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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People are complicated. Love is not.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

He really is that stupid.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

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Not Normal

You are here: Home / Archives for Not Normal

Friday Night Horrorshow Open Thread: Pray for the LSU Team Members

by Anne Laurie|  January 17, 202010:24 pm| 31 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Sports, Trumpery, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, Not Normal

He just can't help himself pic.twitter.com/iwpHHQ9eng

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) January 17, 2020

Even the three big dumb white dudes bro’ing each other are gonna end up with nightmares, remembering this.

pic.twitter.com/qihuFJt6Zl

— John T. Fox (@johntfox) January 17, 2020

Everyone’s mood… pic.twitter.com/MaXv2WdfXr

— Paul (@PaulS241) January 17, 2020


I am reminded of a friend who referred to ‘That childhood moment in the car when you realize Daddy cares more about his booze than he does about your safety… ‘

Why are there only 20 players at the White House? The LSU football team roster is like 60-70 deep. Did only a third of the team wanna go?

— Topher Thomas (@TopherThomas7) January 17, 2020

Friday Night Horrorshow Open Thread: Pray for the LSU Team MembersPost + Comments (31)

Speaking of Watching the Disinformation Being Made: The Stupid Edition

by Adam L Silverman|  October 2, 201910:16 pm| 281 Comments

This post is in: America, An Unexamined Scandal, Crazification Factor, Domestic Politics, Election 2020, Open Threads, Politics, Assholes, Clown car, Clown Shoes, Not Normal, Sociopaths, Somewhere a Village is Missing its Idiot

Absolute morons Jacob “I’m Really Going to Commit a Big Boy Crime Any Day Now” Wohl and his unzipped co-conspirator Jack Burckman, fresh off failing to actually dox the Intelligence Community Whistleblower yesterday and today, have reverted to their usual modus operandi of creating sex scandals out of nothing. Having failed to actually bring down Special Counsel Mueller and Mayor Buttigieg with bogus allegations of sexual assault and impropriety have have announced their latest masterpiece. Behold:

The stupid, it burns!

The Warax asked the important question:

jack why do you do this to yourself?

— The Warax. ?? (@iAmTheWarax) October 2, 2019

It is important to remember that Jacob Wohl is the twenty-something aspiring career petty criminal who is currently facing actual real felony charges in California state court. He is also the son of one of the President’s key Jewish-American surrogates. I have been authorized on behalf of the Elders and our revered and venerated leader, the Supreme Babka, to apologize on behalf of the rest of the tribe. We are tremendously sorry about the Wohl mess.

And our own Food Goddess had the best take when I texted Burkman’s tweet too her:

If at 72 Elizabeth Warren is having a fling with a young Marine I say more power to her

Is everyone still enjoying this extra special Jewish New Year and Day’s of Awe Infrastructure Week?

Open thread!

Speaking of Watching the Disinformation Being Made: The Stupid EditionPost + Comments (281)

Not The President’s Right

by Cheryl Rofer|  August 31, 20191:11 pm| 128 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Open Threads, Not Normal

Referring to President Trump’s “rights,” as in “He has a right to declassify information,” repeats his childish and ignorant thinking and expression.

The presidency is a privilege conferred on a person by the citizens. It carries no additional rights beyond the rights of all citizens.

The President swears an oath of office.

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

By doing that, he takes on obligations to the people and Constitution of the United States. No additional rights.

All a President’s actions should be guided by those obligations.

In the latest case in which the “rights” terminology has shown up, there are certain regulations that apply. The classification regulations give the President certain authorities, not rights. Under the oath of office, these authorities are to be exercised responsibly. And the authorities are exercised under the rule of law more generally.

In particular, the President is the ultimate classification authority. The regulations specify procedures through which that authority is to be exercised. Documents are to be signed, and classification markings are to be properly canceled.

It’s hard to believe that Trump followed any of those procedures in releasing yesterday’s photo. He is very possibly violating his oath of office in releasing national security information impulsively through a tweet. He has no “right” to do that.

