Here’s ours:
I stashed some Twix for myself and put some Crunch bars aside for the mister. Got candy?
Open thread.
Florida woman, still rocking a punk rock ethos in the 2020s, which is kind of sad. Betty Cracker has been a Balloon Juice writer since 2012.
by Betty Cracker| 252 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
Here’s ours:
I stashed some Twix for myself and put some Crunch bars aside for the mister. Got candy?
Open thread.
This post is in: Open Threads
It all comes down to who has the driest wings.
Kinda rooting for KC but won’t be heartbroken if SF wins. Feel free to discuss whatever!
This post is in: Domestic Politics, Open Threads
This oldie but goody goes out to valued commenter Dance Around in Your Bones, who reminded me of it the other day:
GoPro update: I may have DaisyCam footage this evening to share. But maybe not.
Random question: I need a new roof. I’ve arranged three estimates. Is that enough? I don’t know anyone who has had a roof put on who is happy with the price or the construction process. We’re preparing to be hosed.
Open thread.
This post is in: Domestic Politics, Open Threads
In this space, I was going to post a hilarious video my daughter made by strapping a GoPro camera onto one of the dogs and letting her (the dog) run amok in the yard. You’d see terrified lizards fleeing, alarmed chickens retreating from the fence, a close-up of the other dog’s butt and more spills, thrills and chills than a Hollywood epic.
But first, the GoPro crashed my daughter’s laptop, and then it crashed mine. We didn’t think to film the curses, screaming and hair-pulling that ensued. And all you get is this lousy open thread. Sorry.
by Betty Cracker| 186 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
by Betty Cracker| 123 Comments
This post is in: Election 2008, Election 2010, Election 2014, Election 2016, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality, Torture, Assholes, General Stupidity, Our Failed Media Experiment, Our Failed Political Establishment, Shitheads, Sociopaths, The Dirty F-ing Hippies Were Right, The Wingularity
As Election Day nears, the battle for King Shit of Turd Mountain, i.e., the contest between Charlie Crist and Rick Scott for governor of Florida, has produced a shit-storm of negative advertising. Commercial after commercial projects images of the combatants in sinister poses and evil lighting, accompanied by strained voiceover accounts of their misdeeds in office.
Obviously, the Crist Photoshop team has the cushier job: I don’t think there’s a photo in existence of Rick Scott where he doesn’t look like an alien creature from a reptile off-world come to foreclose an orphanage and grind the inhabitants into feed-paste.
But yesterday, there was an ad I hadn’t seen before featuring former Governor Jeb Bush excoriating former ally Charlie Crist as a career politician only interested in personal aggrandizement. The stones. The fucking stones on those Bushes.
Bush 2016: The Restoration is apparently a thing. Here’s a puke-inducing paragraph from a NYT article published yesterday about the alleged upswing in Jeb Bush’s political prospects:
Just six years ago, at the end of the last tumultuous Bush presidency, this would have been all but unthinkable. But President Obama’s troubles, the internal divisions of the Republican Party, a newfound nostalgia for the first Bush presidency and a modest softening of views about the second have changed the dynamics enough to make plausible another Bush candidacy. And while Jeb Bush wants to run as his own man, invariably this is a family with something to prove.
Unpacking that paragraph is like opening a rancid diaper pail, but let’s brace ourselves and give it a go: “President Obama’s troubles?” Yes, he has them, mostly traceable to Stately Bush Manor and exacerbated by the Bush-aligned vandals in Congress.
“Internal divisions of the Republican Party?” Oh, you mean that GOP rebranding campaign gone awry in which the Republican Party nominated scads of pekoe-huffing troglodytes who lost winnable races and turned the GOP presidential primary into a crackpot bake-off?
“Newfound nostalgia for the first Bush presidency and a modest softening of views about the second?” Bush I is a doddering old fart who occasionally weeps with shame in public over his fuck-up namesake. He will be forever overshadowed by the half-wit he served as VP, and his son empowered a cabal of sociopaths to complete the cycle of destruction Poppy’s boss set into motion.
And now we’re seriously being asked to countenance another Bush run at 1600 Pennsylvania? Just shoot me now. (You can get away with it here in Florida — thanks to Jeb’s partnership with the NRA.) I can’t be objective because I utterly despise them all. But is there really a Bush restoration movement afoot outside of the Bushies, their minions and political columnists? Y’all help me out here: I haven’t seen any evidence of it.
God, that article. “This is a family with something to prove?” Fuck them. “The Bushes, Led by W., Rally to Make Jeb ’45’?” From the current generation until the sun goes supernova and vaporizes this planet, fuck the Bushes, and fuck the putrid media hacks who enable them by framing the ambitions of that clan of psychotic leeches as if writing a human interest piece on a sports dynasty.
When the Obama administration decided not to pursue its vile predecessors for their ghastly war crimes and corruption, I understood the rationale, even if I didn’t agree with it entirely. It would have paralyzed the government in the midst of a cascading global crisis.
But the question of justice denied aside, this spectacle of the Bush family rehab alone is evidence that the dirty fucking hippies were right: We should have driven a stake through the fat black heart of that bunch when we had the chance.
This post is in: Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity, Our Failed Media Experiment
Itinerant Rove-stenographer Ron Fournier, who once emitted a squid cloud of butt-hurt so opaque that Glenn Greenwald called him out for being a petulant crybaby, has written scads of tiresome columns earnestly urging Obama to be more leader-y. But his latest is the Platonic Ideal of a Fournier column, and the header captures the tone perfectly:
If Obama would just “fire himself” — literally or figuratively, doesn’t matter — America would be saved! I don’t pretend to be an objective observer, but isn’t Fournier being a little premature here?
Did Fournier urge George W. Bush to self-impeach after he committed the worst foreign policy blunder in generations, passively watched an American city drown from Air Force One, presided over a global financial meltdown and saw his support shrink to 27%? Without Googling it, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess “no.”
Fournier suggests that Obama bring back Leon Panetta(!) and pull in some exec from Starbucks, a pair of Republican operatives and assorted others to right the ship. Check out this passage for a clinic on how to be a presumptuous, self-important prick:
Two notes: First, none of these potential replacements knew I was dropping their names; indeed, most of them are probably horrified by the thought of leaving more-comfortable jobs. Second, nobody from the White House contributed candidates for this column.
Yeah, I’m sure the West Wing and Wall Street were all abuzz over Fournier’s column this morning. Christ on a Triscuit, what a self-aggrandizing hack.