As I write this, Cheeto Benito and the worst thing to come out of South Africa this side of Oscar Pistorius, Elon Musk, are having a discussion on youtube because Elon’s 44 billion dollar political contribution that we know as Twitter but he calls X has once again shit the bed. The exact same thing that happened to Ron DeSantis last year. And I am not sure why anyone is surprised, because anyone who has used it could have told you that twitter has not improved over the past year. Basically Jack Dorsey is the car dealer who sold someone a Ferrari and then watched them fishtail out of the car lot and wreck into a telephone pole.
In other news, I spent the day driving feral cats to and back from the vet. There were a few bladder incidents, but I had tarps and pee pads down, and all in all they were remarkably well behaved despite being FERAL AS FUCK. Probably terrified.
I realized on the ride home that this is essentially the equivalent of an alien abduction for these cats. I can see it now- a bunch of old toms belly up at the bar:
Cletus the thicc orange boy– “Did I ever tell you about that time in 2024? I was minding my own business and I smell delicious rotisserie chicken, and Frank you know I love chicken.”
Frank, the tabby– “Don’t we all, Cletus, don’t we all.”
Cletus– “So I looked over and saw this chicken over there on a plate like a person just left it there, I walked tover to it and the next thing I know I hear this loud metal slamming sound and I am trapped in a cage. Whoever it was covered the crate up in a sheet so I couldn’t see nothing, and the next thing I know I am in this bright white room all lit up so I couldn’t even see. Next thing I remember, I was real woozy, the cage was opening up like nothing had ever happened, and my private parts were hurting like the dickens.”
Sam the Siamese at another table– “Oh god is Cletus going on about his supposed alien abduction again.”
Cletus– “Shut it Sam with God as my witness it happened.’
Serena, the svelte bombay waitress as she is walking by– “Sam he is telling the truth the same thing happened to me except it was tuna not chicken and my private parts hurt too like they probed me vaginally. And you know what? I haven’t gone into heat nor had a litter sense. Aliens made me barren.”
Anne Laurie talked about it earlier, but in all seriousness, I would fucking love it if we could have European style elections here. Candidates have to declare by 1 May, primaries from 1 June to 15 July, conventions in August, and election in November. That would be plenty of time.
And in regards to Walz’s 8 tracks, can you imagine trying to explain to digital kids how magnetic tapes using chromium oxide works?
Thats it for me. I’m tired.