 

Cross-posted at Nuclear Diner

Not The President’s RightPost + Comments (128)

Not Safe For Work Delivery: Floriduh! Man Edition

by Adam L Silverman|  August 16, 20199:27 pm| 87 Comments

This post is in: Humorous, Open Threads, Floriduh Man, Not Normal, Our Failed Political Establishment

What did BettyC know and when did she know it?

It was a weird day yesterday: Escambia County Commissioner Doug Underhill receives prank box labeled 'industrial strength dildos' https://t.co/23lLwQAn31

— Jim Little (@JimWLittle) August 16, 2019

The Pensacola News Journal has all the details:

Escambia County Commissioner Doug Underhill is fuming after a box labeled “industrial strength dildos” arrived in the mail at his county office Thursday.

Underhill showed the box to reporters following the County Commission meeting on Thursday, saying it demonstrated how far the level of civility has fallen in Escambia County.

“There’s no way this is even remotely appropriate in the way that we conduct business here in Escambia County,” Underhill said while pointing to the box. “We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here. I’m a sailor, you’re not going to offend me with anything, but this kind of garbage, and this is the kind of garbage put out by the same kinds of people, the same lies, the same hate, the same anger that they bring to every single issue.”

The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

The email address belongs to a Perdido Key resident named Scott Anderson, who told the News Journal he had no idea about the box being sent to Underhill or how his email address ended up on the packing slip.

“I’m totally stunned by all of this,” Anderson said.

Anderson said he’s only interacted with Underhill a few times on the Nextdoor website over what he said was a lack of maintenance at the Perdido Key Dog Park.

“I suppose I could’ve irritated maybe an Underhill supporter,” Anderson said. “That’s the only thing I can think of.”

Despite the box appearing to be a joke, it was no laughing matter for Underhill.

Underhill regularly comments in local Facebook groups and often takes a combative tone with people with whom he disagrees.

Underhill said laughing at the antics of his dedicated critics only makes it worse because the time and energy spent on dealing with his critics is time not spent tackling issues that matter such as funding for public safety.

Underhill pointed to the meeting on Thursday as an example. On Thursday, members of Save Pensacola Beach protesting the county’s move to remove language approved by voters last year in a non-binding referendum.

During the discussion, Underhill said he compared the group and its founder Dianne Krummel to antifa, short for anti-facists, the name given to far-left protestors who often wear masks and engage in violent attacks during protest.

“Dianne, at some point you’re going to have to trade in that yellow shirt for a black mask if you keep this up,” Underhill said.

While speaking to reporters, Underhill blamed the press for feeding what he said was “radical activism” of the group and argued that the County Commission chambers should be a place of civil discussion.

When asked if his own speech, especially online, was uncivil, Underhill rejected the idea.

“I don’t think I’m uncivil online at all,” Underhill said. “I engage the adversary. The adversary is the lies, the untruths. The reality is if we as your — especially as conservative elected officials — do not push back against the spending, if we don’t push back against the corruption, if we don’t push back against the lies that are said here, then who will?”

He seems nice.

No word on when the lube is scheduled to be delivered.

Also, The Industrial Strength Dildos are my New Wave Fem Punk cover band.

Open thread!

 

Not Safe For Work Delivery: Floriduh! Man EditionPost + Comments (87)

FloridDuh! Woman: Electoral Edition

by Adam L Silverman|  August 3, 201911:40 am| 38 Comments

This post is in: America, Crazification Factor, Domestic Politics, Election 2020, Open Threads, Politics, All Too Normal, Assholes, Clown car, Clown Shoes, Floriduh Woman, General Stupidity, Not Normal, Our Failed Political Establishment, Shameless self promotion, The Wingularity

This is a little too on the nose for even Florida if you ask me.

