Lauren Boebert, berserk MAGA political stuntwoman, is discovering her party’s boundaries in the wake of VapeGropeGate. The rules are simple enough even for a person of her limited intelligence to understand.
It goes like this: Trump can grab coochies, shag a porn actress behind his wife’s back, spy on half-dressed underage beauty pageant contestants, etc. But elected MAGAs of the female persuasion better confine their antics to activities like making violent threats, cyberstalking mass shooting survivors or heckling bereaved parents in front of TV cameras — even consensual public groping isn’t allowed.
According to this NYT article (gift link), a chastened Boebert is making the rounds in her district, apologizing for the “Beetlejuice” incident and looking for “a lot of mercy and a lot of grace” in hopes of holding onto a job for which she is wildly unqualified and performs poorly. Recall that she almost got bounced from the best job she’ll ever have in 2022, when she hung onto the seat by fewer than 600 votes.
The Times reports that some members of the GOP establishment in Colorado are ready to cut their losses and have endorsed a primary opponent, Jeff Hurd, who holds similar views on issues like guns but is less overtly feral. Hurd’s backers include brewery bigwig Pete Coors.
But I don’t think Hurd is going anywhere, despite releasing photos of himself sitting at the head of the table at a wholesome family dinner, a not-so-subtle contrast with public strumpet Boebert. Here’s why:
Asked if he had voted for Mr. Trump in past elections, Mr. Hurd declined to answer, but then described a vision of the Republican Party where “we believe in, you know, the rule of law, the peaceful transfer of power in elections.”
Bzzzzzzzzt! Wrong answer for a 2024 Republican primary candidate. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict a Boebert primary win because worshipping the Orange Calf seems more important to the base than punishing moral turpitude in the MAGA ladies auxiliary.
“Lauren’s made it harder for herself,” said Kathy Elmont, the secretary of the Ouray County Republican Party, who has supported Ms. Boebert since her first campaign. “But I look at it as a Christian.” She recalled the passage in the Gospel of John in which Jesus admonishes a crowd against stoning an adulterous woman: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
But Mrs. Elmont pointed out that wasn’t the last of the story. “He ended with, ‘And sin no more,’” she said.
Elmont means no more sexy-time scandals; threatening violence, stalking traumatized shooting survivors, heckling bereaved parents, etc., is okay. Hopefully Boebert’s Democratic opponent can pick her off.
***
Remember when I filled y’all in on Trump’s plans to crush DeSantis at this weekend’s Florida Freedom Summit? If hat sales tell the tale, it’s mission accomplished for Hair Furor. From The Tampa Bay Times:
KISSIMMEE — The hats weren’t selling. They were off-white and polyester and embroidered with three words: DeSantis for President.
So LeeAnn Crotty decided she’d reduce the price to $5.
“We’re trying to offload them,” she said from behind her merchandise booth.
At the other end of the booth — set up in the air-conditioned hall of the Gaylord Palms Resort & Convention Center — other hats displayed messages including “TRUMP 2024″ and “GOD GUNS AND TRUMP.”
Those hats were selling, Crotty said. They were priced for $15. Some, the ones with rhinestones, were fetching $20.
Hilarious. DeSantis had a shitty afternoon speaking slot at the event, sandwiched between two mortal political enemies, his gubernatorial predecessor Rick Scott and the former statehouse toady Randy Fine, who recently unendorsed DeSantis and endorsed Trump.
When it was time for Bootsie to shuffle forth on tippy-toes and recite lies like “We are the freest state in all of these United States” in a droning, adenoidal voice, he was introduced by Tacky O, who lied that DeSantis is “America’s governor.” I love watching those two circle the drain and look forward to the big flush.
Open thread.
West of the Rockies
Hurd sounds better than Boebert, but probably in the way motor oil is better for you than antifreeze.
