Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

When I was faster i was always behind.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Hot air and ill-informed banter

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

You are here: Home / Elections 2024 / 2024 Primaries / Ladies Auxiliary (Open Thread)

Ladies Auxiliary (Open Thread)

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Lauren Boebert, berserk MAGA political stuntwoman, is discovering her party’s boundaries in the wake of VapeGropeGate. The rules are simple enough even for a person of her limited intelligence to understand.

It goes like this: Trump can grab coochies, shag a porn actress behind his wife’s back, spy on half-dressed underage beauty pageant contestants, etc. But elected MAGAs of the female persuasion better confine their antics to activities like making violent threats, cyberstalking mass shooting survivors or heckling bereaved parents in front of TV cameras — even consensual public groping isn’t allowed.

According to this NYT article (gift link), a chastened Boebert is making the rounds in her district, apologizing for the “Beetlejuice” incident and looking for “a lot of mercy and a lot of grace” in hopes of holding onto a job for which she is wildly unqualified and performs poorly. Recall that she almost got bounced from the best job she’ll ever have in 2022, when she hung onto the seat by fewer than 600 votes.

The Times reports that some members of the GOP establishment in Colorado are ready to cut their losses and have endorsed a primary opponent, Jeff Hurd, who holds similar views on issues like guns but is less overtly feral. Hurd’s backers include brewery bigwig Pete Coors.

But I don’t think Hurd is going anywhere, despite releasing photos of himself sitting at the head of the table at a wholesome family dinner, a not-so-subtle contrast with public strumpet Boebert. Here’s why:

Asked if he had voted for Mr. Trump in past elections, Mr. Hurd declined to answer, but then described a vision of the Republican Party where “we believe in, you know, the rule of law, the peaceful transfer of power in elections.”

Bzzzzzzzzt! Wrong answer for a 2024 Republican primary candidate. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict a Boebert primary win because worshipping the Orange Calf seems more important to the base than punishing moral turpitude in the MAGA ladies auxiliary.

“Lauren’s made it harder for herself,” said Kathy Elmont, the secretary of the Ouray County Republican Party, who has supported Ms. Boebert since her first campaign. “But I look at it as a Christian.” She recalled the passage in the Gospel of John in which Jesus admonishes a crowd against stoning an adulterous woman: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

But Mrs. Elmont pointed out that wasn’t the last of the story. “He ended with, ‘And sin no more,’” she said.

Elmont means no more sexy-time scandals; threatening violence, stalking traumatized shooting survivors, heckling bereaved parents, etc., is okay. Hopefully Boebert’s Democratic opponent can pick her off.

***

Remember when I filled y’all in on Trump’s plans to crush DeSantis at this weekend’s Florida Freedom Summit? If hat sales tell the tale, it’s mission accomplished for Hair Furor. From The Tampa Bay Times:

KISSIMMEE — The hats weren’t selling. They were off-white and polyester and embroidered with three words: DeSantis for President.

So LeeAnn Crotty decided she’d reduce the price to $5.

“We’re trying to offload them,” she said from behind her merchandise booth.

At the other end of the booth — set up in the air-conditioned hall of the Gaylord Palms Resort & Convention Center — other hats displayed messages including “TRUMP 2024″ and “GOD GUNS AND TRUMP.”

Those hats were selling, Crotty said. They were priced for $15. Some, the ones with rhinestones, were fetching $20.

Hilarious. DeSantis had a shitty afternoon speaking slot at the event, sandwiched between two mortal political enemies, his gubernatorial predecessor Rick Scott and the former statehouse toady Randy Fine, who recently unendorsed DeSantis and endorsed Trump.

When it was time for Bootsie to shuffle forth on tippy-toes and recite lies like “We are the freest state in all of these United States” in a droning, adenoidal voice, he was introduced by Tacky O, who lied that DeSantis is “America’s governor.” I love watching those two circle the drain and look forward to the big flush.

Open thread.

Reader Interactions

74Comments

  1. 1.

    West of the Rockies

    Hurd sounds better than Boebert, but probably in the way motor oil is better for you than antifreeze.

    Yes, watching the DimSantis couple spin crazily before departing the bowl is lovely!

  2. 2.

    zhena gogolia

    It goes like this: Trump can grab coochies, shag a porn actress behind his wife’s back, spy on half-dressed underage beauty pageant contestants, etc. But elected MAGAs of the female persuasion better confine their antics to activities like making violent threats, cyberstalking mass shooting survivors or heckling bereaved parents in front of TV cameras — even consensual public groping isn’t allowed.

    le mot juste

  3. 3.

    cmorenc

    Bobert will fall just shy of qualifying for even a limited congressional pension if she loses her seat in the 2024 elections.  (Link is to a generic article about congress pension qualifications).  To minimally qualify, a member of Congress must complete at least 5 years of service, and if she does somehow hang on for a third term, she would qualify for 16k a year (but not until age 62) if she completed it.   The full potential amount (80% of congressional salary) would not vest unless and until she completed 25 years in Congress, which seems like a real stretch, but OTOH some extremely wretched congresspersons have made it that far.

