[I think there’s a clause in my Balloon Juice contract about pet photos. This one depicts my dog Patsy, who harbors ambitions to become a biped. She loves to belly up to our backyard tiki bar.
You can see the whites of her eyes because she’s scanning the surface of the bar for pretzels without turning her head far enough to lose her balance. Sadly, there were no pretzels. We now return to our regularly scheduled post, already in progress.]
I have a 13-year-old daughter, which is why I don’t scare easily. She can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she’s a good person in all the important ways. I’m proud of her and also relieved that I’ve thus far avoided the massive karmic blowback my own mother is gleefully awaiting in compensation for the gigantic pain in the ass I gave her. (Knock wood — and yes, I know, I know: Give her time!)
Anyhoo, as many teens do, Young Miss Cracker seeks to assert her originality by emulating the fashion sense and hairstyles of celebrities. This month, it appears to be Rooney Mara in the title role of the film Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Of course, Young Miss has never actually seen that film, and I draw the line at allowing her to get real tattoos or piercings or to wear clothing emblazoned with the word “fuck.”