• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Their freedom requires your slavery.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

We still have time to mess this up!

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!

Not Normal

You are here: Home / Archives for Not Normal

Floriduh! Man: The Spirits of the Holiday Edition!

by Adam L Silverman|  January 2, 201911:07 pm| 64 Comments

This post is in: America, Crazification Factor, Criminal Justice, Open Threads, Fucked-up-edness, Not Normal

Several Floriduh! Men decided to get into the spirits of the holidays!

Four men were caught red-handed trying to get away with $500,000 worth of Patron Tequila at a Tampa-area truck stop.https://t.co/SOkEUzfyBA

— KESQ News Channel 3 (@KESQ) January 2, 2019

Fox 13 Tampa Bay blends up the story for us:

THONOTOSASSA, Fla. (FOX 13) – Half a million dollars’ worth of tequila was stolen from a truck driver in Hillsborough County, and four men are charged with the crime.

Sheriff’s deputies said a truck driver was heading from Miami to Tampa when his trailer went missing after he went into the Tampa Truck Stop for dinner off U.S. Highway 301 around 11 p.m. Sunday.

“We do know it was organized, and this had been planned because the box truck was there to meet them,” said Danny Alvarez, a spokesperson for Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies arrested Vidal Estrada, Lemuel Escobar, Humberto Ramirez and Alberto Obaya for burglary and other crimes related to the liquor theft. They are accused of detaching and stealing a trailer with 966 cases of Patron tequila inside – worth $507,105 in retail value.

According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, the truck driver went into the truck stop for dinner around 11. The owner of the convenience store told FOX 13 they close their restaurant at 5 p.m. So it’s unclear how long the driver was inside before he noticed his trailer was missing.

Deputies said the driver called to report it missing around midnight.

“When he comes outside, that trailer is gone. His cab is there, but his trailer is gone,” said Alvarez. “So, he calls the police, we respond. We send out aviation. We send out dogs, and we were looking.”

The thieves somehow managed to get roughly 11 miles away to Ike Smith Road and McIntosh Road in Thonotosassa.

“Around 12:30 a.m., we had located the trailer being off loaded into a box truck by four individuals,” Alvarez said.

By the time of their arrests, the suspects had moved 20 cases. Deputies said it was lucky the thieves stayed close by.

“Since it was right there near the highway, that truck could have easily gotten on the highway and headed north, south, east, or west and would have been out of our county in no amount of time,” said Alvarez.

As for the liquor, deputies recovered it all and are figuring out where the tequila was supposed to end up.

Deputies said the truck driver hauling the tequila is working with them to answer any other questions about the crime.

No word on whether they were also in possession of triple sec, limes, and salt.

Open thread.

Floriduh! Man: The Spirits of the Holiday Edition!Post + Comments (64)

A Nativity for Our Times

by Adam L Silverman|  December 24, 20189:33 pm| 115 Comments

This post is in: America, Domestic Politics, Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Politics, Popular Culture, Post-racial America, Religion, Silverman on Security, Not Normal

Sometime last year, right around Christmas, I came across the following drawing:

(Jose y Maria by Everett Patterson)

The drawing was done in 2014 by comics artist Everett Patterson. Since I came across this in a tweet or someone’s blog post after last Christmas had come and gone, I saved the image knowing I’d likely, and unfortunately, have a chance to use it this year. Here’s Patterson’s description of his drawing (emphasis mine):

This was our Christmas card for 2014, depicting Jesus’s parents in a modern setting. I was inspired by a number of evocative “imagine what it would have been like”-type sermons I heard earlier this year, and also (as usual) by the work of Will Eisner, who so often depicted, with religious reverence, noble individuals enduring the many minor discomforts and petty indignities of urban America.

The main goal of this illustration was to pack as many clever biblical references into the scene as possible. I won’t list every one (there are at least a dozen), but a few that I’m proudest of are: the verse from the prophet Ezekiel in the graffiti on the phone kiosk, the way the “Save More!” behind Mary’s head looks kinda like “Ave Maria!,” and the two ads for “Glad” and “Tide” on the newspaper (get it?).

A word on perspective: for this image, I chose very, very wide vanishing points. The result is what I occasionally call “middle-class white people perspective.” Rather than feeling immersed in the scene, the viewer is looking at it as if from across the street or from the warmth and safety of his or her passing car. I have a small hope that this Christmas image will come to mind when we see other “down and out” people huddling outside of gas stations, reminding us that our Savior’s parents (and indeed, Jesus himself) were at one time similarly troubled.

