGirl
@narya: Nice work!
WaterGirl
@FelonyGovt: Excellent!
Betty Cracker
@Kay: Did you see the piece Charlie Warzel wrote for The Atlantic almost a year ago: Elon Musk’s Texts Shatter the Myth of the Tech Genius? Texts between Musk and his obscenely rich, sycophantic Silicon Valley pals were included in discovery when Twitter sued Musk to make him complete the sale. Sweet weeping Jeebus, they are among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet! It’s nonstop fawning, nonsensical ideas and pledges of pallets of cash.
WaterGirl
@Prometheus Shrugged: “I was told that” – as if that makes it valid – has no place in an academic environment! Yikes
narya
@Old School:@FelonyGovt:@Alison Rose: Good ones! Looks like we’re only missing Y and Z.
WaterGirl
@Betty Cracker: I couldn’t help myself. I had to add this as a rotating tag.
Bill Arnold
Are we expected to believe that Ukraine would have launched a major military operation that was utterly dependent on Starlink connectivity without actually testing or otherwise verifying that said Starlink connectivity was present along the path of the attack?
I suppose we are expected to believe that Mr. Musk is not lying; it’s not like he has a track record of lying about consequential things, right? Right? (/s if not clear)
Villago Delenda Est
Keep tap dancing, Elno, you’ll never be Fred Astaire or Michael Jackson.
sdhays
@Jeffro:
This was a major impetus for the impeachment of Bill Clinton. It was retaliation for Nixon, cheapening the process into just another partisan tool and as a warning to Democrats that no matter how much a Republican President might deserve it, Republicans will retaliate in kind at the first opportunity, no matter the cost.
Villago Delenda Est
@MisterDancer: If you’re going to swipe, swipe from the best!
wjca
Let alone Ginger Rogers.
Not that he’d have the wit to aspire to that level of accomplishment.
dm
@Ken: I’ve always been fond of “Left as an exercise for the reader….”
Then there’s the legend about the math professor at the blackboard saying, “It’s obvious that….” pausing for a few moments to stare at the board. Stepping back. Leaving the room. Returning a few minutes later, to say: “It is obvious that….”
So: nobody’s remarked at the mysterious Starlink outage last night as the Ukrainians were launching a drone attack on Sevastopol?
catclub
@WaterGirl: ‘It stands to reason’
Trans: I could not come up with a logical argument.
From homework: The exercise is left to the reader.
dm
@Betty Cracker: Those texts were from the same people who tell us that Eloi is worth humpdumps of billions.
Okay, he’s got Tesla stock that’s publicly traded, but the rest of his wealth is in privately owned SpaceX, Boring, etc. How is that evaluated? Well, … Musk tells us that Twitter is evaluated at $44 billion (or was, until “the ADL got involved”).
I suspect one should apply the same multiplier to his other private evaluations.
It’s also worth noting that he was worth $20 billion as recently as 2020. The $220 billion inflation in his wealth all happened between 2020 and 2022.
catclub
@frosty:
People are saying….
Betty Cracker
@WaterGirl: LOL!
Papa Boyle
@narya: H = Honestly
wjca
Probably won’t admit, even to himself, that this would mean it’s thanks to Biden.
eversor
I served. I’ve also been a security contractor, a general DoD/FP contractor, and a consultant. For how it works you were contracted to do or deliver a thing. You have no options after you take the contract. Said thing must be done or said thing produced. You do not get to decide or dicate it. You provide said service and you deliver, what the US does with it is out of your hands. Don’t like it, don’t take the contract.
The notion of taking national security level contracts and then trying to reneg on your terms of service by throwing a fit in the media is so fucking insane I can’t fully grock it.
Elmo is begging for a black bag at this point.
Villago Delenda Est
With extreme prejudice.
brantl
If Melon Husk has said more than one sentence,, I believe there is a 110% chance that he’s lying. And it only takes more than one sentence, if the first sentence is Hi, I’m Melon Husk.
Gravenstone
@suzanne: And he’ll wonder why they all hate him…
Sebastian
@dm:
I did. Problem for Musk is that the attack was with StormShadow missiles that do not use StarLink. He might have thought it’s a drone attack and pulled the plug (again) but if he did, he’s fucked now.
Torrey
“Actually” is more than just a wallpaper word because it has a particular meaning and usage. You would only use “actually” if what you’re about to say contradicts either something that was said previously or expectations or assumptions people already have. (Hence the joke about mansplaining always starting with “well, actually.”) In this case, it’ a dead giveaway that he’s contradicting what he said previously. One doesn’t often see that sort of thing signaled this blatantly.
CliosFanBoy
From “The Admirable Crighton” (1957).
eversor
@Villago Delenda Est:
I fought the DoD and the DoD won…
Feathers
@Prometheus Shrugged: This is because if you say something without disclaimer it is assumed to be your own original thought. If it turns out to be someone else’s, you get accused of plagiarism or co-opting other people’s work. Is this how plagiarism works? No. Is it ridiculous? Yes. But it’s the sort of ass covering people feel forced into because of petty people who turn this sort of thing into a blood sport.
People not claiming their own original thoughts is a different problem, but still a trust issue.
I know this is a dead thread, but I left the thread open intending to comment on this.
Ruckus
@Geo Wilcox:
Musk is a traitor. Period
To just the US or the entire planet?
Cause I could go either way.
Ruckus
@Burnspbesq:
Ouch!
Very true BTW, but ouch.
Ruckus
@Kay:
Musk lies constantly. This is about as reliable as what Donald Trump says.
I’d say come on now.
Except.
I’d be wrong and you’d still be righ
Two peas in a pile of shit. Of their own making ……
Chris T.
@WaterGirl:
Well, let’s start with your list and keep going, sticking with adverbs (edit: and these are “can be used as” wallpaper, not necessarily “are always” wallpaper):
Actually
Basically
Clearly
Definitely
Equally, eventually
Functionally? Fervently?
Generally
Historically, hopefully
I, J, K – I have nothing!
Literally (misused)
Mostly
Nearly
Obviously
Possibly
[Q – drawing a blank here]
Realistically
S … perhaps “sincerely” when being nothing but?
Traditionally
U … not getting good adverbs but “unless” can be used to paper over various things
Virtually
W,X,Y,Z – these are tough…
So, pretty close to at least one per letter.
Chris T.
@Ruckus:
(on Musk being a traitor)
Entire planet, I’d say, what with the Mars fixation.
Ruckus
@Roberto el oso:
Maybe Musk is feeling
What? Musk – feeling? I don’t think that’s possible.
Doesn’t one have to be some type of animal to do that?
Manyakitty
@Kay: long dead thread, I’m sure, but OMG yes. If not for the worship of money and those who hoard it, Donald Trump would have been in prison 50 years ago.
Had that been the case, imagine how much else would be better, too? Sigh.
StringOnAStick
I got to listen to the cousin’s libertoonian partner excuse what happens a year ago as “not true” . If I didn’t like my husband’s cousin so much, I would have I loaded on this guy long ago, so I’m going to let the more diplomatic mutual friend handle it.
As for Melon Husk, I have a close friend about to bail out of her lucrative sales job because it’s become a 12hr/day minimum, and when she asked for admin help, the boss said “Elon’s employees do what you’re doing and more, so what’s your problem?”. Yeah, time to find a new job.
Poor Sue
@narya: h=honestly
k=knowably
L = legalistically
m=measurably
n=naturally
o=optically, optimally
Poor Sue
@frosty: Many people are saying…
We’ll see what happens …