    And so, what is a rootin’ tootin’ shootin’ Yosemite Samantha-type like Bobert going to do to support herself if she busts out of congress in 2024?   Is there enough room on the RW welfare circuit for her to make a living giving speeches and doing appearances?  Or will she end up as a waitress in a bar in Aspen?  Stay tuned.  Or not.

  7. 7.

    cain

    @cmorenc: not sure Aspen will take her. Perhaps a 2nd amendment themed restaurant?

    That woman quoting Jesus. Fuck her. She only has Christian forgiveness for her folks.

  10. 10.

    Raoul Paste

    It’s hard to imagine how much badgering Tacky-O is giving DeSantis these days.  What a horrible existence they must have.
    Not gonna end well.

  18. 18.

    Bex

    I read that Nikki Haley dropped out of the FL Freedom Summit at the last minute for “family reasons.”  She was tied with DeSatan for second place behind TFG.  Haven’t seen anything more about this.

  19. 19.

    Nettoyeur

    @lowtechcyclist:  WaPo was save by the Marty Baron-Besuz partnership. But it started to fade when Marty retired (did he know something?) and new CEO comes from Murdoch-Boris J circle and was party to the Murdoch phone hack scandal. I expect to bail soon.

  25. 25.

    Central Planning

    @Alison Rose: And sad to say, TIL about Rule 34.

    For those of you playing the home game, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_34

    Rule 34 is an Internet meme which claims that Internet pornography exists concerning every possible topic. The concept is commonly depicted as fan artof normally non-erotic subjects engaging in sexual behavior and/or activity.[1] It can also include writings, animations, images, GIFs and any other form of media to which the internet provides opportunities for proliferation and redistribution.

    ETA – I mean, I felt like that was true before learning about Rule 34. This is truly a full-service blog IYKWIMAITTYD. Also, don’t google “BJ Rule 34” expecting to find out how Rule 34 applies to this site.

  26. 26.

    SFAW

    When it was time for Bootsie

    I realize Mr. Collins spells it differently, but I would rather you not use Bootsy’s name as a placeholder for DeathSantis.

  27. 27.

    Sure Lurkalot

    @lowtechcyclist: I latched on to WaPo a year after I stopped the NYT. After a few years, I decided not to renew and they gave me a year for $10. Last year I was again planning on canceling but I renewed at $29. When this year ends around Xmas, I’m canceling regardless of the offer and plan to check out the LA Times…they usually have a $1 for first 6 months special.

  29. 29.

    Yarrow

    Update on Fiona, the formerly lonely sheep. She got her first shear! They left a reasonable amount of wool on her because it’s heading into winter and she needs to stay warm. Link is to Facebook but I can see it without an account. Link. There’s a picture of her there.

    Fiona’s FIRST shear.

    We went with the old school hand shears for this job so that we could leave a nice layer of wool on to keep her warm this winter.

    Sheep like Fiona would usually be sheared mid summer so by leaving an inch of wool on she will have the same cover as most of her new friends at Dalscone Farm!

    She should fit right in

    We got some great video footage of the wool coming off and of Fiona enjoying her first few steps without that huge weight on her back! Video to follow soon.

    Fiona’s massive fleece will go to Wooldale Wool to be made into something amazing that we can raffle off for charity. More details coming soon.

    We’ll update you on our mission to get Fiona to her new home at Dalscone tomorrow.

    I’m hoping that all the support from the public will persuade the people opposed to what we are doing to leave and let us get the job done.

  30. 30.

    Steeplejack

    Sunset at 5:05 here in Threadkill Lane. Yeesh. I’m agnostic on DST vs. standard, but the transitions can be rough. I went to bed very early (for me) last night, and that, combined with the time change, had me wide awake at an unseemly (pre-dawn) hour this morning. Now I feel like I want to find a cave for the winter.

  32. 32.

    prostratedragon

    @Yarrow:  Was wondering if the wool would be usable. I’m sure they’ll do something extra nice. Btw, I could not see the article on android.

  34. 34.

    Brachiator

    a chastened Boebert is making the rounds in her district, apologizing for the “Beetlejuice” incident and looking for “a lot of mercy and a lot of grace” in hopes of holding onto a job for which she is wildly unqualified and performs poorly.

    I must confess that her antics give a new meaning to the word “Beetlejuice.” Also, I can easily imagine her as a character in a sequel to the film. Her antics are just that frenetic.

    However, it does seem a bit unfair that she is held to a …higher… standard than some of her colleagues. Most of them are equally ridiculous.

  39. 39.

    Feathers

    LOL. THE BEETLEJUICE INCIDENT sounds like a cheesy 70s spy thriller.

