Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Infrastructure week. at last.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

This blog will pay for itself.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Let there be snark.

I was promised a recession.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

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Lily

Also Today at the Clinic

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When I arrived at the clinic today, I grabbed Lily’s crate and started the slow walk to the entrance, and was greeted with this:

Also Today at the Clinic

Also Today at the Clinic 1

When I got inside I asked them “Do you know you have a panther on the stoop” and they told me that he had showed up just the other day and they had started feeding him and didn’t know what to do with him.

I don’t believe in religion because I think it is just bullshit piled upon bullshit that people who can not deal with uncertainty cling to in times of despair or with not knowing, and because it is a useful tool to control and oppress people (and I know lots of you, billions upon billions of you disagree with me, and I am ok with that). On the other hand, I do know that the world works in a lot of interconnected ways that we have not even begun to understand or barely can comprehend, like the mycelial network, and numerous other things at the atomic and subatomic level.

So I guess what I am saying is I am that bougie instagram influencer who types “Spiritual but not religious” on their dating profile. Regardless, I took it as an immediate sign that Maxwell Edison, the cat who I am adopting, sent one of his compadres to let me know everything is going to be alright and help is on the way. The animal universe was just going about their way of getting the right animals to the right people.

After it was over, I sat on the bench and gave him some skritches while I pulled my shit together enough to drive.

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RIP Lily Cole (????-2022)

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RIP Lily Cole (????-2022) 1

I woke up this morning and Lily was asleep in her dog bed underneath my desk, so I went to take a shower after feeding Steve. After showering, I came into the office, and Lily had somehow gotten wedged underneath my office chair, with all four legs splayed out, lying in a puddle of urine. I said “oh Lily,” tried to pick her up so she could walk, and her legs just went out again. Tried again, same thing. And I knew.

Every dog owner knows when it is time, and I have known for a while the bill for 13 years of unconditional love was coming due. I cleaned her up the best I could, wrapped her in a towel, and headed to the clinic. My usual vet was not available, so I went to the Animal Urgent Care in Wheeling. I kept a hand on her the whole way to know I was there and because she was really out of it, and I tried to keep it together for her so she did not sense anything was wrong with me.

Got there, was taken to a back room, waited for what seemed forever, and they finally came back and gave her a shot to relax her. I was holding her when they gave it, and maybe 30 seconds after they gave her the pre-shot, she was for the most part gone. Her bladder evacuated on me, and she was in a deep, deep slumber, completely relaxed. I sat there holding her for the next fifteen minutes, just trying to somewhat keep my shit together, because my end of the bargain had not been held up, and I owed her still.

Another five years or so passed, and finally the vet came back, we found a vein, and administered the dose that would end Lily’s life. I held her in my arms, talking to her, felt her heart stop and her chest no longer rise and fall, had the vet confirm her heart was stopped, and just sat there for a while, just the two of us. I wanted to just run out of there before I completely broke down, but I had to wait for the post-mortem abdominal spasms to end. I was not going to leaver her there twitching on the table, I was going to hold her until I knew she was gone. The spasms finally stopped, and I had a very ugly, ugly cry for a while before pulling my shit together, paying the vet, and driving home. The Lily era has ended, and we are both better off.

***

RIP Lily Cole (????-2022)

Lily was a special dog. We met at a turbulent time in my life, and over the years we dealt with my anxiety and depression, my alcoholism, the loss of Tunch and Rosie, her cancer, and so many other things so big and small. I knew the moment I saw her that she was the one, even though I had gone to the shelter to adopt a cat. There are just so many things I want to say about her, but can’t, because I’m not in the right place right now. But I can say that I doubt I will ever have the same unconditional love for a dog that I did with Lily.

RIP Lily Cole (????-2022) 2

***

Lily Update- Home Again

I will miss so much about her. Her delicate eyelashes, her goofy smile, the way I would go to give her a kiss and she would burp in my face, her constant presence at my feet in her dog bed. The way that she seemed to be constructed from after market parts, with a neck thicker than her head so no collar could stay on, the long legs and the curled tail, the super thin abdomen. She was very feline, too- and walked along the backs of the couch and rarely barked, and if you tried to play with her and throw a ball to her, she thought you were trying to assault her.

I’m so fucking crushed right now. I can’t keep writing I need to go cry.