As I’m sure everyone is aware by now, I’m not a Christian, but it seems to me that all of the winter holidays – Diwali, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa – of 2018 are being celebrated by many in what seems to be the twilight of America. A twilight that has brought the rudest, meanest, smallest in terms of their ethical and moral stature, small minded, and bigoted people to power who seek, for a variety of reasons, to rule not to govern. Some, like the President, his family, the Secretary of Commerce, and the former Secretaries of HHS and Interior, and the Director of the EPA, seek merely to enrich themselves. Some, like the Vice President, the Secretaries of Education and HUD, the former Attorney General, the Acting Attorney General, and the White House Press Secretary, seek to impose a white, largely evangelical* Christian herrenvolk democracy. Some, like Senator McConnell, Leonard Leo, Stephen Miller, John Bolton, and far too many others, seek to manipulate the President into fulfilling their own personal revanchist, anti-liberal democracy agendas. These men and women, some true believers, some merely opportunists, would have turned away Joseph, Mary, and Jesus as they fled from the danger of Herod through the dangers of the desert to the dangers of being strangers in the Land of Egypt even though most of them profess to be the most devoted followers of Jesus and his teachings.

There is, however, always hope. There are people who are doing good things for others. Who are trying to make a difference one good act, act of kindness, and/or act of charity at a time. Who are doing their best to embody the real meaning and ethic of the Christmas holiday season.

Grateful to everyone who has donated so far — and to all of those on the ground here in El Paso who are helping with temporary shelter, food & other help for these families. I will share volunteer opportunities in El Paso for those in the area as soon as they are shared with me.

— Beto O'Rourke (@BetoORourke) December 24, 2018

While there isn't a need for donations of used clothing at this moment, Annunciation House is looking for NEW socks, underwear, and bras. Sizes small and medium for men, women, and children. They can be brought to the donation site (from 8am-8pm) at 1003 E San Antonio Ave.

— Beto O'Rourke (@BetoORourke) December 24, 2018

You can also volunteer directly through Annunciation House. They're looking for people who are willing to drive refugees to the bus station and airport. To get started, email [email protected] and a volunteer lead will get back to you.

— Beto O'Rourke (@BetoORourke) December 24, 2018

The migrants stand by inhaling the delicious aromas waiting for it to be ready while they make jokes -it’s paella o pa’ Ella. pic.twitter.com/j5v5mJAhMB

— ??????????? (@Andalalucha) December 23, 2018

Armando Rodiel- an award winning Paella chef helped make the event happen- Originally from Valencia, Spain he says Paella is about community pic.twitter.com/6suW3Tm9tt

— ??????????? (@Andalalucha) December 23, 2018

Around the corner from the shelter Honduran and Salvadoran migrants are preparing 6000 tamales for Xmas – this is a DIY effort of ? pic.twitter.com/3fJRCamBjL

— ??????????? (@Andalalucha) December 23, 2018

Paella Sin Fronteras. Paella without borders. pic.twitter.com/kZNkPOlBfm

— ??????????? (@Andalalucha) December 24, 2018

Hope is not a strategy, but it is essential for survival. And America is not simply an outline on a map, it is an ideal. So keep the faith and hold the line.

Merry Christmas to all those Juicers and jackals who observe it!

Open thread!

* The coalition of religious conservatives is, of course, larger than just those from the evangelical Christian denominations that we refer to as Evangelicals, Charismatics, and Fundamentalists. It also includes traditionalist Catholics, some members of the Church of Latter Day Saints, and some ultra-Orthodox Jews. The reality, however, is that if the goals of religious conservatives are ever achieved in the US, the evangelical Christians will turn on the traditionalist Catholics, the Mormons, and the ultra-Orthodox Jews. Then they will turn on each other as the Evangelicals, the Charismatics, and the Fundamentalists don’t actually agree on matters of theology and dogma. The pursuit of doctrinal purity can only lead to purge after purge.

A Nativity for Our TimesPost + Comments (115)

Footage of the President Meeting With (What’s Left of) His Cabinet

by Adam L Silverman|  December 24, 20185:02 pm| 71 Comments

This post is in: 2020 Elections, America, Crazification Factor, Domestic Politics, Election 2016, Foreign Affairs, Humorous, Open Threads, Politics, Popular Culture, Post-racial America, Not Normal

Thanks to an intrepid White House pool videographer, we have footage of the President meeting with his cabinet today.

