• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

“woke” is the new caravan.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

“But what about the lurkers?”

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

In my day, never was longer.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!

I wish a motherfucker would!

You are here: Home / Archives for I wish a motherfucker would!

Weekend Closeout Open Thread: Proud to Be A Snotty Cosmopolitan

by Anne Laurie|  June 16, 201910:32 pm| 68 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Flash Mob of Hate, I wish a motherfucker would!

Straight Pride Parade in Ada Oklahoma.

This picture says it all. You've got a trump banner in the background, a Confederate flag, a "Straight Pride" sign and a Nazi salute. pic.twitter.com/BtfLTQEIZr

— Stone ?? (@stonecold2050) June 16, 2019

When this is the alternative:

I honestly don’t think you’re gonna take Times Square. pic.twitter.com/niyBuhutvi

— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) June 15, 2019

Also, it’s hanged.

— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) June 15, 2019

We will defend Times Square but only to protect the theater district. The MAGA crowd can have M&M World and Olive Garden.

— Daniel Schwarz (@dschwarz) June 15, 2019

They’re already there.

— the Wendy lady (@wendyleaps) June 15, 2019

“We woulda taken Times Square but we couldn’t resist unlimited breadsticks and salad at Olive Garden. THERES AN OLIVE GARDEN HERE JUST LIKE HOME OHMYGERD”

— The Gaf (@thegaf) June 16, 2019

I don't think most Trump voters have thought about the fact that they'll have to get up off the couch to start their civil war.

— Robert Mueller's Diary ? (@GhostfaceKHZ) June 16, 2019

Dear Trump supporters a/k/a civil war planning committee,

We already have your leader surrounded in our capitol city. Raincheck?

Sincerely,
The United States

— Robert Mueller's Diary ? (@GhostfaceKHZ) June 16, 2019

pic.twitter.com/aGuyVipKJc

— ??????? ???? (@theresasmets) June 16, 2019


[Mildly NSFW note: All the obvious ‘Hung in Times Square‘ porno joke responses at the link.]

Weekend Closeout Open Thread: Proud to Be A Snotty CosmopolitanPost + Comments (68)

Dangerous Moron Open Thread: Brad Parscale Has Been Fed A New ‘Idea’

by Anne Laurie|  May 28, 201910:00 pm| 101 Comments

This post is in: Free Markets Solve Everything, Hail to the Hairpiece, Russiagate, Assholes, Go Fuck Yourself, I wish a motherfucker would!

I suspect 280 ruined him. Left all that space to replay the greatest hits. #QatariMeatballFight https://t.co/ClPkqpPl7e

— Zeddediah Springfield (@Zeddary) May 27, 2019

The president's social media presence may be moving platforms https://t.co/seiNEku3eT

— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) May 28, 2019

Like the old crack about a guy who thinks he’s a genius because he was standing outside with a bucket when it started raining soup, Brad ‘GRU Conduit’ Parscale thinks Trump’s promotion to the Oval Office makes Brad a political trendsetter. Trump is gonna give up his YOOOOGH instant-gratification Twitter platform about the same time my rescue bitch stops trying to get at the cat’s food — if that were ever to happen, I’d know if for a brink-of-death indicator. But, hey, here’s hoping the publicity puts this Parler platform under all the bright regulatory lights…

Donald Trump’s beef with social-media giants is well-documented—just last month, he brought Twitter C.E.O. Jack Dorsey to the White House to whine about the dip in his following that’s supposedly due to anti-conservative bias. Yet despite his gripes, and the gripes of his far-right allies over the de-platforming of people like Alex Jones, Twitter has remained the president’s megaphone of choice. That’s in part because no platform rivals the reach of Twitter, where Trump can broadcast his every thought to millions of people in seconds. But a new report suggests the president’s aides are pushing him to lend his online clout to a Twitter competitor, raising the specter of a social-media ecosystem that’s even more deeply polarized.

show full post on front page

Dangerous Moron Open Thread: Brad Parscale Has Been Fed A New ‘Idea’Post + Comments (101)

This Will End Well

by Tom Levenson|  March 5, 20183:01 pm| 294 Comments

This post is in: Goddamned Traitors, Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Trump Crime Cartel, Trump-Russia, I wish a motherfucker would!, Somewhere a Village is Missing its Idiot

Via The Washington Post we learn that former Trump aide and Mueller invitee will not go gently into that dark grand jury room:

Former Trump aide Sam Nunberg said Monday that he has been subpoenaed to appear in front of a federal grand jury investigating Russia’s interference in the 2016 but that he will refuse to go….