Yes, watching the DimSantis couple spin crazily before departing the bowl is lovely!
zhena gogolia
le mot juste
cmorenc
Bobert will fall just shy of qualifying for even a limited congressional pension if she loses her seat in the 2024 elections. (Link is to a generic article about congress pension qualifications). To minimally qualify, a member of Congress must complete at least 5 years of service, and if she does somehow hang on for a third term, she would qualify for 16k a year (but not until age 62) if she completed it. The full potential amount (80% of congressional salary) would not vest unless and until she completed 25 years in Congress, which seems like a real stretch, but OTOH some extremely wretched congresspersons have made it that far.
And so, what is a rootin’ tootin’ shootin’ Yosemite Samantha-type like Bobert going to do to support herself if she busts out of congress in 2024? Is there enough room on the RW welfare circuit for her to make a living giving speeches and doing appearances? Or will she end up as a waitress in a bar in Aspen? Stay tuned. Or not.
HinTN
The big flush cannot come fast enough.
Alison Rose
Not until you show the same to others, you silicone skank.
NotMax
Made in either China or Thailand, no doubt.
cain
@cmorenc: not sure Aspen will take her. Perhaps a 2nd amendment themed restaurant?
That woman quoting Jesus. Fuck her. She only has Christian forgiveness for her folks.
lowtechcyclist
Just to give the Virginia GOP a boost in the final weekend, the WaPo does a big puff piece about Youngkin.
Every now and then, I’d think about re-subscribing to the WaPo. I’d say the chances just went to zero for the foreseeable future.
Alison Rose
BTW since I know not everyone peruses the Ukraine threads, but I do think everyone will enjoy this like I did: Zelenskyy calling putin a “fucking terrorist” (in English!) was *chef’s kiss*. There is a little bleep over the f-bomb, but it’s so tiny and brief that you can still pretty much hear the whole word.
Raoul Paste
It’s hard to imagine how much badgering Tacky-O is giving DeSantis these days. What a horrible existence they must have.
Not gonna end well.
Alison Rose
@Raoul Paste: Badgering is about all she’s probably giving him, IYKWIMAITTYD.
Hoppie
@cmorenc:
A waitress at a bar? Very possibly. In Aspen? I doubt it…
@cmorenc:
Raoul Paste
@Alison Rose: Heh
zhena gogolia
@NotMax: At that price.
KrackenJack
It’s going to take some vigorous plunging to clear the drain of those two.
cain
@lowtechcyclist: I’ve been noticing CNN being very Fox like. Stayed at a hotel this weekend. They even had some chyron about cancel culture on school campus.
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
It was a big mistake messing with Beetlejuice
Bex
I read that Nikki Haley dropped out of the FL Freedom Summit at the last minute for “family reasons.” She was tied with DeSatan for second place behind TFG. Haven’t seen anything more about this.
Nettoyeur
@lowtechcyclist: WaPo was save by the Marty Baron-Besuz partnership. But it started to fade when Marty retired (did he know something?) and new CEO comes from Murdoch-Boris J circle and was party to the Murdoch phone hack scandal. I expect to bail soon.
Central Planning
@cain:
Yeah, because the “others” keep on sinning /s
Central Planning
@Alison Rose: TIL badgering is probably a sex position/act.
Alison Rose
@Central Planning: Rule 34, baby.
WaterGirl
@Alison Rose: I love it if it’s real. Do we know it’s not AI?
WaterGirl
Is it better or worse for Boebert to just admit that she was high?
Central Planning
@Alison Rose: And sad to say, TIL about Rule 34.
For those of you playing the home game, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_34
ETA – I mean, I felt like that was true before learning about Rule 34. This is truly a full-service blog IYKWIMAITTYD. Also, don’t google “BJ Rule 34” expecting to find out how Rule 34 applies to this site.
SFAW
I realize Mr. Collins spells it differently, but I would rather you not use Bootsy’s name as a placeholder for DeathSantis.
Sure Lurkalot
@lowtechcyclist: I latched on to WaPo a year after I stopped the NYT. After a few years, I decided not to renew and they gave me a year for $10. Last year I was again planning on canceling but I renewed at $29. When this year ends around Xmas, I’m canceling regardless of the offer and plan to check out the LA Times…they usually have a $1 for first 6 months special.
