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Archives for October 2012
“Have You All Lost Your Goddamn Minds?”
Some pre-debate reading from Sad Bastard Bar:
Liberals, you need to get your goddamn shit together. The President lost a debate. He didn’t lose Texas. For four years, this President has faced off one of the most obstructionist parties in modern American political history. He did this in the center of an economic collapse. He has delivered on too many promises to count, even in the dead heat of this. He’s been running ahead in an election where the opposition was fairly incompetent, where the leading opposition candidate told half the country to go fuck themselves with a stolen rusty tire iron. He has one debate where the opposition is competent, and that’s it. You’re done. You have bad polling days, and you’re done. Let’s just call off the election and use that time to apply for foreign passports. I mean, holy shit, what a bunch of spineless bastards you turned out to be.
I’ve spent the last few days talking to you motherfuckers, and I have several questions, beginning with: did you motherfuckers watch the same debate as me? Cause for the last few days, I’ve heard people saying ‘why didn’t he point out that Romney was lying?’ He did. ‘Why didn’t he tie the economy to education or healthcare?’ He did. He made much of the same case for his Presidency as did Bill Clinton. He just didn’t do it with the bullshit flourish that is Clinton’s specialty. But shit, for the last four years, he hasn’t done the flourish. He’s been tired almost every day. He’s been tired at every press conference. He’s been tired at every speech and every state of the union with the exception of a handful of incidents. And all of a sudden, you’re surprised he comes off tired? Fuck yes, he’s tired. For four years, for four years while you were antsy that he was playing the adult in the room, while you thought he was being too nice, he fought daily for every reform at every impasse. Bill Clinton, for all his talents, didn’t do what Barack Obama did. Not for the uninsured. Not for the poor. Not for college students. Not for women. Not for the children of illegal immigrants. Not in a recession. This President has wound down two wars. He gave the kill order for Osama Bin Laden. He has promoted genuine efforts at democracy in the middle east, in a region that is in the middle of a revolution that came under his watch. While everything he does gets fucked daily by the tidal wave of shithead that is the Republican Party, the Israeli Prime Minister, the European economy, probably the whole of the Middle East, some douchebags with Youtube accounts and the state of Arizona, we ask if his heart is in it? Really? If he really wants to be President? For four years, we sat at his left flank just pissing and moaning while he delivered what none of his predecessors could. He did this against a party that is objectively crazy. And now, one debate, and the question is, is the President’s heart in it?
What happened to chess? Yeah, fuck chess, we had a few bad poll days, time to go beat our own brains in with an ice pick. You know what? Fuck the President’s heart. I know his heart’s in it because while you and I have been fucking around amongst ourselves, bullshitting into the ether as to what it would mean for the campaign if Obama came off like an angry black man for a second, he’s been there bleeding for us and our progressive policies every goddamn day. You know whose heart isn’t in it? You know who needs to take the blame right now? You know who is letting everybody down? We are. We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for, and we surely are a huge pile of superstitious assholes. For four years, this President has made good on his promises even with the shit-storm that has become the political process in America. And he deserves, if not our support, then our resolve. So stop fucking panicking because you had a bad poll day. You know how many bad poll days the President has had? You might know better than he does, because he’s been too busy trying to keep Iran and Israel from becoming the dust and ash filled lands formerly known as Iran and Israel. So, for fuck’s sake, get your shit together. This is our President. He needs us. He needs our support. He needs our resolve. He needs us to beat Mitt Romney, because that asshole, despite what he said in the debate, would do exactly the damage that George Bush did, and we literally can’t afford that.
Open Thread or whatever.