 

This is the subpoena folks have been talking about over the weekend:

Among those the subpoena requests information about are departing White House communications director Hope Hicks, former White House strategist Stephen K. Bannon, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski and adviser Roger Stone.

Nunberg is deeply offended by the idea (a) that he should comply with a federal subpoena, or that anyone would think Donald Trump and the Russians had anything to do with one another.  On the one hand, he has a point:

“The Russians and Trump did not collude,” Nunberg said. “Putin is too smart to collude with Donald Trump.”

On the other, he’s kinda saying “trust me” when, if I may be so bold, I don’t.

In  any event, Nunberg is in full “Hell No I Won’t Go” mode, and that, I have to believe, won’t end well.

Nunberg said he does not plan to comply with the subpoena, including either testimony or providing documents.

“Let him arrest me,” Nunberg said. “Mr. Mueller should understand I am not going in on Friday.”

Here’s my question: do you think orange is his color?

Special Snowflakes Are Special open thread.

Image: Francisco de Goya, A Prison Scene, either 1810-14 or 1793-4.

This Will End WellPost + Comments (294)

Even a Blind Pig Finds an Ear of Corn Once in a While

by @heymistermix.com|  January 16, 20188:33 pm| 12 Comments

This post is in: I wish a motherfucker would!

Andrew Cuomo, king of the blind pigs:

In response, Cuomo said his proposal, the “New York State Taxpayer Protection Act,” would eliminate the state income tax on wage earners. Instead, the state would levy a wage tax on the employer. By doing so, the tax burden would shift from workers — who face new limits on their ability to deduct state income taxes — to employers, who could still take full deductions for such payroll taxes. The legislation would spell out which kinds of companies would be eligible for this treatment.

“It may actually reduce the liability because it may bring the worker down to a lower income bracket,” Cuomo said.

The plan would apply only to wage earners. For other sources of income — including investment gains — the state would continue to run its personal income tax system, Cuomo said. The state Department of Taxation will spell out more details Wednesday, he said.
[…] The governor also proposed deferring tax credits for companies that receive $2 million or more in credits for one year, which would raise $300 million in state revenue, he said. The federal tax changes — which cut the corporate tax rate to 21 percent from 35 percent — will more than make up for that change, he said.

“They weren’t expecting the tax cut; they got the tax cut,” Cuomo said. “It’ll more than offset the deferral of our credits.”

Who knows if this will work and, really, who cares. To me, the interesting fact is that the current Republican Congress brings out the best in the worst. I don’t understand the details of this baroque proposal, but the basic idea is that Cuomo’s plan will try to keep W-2 workers from getting shafted by Trump’s tax proposal. Everyone else – by which I mean the dwindling Republican base in New York – will still get fucked. There’s many a slip twixt cup and lip, but so far, I like what I’m hearing from Albany.

Unlike California, New York’s Republicans have a lot more power than they should, and Cuomo aids and abets them for a variety of strange reasons. But when it comes down to something as key as taxes, even a sleeping dolt like Cuomo wakes up and does the right thing.

Even a Blind Pig Finds an Ear of Corn Once in a WhilePost + Comments (12)

We’re sacred and bound to suffer this heatwave

by DougJ|  October 31, 201710:56 am| 159 Comments

This post is in: Assholes, I wish a motherfucker would!

This is a scary time politically. Trump may fire Mueller and if he does, it’s unlikely that Republicans in Congress will do anything about it. I think this would hurt Republicans a lot politically, but it would also be a major setback for the rule of law, and that would be bad. So I half wish a motherfucker would fire Mueller and half wish a motherfucker wouldn’t.

