Dave Weigel at Slate has the text of Romney’s Liberty U commencement address up. Even by the generous feel-good commencement-address standard, it’s extremely pander-iffic:
Today, thanks to what you have gained here, you leave Liberty with conviction and confidence as your armor. You know what you believe. You know who you are. And you know Whom you will serve. Not all colleges instill that kind of confidence, but it will be among the most prized qualities from your education here. Moral certainty, clear standards, and a commitment to spiritual ideals will set you apart in a world that searches for meaning…
… and packed full of name-checks targeted for the audience: Chik-Fil-A founder Truett Cathy, Tea Party shill Dick Armey, “Dr. Falwell” (“deserves the tribute he would have treasured most, as a cheerful, confident champion for Christ”), Rick Santorum, Martin Luther King Jr. (no “Doctor” for that guy), Chuck Colson, yadda yadda yadda. Less waving the bloody shirt, more nursing the tiny paper-cuts of professional christianist victimhood.
Weigel, who is paid to do this, gamely attempts to gin up a horserace angle:
Mitt Romney’s commencement address at Liberty University offers a smorgasboard of shout-outs to Christians from every branch of the faith: Martin Luther King, Jr., C.S. Lewis, Billy Graham, William Wilberforce, Rick Santorum. It also, very gingerly, touches on Romney’s Mormonism without mentioning it by name… Fascinating that he jumps from Mormonism, which many graduates do not consider a legitimate faith, to Colson, an ex-con who was born again in prison…
Yeeaah… don’t think so. Sure, I can imagine Romney’s handlers telling him he has to tease the Talibangelicals with the gauzy hope of converting the missionary away from his cult. But apart from all normal human considerations (upbringing, habit, social / business ties) there is less than zero chance Willard “Mitt” Romney would ever abandon the church which assures him that he is not only a Latter-Day Saint but one of the most Elect of that elect bunch: a rich, white, straight man of impeccable pedigree. And goddess knows, I don’t mind Romney being King of the Mormons; I just wish he’d stop trying to buy or bully his way to a title as King of America.
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