The Horrors

You’ve all heard the saying about grand juries — you could get them to indict a ham sandwich. Well, grand juries in LA seem to not be taking the bait when it comes to prosecuting people protesting ICE raids and kidnappings. According to the LA Times:

Although [Trump-appointed U.S. Attorney Bill Essayli’s] office filed felony cases against at least 38 people for alleged misconduct that either took place during last month’s protests or near the sites of immigration raids, many have been dismissed or reduced to misdemeanor charges.

In total, he has secured only seven indictments, which usually need to be obtained no later than 21 days after the filing of a criminal complaint. Three other cases have been resolved via plea deal, records show.

The three officials who spoke to The Times on condition of anonymity said prosecutors have struggled to get several protest-related cases past grand juries, which need only to find probable cause that a crime has been committed in order to move forward. That is a much lower bar than the “beyond a reasonable doubt” standard required for a criminal conviction.

Five cases have been dismissed without prejudice — meaning they could be refiled — and records show nine have been filed as misdemeanors, which do not require a grand jury indictment to proceed. In some cases, prosecutors reduced charges against defendants to misdemeanors after repeatedly falling short at the grand jury stage, according to the three officials….

Legal experts said Essayli’s low number of indictments raised concerns about the strength of the cases he is filing.

Carley Palmer, a former federal prosecutor in L.A. who is now a partner at Halpern May Ybarra Gelberg, said the grand jury’s repeated rejection of cases was “a strong indication that the priorities of the prosecutor’s office are out of sync with the priorities of the general community.”

Huh, no kidding. I wonder if future jury members in other communities may be similarly inclined, given the revelations about the online company various ICE goons in suits keep. Here’s an excerpt from a February story from the Texas Observer, “ICE Prosecutor in Dallas Runs White Supremacist X Account,” that may have passed you by at the time:

Since GlomarResponder was first created in 2012, the account has posted hateful, xenophobic, and pro-fascist content. “America is a White nation, founded by Whites. … Our country should favor us,” GlomarResponder wrote last month. “All blacks are foreign to my people, dumb fuck,” the account posted in September of last year. “Freedom of association hasn’t existed in this country since 1964 at the absolute latest,” GlomarResponder wrote four months prior, further clarifying the post was referring to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 in a reply to a comment. “I’m not a commie, I’m a fascist,” GlomarResponder posted a couple weeks later. “Fascists solve communist problems. Get your insults right, retard.”

In August, GlomarResponder posted: “‘Migrants’ are all criminals.” Two months later, GlomarResponder shared an image that reads: “It is our holy duty to guard against the foreign hordes.”

There’s a lot more in that vein, but I’ll spare you. (Also, GlomarResponder, you dipshit, commies very famously solved the fascist problem during WWII. Christ.)

Given that ICE has been provided with an absolute avalanche of cash to act out the fantasies of people like Essayli and GlomarResponder (a/k/a James Rodden), they may yet find a way to circumvent grand juries. But I’m glad that they’re throwing a little sand in the gears in the meantime.

“In the matter of Bondi vs. Ham Sandwich, we the jury find the defendant not guilty on all counts.”

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— Bill Grueskin (@bgrueskin.bsky.social) July 24, 2025 at 2:54 AM

Ugh. Fuck everything. Open thread.

Quick, Someone Make a Ham SandwichPost + Comments (12)