Laura Loomer files to run against Rep. Lois Frankel. Running Loomer’s campaign: Trump’s 2016 Florida state director, Karen Giorno

FL-21 is a blue district, based in Palm Beach County, home to Trump’s winter getaway club, Mar-a-Lago pic.twitter.com/srDjzZtvu4

— Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) August 2, 2019

Loomer is originally from the Miami area, but who has lived in Arizona and New York as well, has, apparently recently moved back Florida just to run for Congress. The Democratic incumbent is Lois Frankel, who has been representing this district,  since 2017 and prior to that represented Florida as the representative from District 22, which after redistricting is now represented by Congressman Ted Deutch.  Frankel has also been the mayor of West Palm Beach, and was the minority leader in the Florida state House of Representatives.

From what I know of Loomer – deliberatively and almost shamelessly provocative, racist and bigoted, especially against Muslims, friendly with either those in the alt-right and extreme right circles playing footsie with white supremacists and neo-NAZIs or actually with white supremacists, neo-NAZIs, the men’s rights nutbars and Milo, as well as being a fantacist and a conspiracist – I think the real reason for Loomer’s run is both to suck up money through donations and to force social media platforms to let her back on. I fully expect that she is going to use her candidacy to try to force twitter, Instagram, and YouTube to let her back on and monetize those platforms because if they don’t they’re aiding her political opponent in the election. All while monetizing her election as an income stream because she doesn’t actually have any actual employment.

Open thread!

FloridDuh! Woman: Electoral EditionPost + Comments (38)

GOP Venality Open Thread: Kiddie Concentration Camps, Not Polling Well

by Anne Laurie|  June 24, 20195:55 pm| 108 Comments

This post is in: Crimes against humanity, Dolt 45, Immigration, Republican Venality, Republicans in Disarray!, Your Place Is In The Resistance, Get Mad You Sons Of Bitches, Not Normal, Seriously

I’ve never asked you for a retweet, until now. https://t.co/oBZrSHvcbi

— feminist next door (@emrazz) June 24, 2019

WE NEED TO KEEP FIGHTING BACK – LOUDLY.

The only ones going are Democrats, and DHS won’t let them into the concentration camps. https://t.co/5TbS00sRyC

— Hesiod Theogeny (@Hesiod2k11) June 24, 2019

Interesting to see Trump supporters feigning concern about this https://t.co/4hyWZSHLVU

— EricaGrieder (@EricaGrieder) June 22, 2019

Small comfort for the children now suffering — or dead — but if Senate Majority House Minority Leader ‘There’s two people Putin is paying’ McCarthy and Erik ‘Voice of the Gated GOP Community’ Erikson are alternately blustering and pantomiming Christianist concern about Trump’s concentration camps… it’s not good news for conservatives.

Clearly the GOP had assumed that enough voters were indifferent to human suffering that they could afford to tickle ‘the Base’ by kicking the untermenschen. Fortunately for the survival of our GOP-battered commonwealth, they seem to have miscalculated. Trump folds when he’s put under pressure, especially the pressure of being publicly shamed… and Trump’s enablers know that the I-was-only-following-orders defense doesn’t work in courts of law.

Career people in the government now have to face that they may be asked to defend the abhorrently indefensible and decide if they can morally do that and even if they can, realize others Trump has asked similar of are now in jail.

— Schooley (@Rschooley) June 22, 2019

I’m OK with allowing the White House & DHS officials responsible for torturing children to go to DC area restaurants & eat in peace.*

*But only if they’re forced to eat uncooked frozen food, and not allowed to brush their teeth afterward.

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) June 22, 2019

Let’s not sanitize this: it was a deliberate decision by the White House to mistreat asylees. This is child torture as policy. The people responsible for this policy should be chained and sent to The Hague.