“Have You All Lost Your Goddamn Minds?”Post + Comments (201)
Tuesday Evening Open Thread: No Getting Away from It
(Drew Sheneman via GoComics.com)
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Per the invaluable Mr. Charles P. Pierce:
… [I]n my goofy optimistic way, I am clinging to the town-hall format as my last hope that anything resembling something new and interesting will break through the din of a campaign aimed almost completely at the twelve undecided voters left in America. (The “ordinary voters” selected to participate on Tuesday evening are all “undecided voters” chosen by Gallup. All due respect to their honesty, and to Gallup’s due diligence, but that data indicate that, given the fact that they need enough people to fill up a ninety-minute debate, some of those people lied their asses off to get the gig.) It is the last stand for spontaneity, the last possibility of a human moment before both candidates climb back into their bubbles and bounce across the landscape the way that white blob on The Prisoner used to do it. It will be the last chance for flesh and blood before the election roars to its inevitable conclusion as a bloodbath of decimal points…
It’s a thin reed, I know. The people asking the questions at Hofstra University have been poked and prodded and vetted and, for all I know, fed tranquilizers, so that nothing will disturb the peaceful and blessed “centrism” and “balance” for which the organizers strive to the exclusion of all that nasty human unpredictability that can get people so damned worked up. The problem, of course, is that we should all want these people to be worked up. The country is still a very tough room for far too many people. Living in America has become hard, grinding work, not altogether because of factors beyond out control, but also because of what we have let our politics become. People should be angry. People should be grim. If, as always happens, somebody comes up with a genuine tale of sorrow and woe, the candidates should be allowed to emphasize for one entire minute and then, dammit, they should be expected either to tell this person specifically how their policies would alleviate the person’s situation, or why that person is simply going to have to suck it up while we get things in order for the bond traders.
Also, here’s a Sesame Street meme that actually adds something to the general discussion:
(Mike Thompson via GoComics.com)
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Click on the cartoonist’s name, which will take you to his GoComics page, where you can click on the magnifying-glass icon for a larger, more readable version.
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Apart from the Hofstra town hall, what’s on the agenda for the evening?
Tuesday Evening Open Thread: No Getting Away from ItPost + Comments (153)
Roger Rivard’s ‘Some Girls Rape Easy’ Comment Was Directed at 14-Year-Old Rape Victim
When Roger Rivard relayed his father’s advice about how “some girls rape easy,” Rivard was responding to questions from a reporter about a specific case in his district involving a 14 year old girl who, by even Todd Akin’s standards, was legitimately raped.
[read full post at ABLC]
US v. Hamdan Military Commission Conviction Overturned by Conservative DC Circuit
Hamdan, you may recall, was Osama Bin Laden’s driver and cook, and as such was believed to have lots of insider information regarding the terror chief’s plans. He was convicted of Material Support to Terrorists, which was not a crime under US law at the time he engaged in the acts for which he was convicted.
In a unanimous opinion:
“Because we read the Military Commissions Act not to sanction retroactive punishment for new crimes, and because material support for terrorism was not a pre-existing war crime under 10 U.S.C. § 821, Hamdan’s conviction for material support for terrorism cannot stand. We reverse the decision of the Court of Military Commission Review and direct that Hamdan’s conviction for material support for terrorism be vacated.”
Hamdan had already served the vast majority of the 66 months to which he was originally sentenced. He was deported to Yemen, from where he continued his legal fight that culminated in today’s decision.
I have no information as to whether or not the Government will seek certoriari at the US Supreme Court. This particular ruling has been described as “a lightning bolt at the heart of the military commissions system” by a military defense attorney of my acquaintance.
In other Military Commissions news, the tribunal resumed hearings on Khalid Sheik Mohammed and four charged co-conspirators.
Your Cheatin’ Heart
Should the margin of victory for either side end up being one state again, we’re going to need to hose down the streets. Fast.
PPP polls over the weekend found:
-In Ohio 62% of Republicans think Democrats will engage in voter fraud to make sure that Barack Obama wins. 50% of the Democrats think that the GOP will engage in voter fraud to ensure a Romney victory.
-In Florida 60% of Republicans think Democrats will engage in voter fraud to make sure that Barack Obama wins. 55% of the Democrats think that the GOP will engage in voter fraud to ensure a Romney victory.
-In North Carolina 69% of Republicans think Democrats will engage in voter fraud to make sure that Barack Obama wins. 51% of the Democrats think that the GOP will engage in voter fraud to ensure a Romney victory.
Also, a preemptive “fuck Nino Scalia” is in order.
Get the Details
Sometimes campaigns do generally amusing and humorous things. This is one of those times. In one simple page of html, the DNC has done what the entire press has failed to do this entire election.