I’ve been depressed and anxious the last couple of days. Part of it is seasonal change, part of it is the existential dread of “what if he wins,” part of it is my shoulder hurting and just being bummed about all those years of work to get to a good place with it and then a stupid god damned fall and I am back to being in pain all day, part of it is the constant concerns about money (making less now than I did 15 years ago and having more work, I still need a roof, I still need a new water line, I’m gonna need a new car), part of it is just being old and thinking “well now the fuck what I’m nowhere near where I wanted to be,” and so on.
It will pass, but it does make me feel shitty. Just gonna keep on my schedule, keep going to the gym, doing my thing, and keeping on. What the fuck else is there to do?
In other news, the NY Times has apparently noticed for the first time that Trump is fucking insane:
The last time the nation held a debate with the presidency on the line, a candidate with about eight decades of life behind him faced the challenge of proving that he was still up to the job of running the country. He failed.
Two and a half months later, the cast of characters has shifted and another candidate heading toward the octogenarian club confronts his own test to demonstrate that he has not diminished with age. Whether he passes that test may influence who will be the next occupant of the Oval Office.
At 78, former President Donald J. Trump exhibits more energy and speaks with more volume than President Biden does at 81, but he, too, has mixed up names, confused facts and stumbled over his points. Mr. Trump’s rambling speeches, sometimes incoherent statements and extreme outbursts have raised questions about his own cognitive health and, according to polls, stimulated doubts among a majority of voters.
No fucking shit.
Banking wisely on the unending stupidity of the Republican base, Trump and Vance are pushing a new despicable and racist story:
Officials in Springfield, Ohio, said Monday they have not received any credible reports of Haitian immigrants abducting and eating pets, despite viral claims on social media that have been amplified by Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance and others.
References to the claim, which allege Haitian migrants have been eating cats, as well as ducks and geese, have garnered millions of views on X, with Vance’s X post racking up 4 million views alone, as of Monday evening. Vance, the Republican senator for Ohio, said he had previously raised the issue of Haitian immigrants “causing chaos all over Springfield,” adding, “Reports now show that people have had their pets abducted and eaten by people who shouldn’t be in this country.”
The House Judiciary GOP, Sen. Ted Cruz and Elon Musk, the owner of X, also posted about the claim on Monday. Cruz, a Texas Republican, posted a meme on X showing two cats holding each other, with text that reads “Please vote for Trump so Haitian immigrants don’t eat us.”
In other words, some white boomer somewhere in Ohio saw a black person with a dog or a cat, and a couple days of racism and hysteria later, we get to this. Fuck these people.
Joelle and I were talking the other day and we agreed that were I a warlock, I would need two familiars, because Steve and Maxwell are such completely different cats and really yin to the others yang. Maxwell follows me everywhere, has to be on top of me at all times, and Steve is the calm, measured energy, just doing his thing, making his presence known every now and then, etc.
At any rate, my new fixation is videos of animals grooming each other. I really like watching the monkeys and chimps, but birds preening each other are always super relaxing to watch, too. I wish I spoke their language and cold understand what they are saying to each other. I also find symbiotic relationships to be super cool to watch, like the oxpeckers on the backs of elephants, or wolves and crows. It’s just so cool to watch.
I was thinking about that today while I was crying in the pool. The pool is a really great place to shed a tear, because no one can tell and you can blame the red eyes on chlorine. I was doing some slow breast stroke laps and tweaked my healing shoulder, and it just overwhelmed me and all the frustration of all the things I mentioned above hit me so I sat there in the water and had a brief cathartic sad. I’m not a crier, really- when I do I really fucking do it- but always in private and it’s pretty infrequent. I used to tear up a lot more when I was a drunk, but that was usually when watching something hopecore- and it was mainly gin tears like John Boehner.
What the fuck was I talking about?
At any rate I had a sad and then it passed and now I am fine and I was thinking about symbiotic relationships in nature. There so neat and it makes so much sense and everyone gets their needs addressed and then you fuck off back to hating on everyone else. Kinda like a truce on Christmas Eve on the front. And it works out so well now, but fuck all it had to be a risky endeavor at first. I meant that first crow to fuck with a pack of wolves had to be off its fucking rocker. Or I forget what animal it is but it climbs into the mouth of a predator and cleans the teeth picking up any scraps for itself. That had to be risky as fuck the first couple of tries until the circle of trust was built.
That’s it for me. I’m going to go throw a bag of frozen peas on my shoulder and watch this show on Netflix called Pieces of Her because Toni Collette is in it. BTW- Season 4 of True Detective with Jodie Foster was great. Don’t listen to the critics. Bunch of idiots who keep expecting Season 1 but new and not realizing that that is never going to happen and each season will be unique.
*** Update ***
I forgot- James Earl Jones died, and I am very sad about that. He had such and amazing voice. I remember sitting in the radio station for hours trying to imitate it and always coming up way short. He was also in one of my favorite movies ever, Gardens of Stone, which was such a timely movie for me after spending several years in a prep school that had recently converted from a military posture.