    Very disappointed that we aren’t getting a raft of political thrillers like we did in the 80s is disappointing. The anti-Reagan’n’Thatcher really showed. Knew we had turned a dark corner when the remake of House of Cards made the main character a Democrat from South Carolina. The original was proudly about the sleazy Tory bigwigs angling to replace Margaret Thatcher. The first episode aired days before the Conservative Party leadership election where she was ousted. An actual remake should have been about the Republicans angling for the 2016 nomination, with a Ted Cruz type figure as the lead. I’d have accepted Dems trying to outmaneuver Clinton as well, but that would have been harder to pull off. I watched the first season and part of the second, but the fantasy of both sides being the same sort of Machiavellian monsters made it no fun. Political thrillers need to be emotionally realistic.

  40. 40.

    Another Scott

    I’m glad you rescued this from the trash, BC. (The URL.) :-)

    Meanwhile, …

    Greg Sargent
    @ThePlumLineGS
    8h

    Exactly. Media widely reported that Trump’s visit to autoworkers would spell trouble for Biden’s reelect (w/some outlets falsely claiming Trump was appealing to strikers!). Now that UAW won after Biden aligned himself with the strike, there’s been little followup analysis. Odd.

    Nicholas Grossman
    @NGrossman81
    Nov 4

    “Trump and Biden Compete for Striking Autoworkers” blared headlines, as Biden joined UAW picketers and Trump denounced electric vehicles to a non-union audience.

    But as @ThePlumLineGS notes, now that UAW got a deal, media’s pretty quiet about the politics.

    washingtonpost.com/opinions/…
    Nov 5, 2023 · 2:23 PM UTC

    Funny how that works, huh.

    (via Fritschner)

    Fingers crossed for Tuesday!!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  42. 42.

    Eyeroller

    @Timill: ​
     It sounds like they fucked around for three days “gaining her trust” when she was baaing to people on top of the cliffs trying to get their attention, and finally the farmers got fed up and rescued her. So now the “activists” are pissed. I support animal welfare shading towards animal rights and clowns like those don’t help.

  43. 43.

    Feathers

    @prostratedragon: Wool gets washed and carded. Fleece can be very dirty. They put coats on some fancy sheep to keep them clean. They look like cartoon sheep wandering around.

  44. 44.

    Citizen Alan

    @cmorenc: Porn. She’ll do porn. It’s the final stop for people who have absolutely no moral character, but who are even mildly good looking and will do literally anything to extend their 15 minutes of fame.

  48. 48.

    Citizen Alan

    @Feathers:

    Once, I realized that the main character/villain was a white Democrat from South Carolina who was nevertheless politically influential enough to rise to the top of the Democratic Party, I completely lost interest. Might as well have written a political thriller about a singing pink unicorn.

  49. 49.

    Mike in NC

    Gun bunny Boebert is Sarah Palin 2.0, with about as much of a political future ahead of her.

  55. 55.

    prostratedragon

    Yarrow@37: Yep, could see it on the desktop. Looks like the wool was more than doubling her volume!

  56. 56.

    cope

    As a new resident of CO-3, I look forward to voting against Ms. Boebert next fall.  I, too, think she will win her primary.  However, I am remarkably consistent in my failure to accurately predict political outcomes so we will have to wait and see.

    Also, clipping sheep.  As an experienced (one season) assistant sheep clipper, the wool that comes off them is a generally unattractive melange of wool, dirt, plant debris and sheep shit.  It all has to be treated as described in comments above before it gets turned into a nice tweed jacket.

  60. 60.

    Sally

    @Eyeroller: I read on Yarrow’s link that the activists are upset that Fiona is going to a petting zoo.  They believe that is inappropriate for her.  The article said there will be five months before the zoo opens to the public (after winter, I guess), so the rescuers believe she will acclimatise to her new surroundings and people in that time. I have no idea, but they should be able to assess whether or not she is unduly stressed in her new environment.

  61. 61.

    Subsole

    @cmorenc:

    Like the proverbial money in the proverbial banana stand, there is always room on the wignut welfare circuit (WWC).

    All she has to do is keep genuflecting to the Bronzed Calf.

  71. 71.

    Geminid

    @cope: Lauren Boebert had a fairly solid Republican challenger last year in State Senator Don Coram. She still won the primary by a comfortable margin. The difference this time is that she almost lost an R+7+ district last November.

    This will be a test of 3rd District Republican pragmatism. Mr. Hurd would be favored to win next November, while Boebert could fumble away an otherwise safe district.

    Political scientists often observe that candidate quality will not overcome district demographics, but next November Boebert could prove a limiting case for this rule.

  73. 73.

    StringOnAStick

    I find it interesting that the CO R party is pushing forward someone who isn’t entirely whackaloon, because that’s been the default of the party leaders, who, after losing badly as CO turns from purple to blue, doubled down on the crazy level last year (according to what I remember reading here).  The D who barely lost to her last time has been working hard to win that seat ever since.

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