Open thread!

Footage of the President Meeting With (What’s Left of) His CabinetPost + Comments (71)

A Dispatch From the War on Christmas

by Adam L Silverman|  December 23, 201811:35 pm| 81 Comments

This post is in: America, Crazification Factor, Domestic Politics, Open Threads, Politics, Popular Culture, Post-racial America, General Stupidity, Not Normal

The brave resistance fighters in the War on Christmas have risked life and limb to smuggle out this footage from War on Christmas detainee camp #6, also known by its official name of Camp Kringle. The conditions in the war on Christmas detainee camps are worse than anyone could have imagined…

The resistance informs me that since Camp Kringle is full, new detainees are being sent to Camp Sugar Plum Fairies (Camp 17), Camp Sleigh Bells (Camp 72), and Camp Lords a Leaping (Camp 134). All resistance units should be on alert for infiltrators and informants!

Stay Frosty. Just like those three guys in the front row the between the Santas…

Open thread!

A Dispatch From the War on ChristmasPost + Comments (81)

There’s Dumb and Then There’s Katrina Pierson Dumb!

by Adam L Silverman|  December 20, 20188:13 pm| 173 Comments

This post is in: 2020 Elections, America, Ammosexuals, Crazification Factor, Election 2016, Foreign Affairs, Gun nuts, Open Threads, Politics, Popular Culture, Post-racial America, Clown car, Not Normal

Who wants to tell her?

Since everyone is just now realizing his staffers role in the #RussiaHoax We have been asking questions! John McCain Still Refuses to Answer Questions About His Role in the Dossier https://t.co/acsVdH1GTq

— Katrina Pierson (@KatrinaPierson) December 21, 2018

She might want to try using one of these:

Don’t be like Katrina Pierson!

Open thread.

Yes, I know the article she’s linked to is from 2017, but the tweet is from today.

 

There’s Dumb and Then There’s Katrina Pierson Dumb!Post + Comments (173)

Secretary Mattis’s Resignation Letter: That’s Going to Leave a Mark!

by Adam L Silverman|  December 20, 20185:54 pm| 166 Comments

This post is in: 2020 Elections, America, Domestic Politics, Foreign Affairs, Military, Open Threads, Politics, Popular Culture, Post-racial America, Silverman on Security, Not Normal

Here’s Secretary Mattis’s resignation letter. Professional, polite, cutting.

If we’re very, very lucky we’ll get GEN (ret) Keane as the next Secretary of Defense. If we’re not, we’ll get Senator Cotton.

Edited to Add: I have never seen a Marine sign a letter without either “Semper Fi” or “S/F” over their signature. I have former Marine teammates from when I was at USAWC who finish their informal emails to me with “S/F”. This is a tell!

Open thread!

Secretary Mattis’s Resignation Letter: That’s Going to Leave a Mark!Post + Comments (166)

A Few Thoughts on The President’s Announced Withdrawal of US Forces and Personnel from Syria

by Adam L Silverman|  December 19, 20185:37 pm| 117 Comments

This post is in: America, Election 2016, Foreign Affairs, Military, Open Threads, Silverman on Security, Not Normal

I want to share a few thoughts on the President’s announcement this morning that US Forces and personnel will be immediately, or as immediate as is ever possible when the military is involved, withdrawn from Syria. Some of you are aware that I was involved with, and provided inputs for, the development of the US’s theater strategy for combatting ISIS in Syria and Iraq specifically through pre-deployment strategic analysis and assessment, and have provided remote reachback support to senior personnel (both a former boss and a number of my former students) deployed at Combined Joint Task Force Operation Inherent Resolve and its subordinate elements. I have also either been asked if I would be willing to deploy back to Iraq or have offered to do so several times since 2013. None of those potential deployments materialized. Please keep all of this in mind when you read this post. I clearly have some subjective involvement in and attachment to what we’re currently doing, even with the changes that were made once the current administration came into office in January 2017. I’m going to keep this as brief as possible to avoid potential problems related to my past work on this problem set.

This morning the President announced that he was ordering an immediate withdrawal of US military and civilian personnel from Syria. We now know what that means, provided it is not changed, adjusted, and/or cancelled given that DOD, State, and the National Security Council and Staff appear to have been blindsided by the President’s announcement.

