Back at 1:30, but technically 4:30 since I am still on Eastern time. Walked around, did some people watching, spent 40 bucks gambling, and whatnot. Saw a lot of people drinking way too much and spending way too much money at the tables.
Ended up thinking about how Lily was coping without me- the others probably don’t even notice or care. Well, maybe Steve. He probably misses out nightly quality time when he sits on my lap for an hour right before I go to bed after Thurston is asleep.
Realized tonight that a lot of the things I thought I really liked and had fun doing I didn’t really enjoy that much at all. Apparently I enjoyed DRINKING and then doing those things just because they were socially appropriate to do while drinking. Those activities while sober, ehh, not that much fun, really. I guess the reason I like to stay at home and mess around on the computer and read and sit with the dogs and play computer games and chat with people online is because I actually like to do those things. Imagine that. Demented and sad, but social.
I’m a judgmental reformed drunk, and I know that and keep it to myself because it’s pointless saying something to drunks about how much they are drinking. They know how much they are drinking and aren’t going to quit until they are damned well good and ready or because their body can’t take it anymore, and maybe even then they won’t. Not to mention, it’s none of my fucking business and maybe this really is all they have, and that’s just too fucking sad to even think about but for a moment.
Regardless, I judge in silence, mainly because I think I see what people who haven’t been in my shoes don’t see because they haven’t been there. The drink clutched too close, the extra drink always on the way before they’ve even become acquainted with the current one… Talk to a reformed heroin addict, and they’ll tell you all the places you can buy heroin that are right there on the corner, you’ve just never seen it because you weren’t looking for it. It hides in plain sight.
And hey, I’m all for people exercising their right to shitty decisions, but I’ll punch the next person I hear bitching about smoking bans in bars and restaurants back home. Going to have to fucking shower and put everything I wore tonight in a plastic bag until I can get them to a laundry machine.
I’m excited for breakfast. I’m going to sleep in until 8:30 or so (which is 11:30 East Coast time!) and soak in the hot tub, then head out and find a good mexican restaurant and have some huevos rancheros or maybe some ceviche if I can find it. Blue Man Group tomorrow night.
You all be good to yourselves.
There Was Madness In Any Direction, At Any HourPost + Comments (51)