Yeah, I guess we will. pic.twitter.com/6zvFelG0nZ
— Bob Schooley (@Rschooley) December 7, 2015
Hey, it’s science: “This occurs because the automatic nervous system decreases salivary flow during times of stress, which of course dries out the mucous membranes of the mouth.”
So the conventional wisdom seems to that Marco Rubio — who came up with that line about “every old person’s idea of a young person”? — is now the GOP Establishment’s candidate of choice. Since JEB! can’t rise above a fistful of polling digits, Rubio’s the young dude who’ll distract fickle voters from the Trump travelling circus and the revival tents of Trump’s mini-Me Ted Cruz, before outlasting old lady Clinton in the general-election marathon. And if Rubio is flavor-of-week, be assured that Politico is all over the truly significant biographical details…
In May 2008, when Marco Rubio retired as Florida’s House speaker, he bid his colleagues farewell with a passionate defense of American exceptionalism. Standing on the floor in front of the speaker’s rostrum, Rubio invoked boatloads of refugees washing up on American shores, quoted John F. Kennedy and lauded political dissent.
“It’s honestly one of the greatest political speeches I’ve seen in my life,” said Republican operative Gregg Keller. “To this day, I can’t watch it without getting a lump in my throat.”
But youthful charisma wasn’t the only aspect of Rubio’s delivery that has stuck with Keller. “He’s got this ice,” recalled the veteran operative. “He’s got this water in this cup that’s got ice and it’s making weird noises.” Indeed, video of the speech shows Rubio halting mid-delivery at dramatic moments to reach down to a table in front of him and take noisy swigs from a Styrofoam cup…
… [T]he water tic has persisted and remained noticeable on the campaign trail this fall, drawing comment from those who have worked with and watched the Florida senator. Like Richard Nixon’s perspiring or John Boehner’s crying, Rubio’s need for constant hydration is a bodily quirk that impinges on his political life.
The 44-year-old senator takes care to ensure the availability of water at his public events and can be particular about how he takes it. His advance team has mandated exact requirements for the vessels he will drink out of: stemless glasses — not stemmed ones or water bottles. He reaches for it constantly during public remarks. Its absence has thrown off his delivery, and he and his campaign have acknowledged its presence by attempting to turn it into a joke. On the trail, he has even asked hecklers to time their outbursts around his breaks for it.
“Marco does have a water thing,” said one longtime Rubio associate who has been affiliated with his past campaigns. “I don’t know what it is. He says he just gets thirsty, but it’s clear it’s just a nervous tic. It’s something he just has to have around, like a security blanket or something.”…
As Rubio’s standing in the 2016 nomination fight has improved, Donald Trump has seized on the senator’s bodily functions, repeatedly calling attention both to Rubio’s drinking and to his sweating. “Rubio, I’ve never seen a young guy sweat that much. He’s drinking water, water, water,” Trump told ABC News in September. “I never saw anything like this with him, with the water.”
On Fox News, Rubio responded to the attacks, “I drink water. So what? And I only sweat when it’s hot.”
But people who have worked with Rubio said sweat has also been a distraction for him. “You hear Donald Trump make fun of him for it. But he’s onto something,” said Rubio’s longtime associate. “I don’t think Marco sweats that much more. But Marco thinks he does. He’s always wiping, wiping, wiping sweat — even if he’s not sweating. It can drive you crazy if you’re watching him closely.”…
It’s never possible to know when or if there’s any forethought to Trump’s nonstop Gish Gallop campaign, but he’s the right age to remember when every media outlet from the NYTimes to MAD Magazine was mocking 1960 candidate Dick Nixon’s on-air perspiration oubreaks.
And in modern GOP theology, Nixon is the once-promising young star who would badly damage the Repub brand, first by compromising with the DFH Democrats, and then by cutting & running from impeachment rather than destroying all available evidence and sticking with the Big Lie. It’s not that they mind being lied to; they just don’t want someone who’s going to break down when confronted with evidence that he’s lying.
I guess the question would be: Is Politico so dumb they failed to make this connection while chasing Win the Morning, or are they willing to help shiv Marco?
Frivolous Open Thread: Maybe Lying Makes Marco Thirsty?Post + Comments (124)