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) June 22, 2019

So here’s what’s really interesting about this… Trump wouldn’t be doing this for political reasons if *wait for it* his own numbers didn’t show flagging support for him from within his most dedicated base. And that is a really interesting phenomenon. https://t.co/JUbkR5aiNn

— Liz Mair (@LizMair) June 22, 2019

Here are the possibilities-

??POTUS is so focused on his own survival he’s not paying attention to what is being done to children in the camps
??POTUS thinks torturing brown children plays well with his deplorables
??POTUS is a racist monster

There is no “good” explanation

— Schooley (@Rschooley) June 22, 2019

"Almost every child that I interviewed had family, parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, siblings here in the United States who are waiting for them and are ready to care for them," says law prof Warren Binford, who visited a detention center in Clint, TX https://t.co/3FH7LjEb6B

— Catherine Rampell (@crampell) June 23, 2019

EvenTheVerySeriouslyBipartisan NYTimes has jumped ship on this…

From the New York Times Editorial Board: https://t.co/bLSoFkEFKQ

— Caitlin Gibson (@CaitJGibson) June 24, 2019

GOP Venality Open Thread: Kiddie Concentration Camps, Not Polling WellPost + Comments (108)

Floriduh! Man & Woman: Easily Triggered and Not Very Bright Edition

by Adam L Silverman|  May 15, 20198:56 pm| 79 Comments

This post is in: America, Crazification Factor, Open Threads, Politics, Popular Culture, Post-racial America, Not Normal

Oy vey…

Florida man calls police on comic Ahmed Ahmed after a joke, he claims, made him and his wife feel "very uncomfortable." https://t.co/HYTgYIIVJ9

— NBC News (@NBCNews) May 15, 2019

From NBC News:

A Florida man called police to report a comedian of Middle Eastern descent who he believed had told a joke that showed support for terrorism.

Standup comic Ahmed Ahmed, who is of Egyptian descent, poked fun at negative stereotypes of Muslims during a set at Off The Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida, on Saturday night.

“Clap if you’re from the Middle East,” Ahmed said, according to a clip posted on the club’s Facebook page.

After a smattering of cheers, Ahmed slyly responded: “All right. We got a handful of us in in here, nice. But, hey, it only takes one of us … to tell a joke.”

At least one member of the audience didn’t get the punchline.

The man called the Collier County Sheriff’s Department and told a deputy that Ahmed was organizing people of Middle Eastern descent to possibly commit terrorism.

“He said, `That’s great.’ He said, `We can organize our own little terrorist organization,’ and I don’t think that was right. I mean it really bothered me,” the caller said, according to audio of the call released by the sheriff’s department. “And I yelled out, `And the paddy wagon is going to be outside to get all of you.’ “

The man added: “My wife and I looked at each other and we felt very uncomfortable.”

The caller told authorities he was only at the club because he was given free tickets.

Ahmed told NBC News on Wednesday that the “it only takes one of us” line is in his regular act and it’s never sparked any blowback.

“I’ve told that joke about 1,000 times around the world,” Ahmed said. “Whatever he heard and what I said are two different things.”

The comic said he stuck around after Saturday’s show to meet with any fans who wanted to speak with him or snap pictures.

“Terrorists don’t do meet-and-greets,” the comic said. “We don’t say, `Death to America!’ and then, `But wait, let’s do selfies first.’ “

Deputies showed up to the club Sunday before Ahmed’s set that night, briefly interviewed him and left without incident.

“They couldn’t have been nicer,” Ahmed said of the responding deputies. “One of them said, `Don’t change anything, keep doing what you’re doing.’ That was refreshing to hear.”

Club owner Brien Spina said he’s been booking Ahmed to his club for more than a decade, and won’t stop now.

“For me it was a great joke. I stand behind him,” said Spina, who booked Ahmed for another gig, on Wednesday of next week. “His show is great.”

The comic said he has no ill will toward the caller. If anything, he wants to shake his hand.

“I want to say, `Thank you,’ to him,” Ahmed said. “He got more publicity for me in that one phone call than ever. You want to talk about a blessing in disguise.”

Given that this took place in one of the more reactionary portions of the Gunshine State, Ahmed is lucky that this guy just called the cops.

You just gotta laugh. At the morons.

Open thread!

Floriduh! Man & Woman: Easily Triggered and Not Very Bright EditionPost + Comments (79)

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