I will love you forever, Lily. You were the best dog in the world.

*** Update ***

I want to thank you all for your kind words, they really mean a lot, and I know that many of you feel the same loss. She wasn’t only my dog, she was all of ours. I’ll never forget how you all gifted me with four more years of her during her bout with cancer. One thing that does bring me comfort is that we were able to squeeze every good day out of her that was possible. Even yesterday she was eating well and napping and not in pain, and she was not showing any signs of physical pain today. She had thousands of wonderful days, and one bad one, but I know I did everything I could to make it as easy as possible for her.

In other news, I went to eat my feelings at the Italian restaurant and got to the big city and realized that I was only wearing boxer shorts, so I got fast food at a drive through. It’s nice to know there is still some normalcy and stability in my life.

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Lily’s Big Day

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Cancer 0, Lily 1:

Just got back from the veterinary hospital for Lily’s final round of treatment, and she was given a clean bill of health and t hey all just gushed about how she was really tough and was doing great. Been a long 18 months, but we did it. And now we nap:

We don’t have any more treatments, I just need to monitor her and in three months go back for some bloodwork.

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Lily Update- Home Again

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Got back from the vet with Lily and Rosie (Rosie just had her nails trimmed again). Lily had two perianal anedomas removed (one large and one small), as well as nine extractions of loose or broken teeth, which sounds worse than it is, but small dogs often get bad teeth. None of them were abcessed, which is good, and the rest of her teeth were cleaned. When I asked how many teeth she has left, Harry just told me “plenty.” So that’s good enough for me:

There was no puking on the car ride home, which is always a bonus whether I am driving my dogs or my friends, and Lily took a nice little walk around the neighborhood and seems to be doing well.

*** Update ***

Here’s a better picture of her resting behind me in her doggy bed:

Best dog ever. I love those big eyes and that wet nose.

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Lily Report, Also, Too, Dad Report

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Lily and I went to PVSEC, and another stellar report- all bloodwork was fine, she got her vincristine therapy, and she was certified adorable by the staff. Good girl, Lily!

In other news, after I dropped her off, I went to Costco, and as I was pulling in the parking lot realized it was the Saturday before Memorial Day (the last time I was there was a day or two before Easter), and of course it was a colossal clusterfuck. As I was trying to find a spot when Devon texted me that my father had fallen and broken his hip. I was on the phone with my mom, waiting to pull into a spot with my blinker on, and some lady tried to “steal” my space, and I honked and gave her the finger, and was completely out of line (she couldn’t see around the car pulling out and had no idea I was there). Decided then I needed to sit in the car and pull my shit together before going in or I was going to be in a viral youtube video or on the nightly news or both. Went in, hunted down the lady I was rude to, apologized, basically told her I just dropped my dog off for chemo and was on the phone with my mom because my dad had fallen and broken his hip and that everyone in the parking lot was irritating me and I just took it out on her and that wasn’t right. She was very nice and we chatted for a minute and went on about our business. I felt better afterward because there was no reason for me to put someone else in a sour mood because I’m an immature fuck who can’t handle his emotions.

At any rate, dad is at the hospital and just got the news that it was broken and he will need surgery tomorrow. We don’t know if it will be a full replacement or what, yet, but he is in a lot of pain and just generally pissed off. I mean, he has had a shit year. Apparently he and the boys were working in the yard, and he went into the garage to do something and just lost his balance, and twisted so he would not brain himself on things and landed on his hip. Thank goodness the boys were there because who knows how long he would have been there before mom found out- she’s used to him just disappearing into the yard for hours on end.

So that’s my day, and it is only 3 o’clock. Gonna take a nap and then gather up stuff to take to the hospital for dad (his tablet and some toiletries). I just feel bad for him because this is going to suck. At least in the winter he would not want to be outside, but now he has to recover during the best part of the year.

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Lily Update

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Spent the better part of the day at the PVSEC getting Lily’s treatment (now every six weeks). Lily was, as always, perfect on the ride up and an angel while waiting:

The vet techs and doctors sent me this picture from the back room to give me an inside look of the bow selection process:

As hoped, she was given an excellent report, is doing very well, and we go back in six weeks. She ended up with two bows since it is going to be six weeks:

Doc says she has put on a little weight, but you know how it is in the winter.

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