The Kropenhagen Interpretation
I thought Boebert was trying to exorcise a different demon.
Yarrow
Update on Fiona, the formerly lonely sheep. She got her first shear! They left a reasonable amount of wool on her because it’s heading into winter and she needs to stay warm. Link is to Facebook but I can see it without an account. Link. There’s a picture of her there.
Steeplejack
Sunset at 5:05 here in Threadkill Lane. Yeesh. I’m agnostic on DST vs. standard, but the transitions can be rough. I went to bed very early (for me) last night, and that, combined with the time change, had me wide awake at an unseemly (pre-dawn) hour this morning. Now I feel like I want to find a cave for the winter.
NotMax
Harry couldn’t wait. Particularly on creaky days such as this one, am of a different mind.
;)
prostratedragon
@Yarrow: Was wondering if the wool would be usable. I’m sure they’ll do something extra nice. Btw, I could not see the article on android.
indycat32
@Yarrow: what are they doing that people are opposed to? Seems to me they’re doing a very good thing.
Brachiator
I must confess that her antics give a new meaning to the word “Beetlejuice.” Also, I can easily imagine her as a character in a sequel to the film. Her antics are just that frenetic.
However, it does seem a bit unfair that she is held to a …higher… standard than some of her colleagues. Most of them are equally ridiculous.
Yarrow
@indycat32: I explained as much as I understand about the animal rights activists issues with rescuing the sheep in this comment.
Timill
@indycat32: The “activists” thought they had a deal to do the rescue, and some local farmers got in ahead of them. So their noses are out of joint…
Yarrow
@prostratedragon: I copied almost all of it so you didn’t miss anything. Try it on a laptop/desktop. It might work there.
indycat32
@Yarrow: Thanks. I missed that.
Feathers
LOL. THE BEETLEJUICE INCIDENT sounds like a cheesy 70s spy thriller.
Very disappointed that we aren’t getting a raft of political thrillers like we did in the 80s is disappointing. The anti-Reagan’n’Thatcher really showed. Knew we had turned a dark corner when the remake of House of Cards made the main character a Democrat from South Carolina. The original was proudly about the sleazy Tory bigwigs angling to replace Margaret Thatcher. The first episode aired days before the Conservative Party leadership election where she was ousted. An actual remake should have been about the Republicans angling for the 2016 nomination, with a Ted Cruz type figure as the lead. I’d have accepted Dems trying to outmaneuver Clinton as well, but that would have been harder to pull off. I watched the first season and part of the second, but the fantasy of both sides being the same sort of Machiavellian monsters made it no fun. Political thrillers need to be emotionally realistic.
Another Scott
I’m glad you rescued this from the trash, BC. (The URL.) :-)
Meanwhile, …
Funny how that works, huh.
(via Fritschner)
Fingers crossed for Tuesday!!
Cheers,
Scott.
Alison Rose
@WaterGirl: It’s on his official YouTube page.
Eyeroller
@Timill:
It sounds like they fucked around for three days “gaining her trust” when she was baaing to people on top of the cliffs trying to get their attention, and finally the farmers got fed up and rescued her. So now the “activists” are pissed. I support animal welfare shading towards animal rights and clowns like those don’t help.
Feathers
@prostratedragon: Wool gets washed and carded. Fleece can be very dirty. They put coats on some fancy sheep to keep them clean. They look like cartoon sheep wandering around.
Citizen Alan
@cmorenc: Porn. She’ll do porn. It’s the final stop for people who have absolutely no moral character, but who are even mildly good looking and will do literally anything to extend their 15 minutes of fame.
Central Planning
@Brachiator:
You’re in luck! September 6, 2024: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beetlejuice_2
West of the Rockies
@WaterGirl:
Worse. She’d be admitting “drug”use and promiscuous behavior (with a Democrat no less.
prostratedragon
@Feathers: Oh, I bet that’s a sight. Was thinking more about matting.
Citizen Alan
@Feathers:
Once, I realized that the main character/villain was a white Democrat from South Carolina who was nevertheless politically influential enough to rise to the top of the Democratic Party, I completely lost interest. Might as well have written a political thriller about a singing pink unicorn.
Mike in NC
Gun bunny Boebert is Sarah Palin 2.0, with about as much of a political future ahead of her.
Steeplejack
@indycat32:
Story from The Guardian. “Ordeal of ‘Britain’s loneliest sheep’ continues as activists accused of intimidating farm staff.”
Citizen Alan
@Mike in NC: Sarah palin is a tower of intellect and rectitude compared to lauren bobert.
HumboldtBlue
I have no interest in anything Boebert does, it’s up to Coloradans to fix that chancre.
In far more interesting news, a new Shōgun is on the way in February. 10 episodes. Can’t wait.
West of the Rockies
@Mike in NC:
So we should expect the film “Who’s Boppin’ Boebert?”
SiubhanDuinne
@Yarrow:
That picture reminds me of Tunch and the Furminator.
prostratedragon
Yarrow@37: Yep, could see it on the desktop. Looks like the wool was more than doubling her volume!
cope
As a new resident of CO-3, I look forward to voting against Ms. Boebert next fall. I, too, think she will win her primary. However, I am remarkably consistent in my failure to accurately predict political outcomes so we will have to wait and see.
Also, clipping sheep. As an experienced (one season) assistant sheep clipper, the wool that comes off them is a generally unattractive melange of wool, dirt, plant debris and sheep shit. It all has to be treated as described in comments above before it gets turned into a nice tweed jacket.
WaterGirl
@Alison Rose: Hmmm.
I guess that’s good enough for me. :-)
prostratedragon
Aurora borealis at Donegal, Ireland.
Ian
For those who haven’t seen, Chotiner does his work on Randy Fine.
Sally
@Eyeroller: I read on Yarrow’s link that the activists are upset that Fiona is going to a petting zoo. They believe that is inappropriate for her. The article said there will be five months before the zoo opens to the public (after winter, I guess), so the rescuers believe she will acclimatise to her new surroundings and people in that time. I have no idea, but they should be able to assess whether or not she is unduly stressed in her new environment.
Subsole
@cmorenc:
Like the proverbial money in the proverbial banana stand, there is always room on the wignut welfare circuit (WWC).
All she has to do is keep genuflecting to the Bronzed Calf.
glc
@Yarrow:
Ok this comment thread is getting too worked up, I’ll leave you all to it.
zhena gogolia
@Subsole: So funny, I thought you were talking about Fiona the Sheep. I think she’s too good for the wingnut circuit.
eclare
@SFAW:
Agreed!
Kay
@Another Scott:
They never cover labor news though- the ony reason they covered the UAW strike is they assumed the UAW would fail.
Montanareddog
@West of the Rockies: Here comes Tuggy Boo Boo
coin operated
@Montanareddog:
I lol’d.
Steeplejack
@HumboldtBlue:
The trailer is impressive!
West of the Rockies
@Montanareddog:
😃
NotoriousJRT
@cmorenc: According to Stephanie Ruhle, Boebert wants a gig like Steph’s in a “money for nuthin’” sort of way.
Geminid
@cope: Lauren Boebert had a fairly solid Republican challenger last year in State Senator Don Coram. She still won the primary by a comfortable margin. The difference this time is that she almost lost an R+7+ district last November.
This will be a test of 3rd District Republican pragmatism. Mr. Hurd would be favored to win next November, while Boebert could fumble away an otherwise safe district.
Political scientists often observe that candidate quality will not overcome district demographics, but next November Boebert could prove a limiting case for this rule.
Subsole
@zhena gogolia:
I’m pretty sure putting her there would qualify as several counts of animal cruelty.
StringOnAStick
I find it interesting that the CO R party is pushing forward someone who isn’t entirely whackaloon, because that’s been the default of the party leaders, who, after losing badly as CO turns from purple to blue, doubled down on the crazy level last year (according to what I remember reading here). The D who barely lost to her last time has been working hard to win that seat ever since.
sab
@Yarrow: Thank you. That answers my questions about her fleece.