The best thing would be is if Republicans were scared out of blindly backing Trump by brutal electoral realities. A lot of places have odd-year local elections coming up a week from Tuesday. If you have one, please vote in it. Vote Democrat down the line even if your local Democrats are awful. I don’t normally recommend this, to the contrary I think party politics are very different at the local level, but in this case, we need as much evidence as possible of a looming Democratic tidal wave to send a message to Republicans in Congress.

Giving money to Dems running for federal races helps too. You can donate here to a fund that is distributed equally to the eventual Democratic nominee in House districts currently held by Republicans.

Goal Thermometer

And you know what would really scare Republicans? A victory for Doug Jones in Alabama. You can give him money here.

Goal Thermometer

We’re sacred and bound to suffer this heatwavePost + Comments (159)

Late-Night Speculation Open Thread

by Anne Laurie|  October 30, 20171:51 am| 35 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Open Threads, Republicans in Disarray!, Russiagate, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, I wish a motherfucker would!, Into the weeds

Color me impressed that its the night before the indictments are allegedly going to hit and we still don’t know anything.

— Bradley P. Moss, Esq (@BradMossEsq) October 30, 2017

I hate to make it harder for you, but just so you know, Bureau SOP would be an early morning (600 am-ish) arrest. So don’t oversleep. https://t.co/zDbRnZOKbA

— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) October 30, 2017

Sleep, people. We don’t ever know for sure that it’s happening. We don’t know who. We don’t know where. Get some rest!

— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) October 30, 2017

.

My personal favorite rumor is that Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III will be the first target, on the grounds there’s no way he can claim he had no idea colluding with a foreign government to steal an election just might be against the law. As a devout Cynic, I’m prepared for the morning’s news to be anything from “nothingburger” to “opening the door to my worst fears”… but maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised!

If @realDonaldTrump were privately urging Jeff Sessions to "do something" about Hillary Clinton, it would feel like a huge story…

— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) October 29, 2017

Trump's lawyers are scrambling to figure out what is going on and who might be indicted https://t.co/BsIBneSILB

— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) October 28, 2017

Like Reservoir Dogs but with the entire cast of Minions. https://t.co/fKbfcCpZs9

— Zedward Tweeterhands (@ZeddRebel) October 29, 2017

Susan Hennessey: Seven Frequently Asked Mueller Indictment Questions for Which We Don’t Have the Answers https://t.co/tpIXZ3HPmt

— Lawfare (@lawfareblog) October 28, 2017

show full post on front page

Late-Night Speculation Open ThreadPost + Comments (35)

Saturday Evening Open Thread: Sucker Bets

by Anne Laurie|  September 30, 20178:25 pm| 263 Comments

This post is in: Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Trump Crime Cartel, Assholes, I wish a motherfucker would!

The next Trump Cabinet scandal will involve ___________ blowing taxpayer money on a ______________.

— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) September 29, 2017


.

If Young Jared doesn’t beat them to the front page…

The story lives! It LIVES! https://t.co/7WAMM0Xu7W

— Schooley (@Rschooley) September 29, 2017

Saturday Evening Open Thread: Sucker BetsPost + Comments (263)

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 9
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - lashonharangue - Along the Zambezi River [2 of 2] 8
Image by lashonharangue (7/8/25)

World Central Kitchen

Donate

Recent Comments

  • Archon on Wisconsin Is A Reminder of Why We Should Never Give up (Jul 8, 2025 @ 8:33pm)
  • WaterGirl on Wisconsin Is A Reminder of Why We Should Never Give up (Jul 8, 2025 @ 8:31pm)
  • ThresherK on Sportsball Open Thread: Suprise! FIFA Says It Can Work With Don TACO (Jul 8, 2025 @ 8:28pm)
  • Ruckus on Sharing Is Caring Open Thread: Calls to Action (Jul 8, 2025 @ 8:28pm)
  • Geminid on Sportsball Open Thread: Suprise! FIFA Says It Can Work With Don TACO (Jul 8, 2025 @ 8:24pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Feeling Defeated?  If We Give Up, It's Game Over

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc