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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We are learning that “working class” means “white” for way too many people.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Their shamelessness is their super power.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Bark louder, little dog.

Text STOP to opt out of updates on war plans.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Is trump is trying to break black America over his knee? signs point to ‘yes’.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

Books are my comfort food!

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

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You are here: Home / Archives for 2014

Archives for 2014

Thursday Evening Open Thread: #RomanceFAIL

by Anne Laurie|  January 9, 20147:55 pm| 196 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement

no bangable parts skin horse
(Skin Horse via GoComics.com)

Another reason to be glad I’m old, and partnered up, and yet: hilarious. Alli Reed at Cracked decides to troll OkCupid (if that isn’t redundant)…

As a child of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness — dating — to my laptop instead. I’ve been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn’t even heard of them before, and I’m from the Internet.

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

I did not accomplish my goal…

***********
Let us be glad for the small blessings, such as that you’ve never been so desperate as to contact ‘aaroncarterfan’. (Unless, well… I’m so sorry, dude… )

Apart from mocking the clueless (same as every night, Pinkie!) what’s on the agenda for the evening?

Thursday Evening Open Thread: #RomanceFAILPost + Comments (196)

Petfinder Fail

by John Cole|  January 9, 20147:28 pm| 83 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging

It’s like they want to euthanize this poor guy:

zlednek

There was no fucking effort in that at all. There is a ton of farmland around Apollo, Pa. How about this:

“Rugged mouser looking for barn work. Capable of taking care of self with minimal food and attention, and a rugged Maine Coon who can handle inclement weather.”

Not to mention, you can rehabilitate some ferals.

BTW- I may need an intervention. I only found that bio because I was searching petfinder for Maine Coons in the region.

Petfinder FailPost + Comments (83)

No One Feels Sorry For Chris Christie

by Elon James White|  January 9, 20145:41 pm| 82 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, This Week In Blackness

Governor Chris Christie is embarrassed and humiliated about this whole Fort Lee/George Washington Bridge scandal. It’s nice that he finally admitted it.

But it’s hard to give someone the benefit of the doubt when, well…you’re a dick. A huge arrogant, bullying dick. Like we’re talking the ruling Dicktator of Dickistan kind of dick.

On today’s show #TeamBlackness discusses how Christie’s handling of this scandal will hurt and possibly help him. Also on today’s #TWiBRadio: the aging powers of racism (27:09) whether it’s legal to take away a two year old for cursing on camera (55:06), atomic wedgies, and we read reviews for Feedback Thursdays.

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The Morning Crew discusses Chris Christie’s dicey situation (17:40), the tale of the Iron Casket (26:20), Obama’s very close to freeing Mumia (31:09), and why Washington DC isn’t a state yet (39:43).

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No One Feels Sorry For Chris ChristiePost + Comments (82)

You Were There…

by Betty Cracker|  January 9, 20145:25 pm| 41 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Politics, Security Theatre, Sweet Fancy Moses!

News item:

(Reuters) – President Barack Obama invited German Chancellor Angela Merkel to visit Washington this year, the White House said on Wednesday in a brief statement about a phone conversation between the two leaders.

The visit would give Obama a chance to make amends after revelations that the U.S. National Security Agency had been monitoring Merkel’s cellphone.

Here’s how it went down:

obama1

merkel1

Angela Merkel phone

obama2

merkel2b

obama3

merkel3

obama4

Well, maybe that’s how it went. The end.

You Were There…Post + Comments (41)

Open Thread

by Tim F|  January 9, 20144:19 pm| 72 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

For the first time in maybe ever every American no matter how dumb or reckless has the choice to buy affordable health insurance. To celebrate let’s enjoy the Year in Parkour.

Talk about whatever.

Open ThreadPost + Comments (72)

Gabby Giffords Is A Genuine Bad-Arse

by Anne Laurie|  January 9, 20144:18 pm| 20 Comments

This post is in: Because of wow., Don't Mourn, Organize, Proud to Be A Democrat, Rare Sincerity


Via the Washington Post. Apparently skydiving was one of the pleasures it was assumed Ms. Giffords would never again enjoy. Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane may not be my idea of a good time, but kudos to her for not letting a sadsack with a gun stop her. Yesterday, in the NYTimes:

…[T]hree years ago, dispatched to an almost certain death by an assassin’s bullet, I was allowed the opportunity for a new life. I had planned to spend my 40s continuing my public service and starting a family. I thought that by fighting for the people I cared about and loving those close to me, I could leave the world a better place. And that would be enough.

Instead, I’ve spent the past three years learning how to talk again, how to walk again. I had to learn to sign my name with my left hand. It’s gritty, painful, frustrating work, every day. Rehab is endlessly repetitive. And it’s never easy, because once you’ve mastered some movement or action or word, no matter how small, you move on to the next. You never rest.

I asked myself, if simply completing a normal day requires so much work, how would I ever be able to fulfill a larger purpose? The killing of children at the school in Sandy Hook a little over a year ago gave me my answer. It shocked me, it motivated me, and frankly, it showed me a path. After that day, my husband and I pledged to make it our mission to change laws and reduce gun violence in a way that was consistent with our moderate beliefs and our identities as proud gun owners. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, that special interests were arrayed against us, that congressional dysfunction was an enemy…

We will seize on consensus where it exists, on solutions big or small. We will fight for every inch, because that means saving lives. I’ve seen grit overcome paralysis. My resolution today is that Congress achieve the same. How? Step by step: Enhance enforcement by passing a law making gun trafficking a serious crime with stiff penalties. Make it illegal for all stalkers and all domestic abusers to buy guns. Extend mental health resources into schools and communities, so the dangerously mentally ill find it easier to receive treatment than to buy firearms. And even as we lay the groundwork for expanding background checks, pass strong incentives for states to ensure the background-check system contains the records of the most dangerous and violent among us…

Sure, it’ll never give Mark Halperin a glow in his tire-swing neurons (unlike watching a Repub yell at teachers or throw his subordinates under the bus), but who would you rather have on your side?

Gabby Giffords Is A <em>Genuine</em> Bad-ArsePost + Comments (20)

Bad day getting worse

by Tim F|  January 9, 20141:44 pm| 352 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

The moment his press conference finished, Christie’s former man at the Port Authority, David Wildstein, just got hauled in front of a committee of the New Jersey Assembly. He tried to take the 5th Amendment. Only the Assembly hearing is not a judicial court so you can’t do that.

Will Wildstein change his strategy or will they haul him off for contempt? Watch live and find out.

***Update***

Correction: Wildstein can take the fifth, but if they offer him immunity then he has to testify. At least as I understand it.

Bad day getting worsePost + Comments (352)

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