BREAKING — All US troops to withdraw from Syria in 60-100 days, US official to Reuters

— Ragıp Soylu (@ragipsoylu) December 19, 2018

The immediate, within 24 hour removal of State Department personnel, while not logistically difficult, is a huge issue. The personnel being withdrawn were working on the civilian side of the Stability Operations we are conducting. This includes the USAID personnel who are working with internally displaced Syrians, as well as refugees in the region and coordinating humanitarian relief and assistance with local NGOs and other local groups. The military withdrawal will, of course, take longer because it isn’t just removing personnel, but equipment, which will obviously take longer than 24 hours.

So what, exactly, are we actually doing in Syria? What is it that will stop as a result of this withdrawal order? We are basically doing two things in Syria. The first is a train, advise, and assist mission with our local Syrian partners who are predominantly Kurdish, but some are Arabs, who are fighting ISIS. This is a Special Forces mission supported by a some Marine Corps artillery. The second thing we’re doing is, as an extension of the train, advise, and assist mission, conducting stability operations among the Syrian population where we are partnered with and training our local Syrian partners. This is being done within a “by, with, and through” strategy of partnering with vetted local groups. If we pull out there will be four immediate effects.

  1. The collapse of the local stabilization we’re contributing to. This will result in increased internally displaced Syrians and Syrian refugees who will flee ahead of both Syrian and ISIS efforts to fill the vacuum the withdrawal will create.
  2. As a result of the first effect, we will see an increased humanitarian crisis in the areas we withdraw from.
  3. We will once again have abandoned the Kurds despite the promises we’ve made to them, which further diminishes the United States ability to exercise any form of national power (Diplomatic, Information, Military, Economic), because it further demonstrates that we can’t be trusted, won’t keep our word, and can’t be counted on.
  4. The vacuum and destabilization created by the withdrawal will be filled by both Syrian forces and ISIS. They will move to occupy and control the areas we’ve left, will fight each other in them, and this will lead to further destabilization in Syria and, potentially, throughout the Levant. It creates new stresses, challenges, and threats for Iraq and Lebanon, as well as for Israel and Turkey even though both of those states have been pursuing their own interests in Syria. And because of increased refugee outflows, it will increase pressures and problems for our allies in the EU.

2/ “… Earlier this month, CJCS” — the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff — “said there’s only eight thousand trained (local) forces in Syria and we need 40 thousand to defeat ISIS. Where did POTUS get the information to make this decision?”

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) December 19, 2018

We have not, no matter what the President has said, defeated ISIS. While it is true that ISIS has lost its physical holdings – the self declared caliphate – this actually makes them more dangerous, not less. They are no longer required to try to hold their territorial gains, nor are they required to provide the functions of a state within the self declared caliphate. As a result they have actually been liberated to focus on a low intensity irregular and asymmetric war to achieve their objective: the spread and imposition of their extreme understanding of tawheed/the radical unity of the Deity on their fellow Muslims. This includes forcefully and, if necessary, violently cracking down on what they define as innovation in Islam/Islamic practice (bidda), unbelief (kufr), apostasy (ridda), and polytheism (shirk). Freed of having to create and administer a state – the self declared caliphate – ISIS has been freed up to actually become more dangerous and more lethal. ISIS fighters are now free to go anywhere and fight everywhere. Destroying the physical caliphate, while an important step in reducing ISIS and its ability to do harm within and without the Levant, is not itself a defeat of ISIS. And, as counterintuitive as it may seem, it actually increases ISIS’s lethality within and without the Levant in the short term. This is not something that US policymakers, as well as the senior military and civilian leaders tasked with reducing ISIS were unaware of. As is always the case when pursuing strategic objectives, achieving one creates new problems that require new, or at least adjusted, strategies to resolve.

Our withdrawal, especially an immediate one, also creates openings for the regional powers that have been using the Syrian Civil War as a proxy war to achieve their own regional objectives. The Syrian Civil War, of which the fight against ISIS is only one facet, has been facilitated and worsened because the Saudis, the Iranians, and the Turks have all used the civil war itself, as well as the proxies they are funding and supporting within it, to try to become the regional hegemon. These three regional powers are largely pursuing a religio-political hegemony.

The Saudis seek to establish themselves as the leaders of a Sunni Muslim Middle East, rooted in their state sanctioned form of Islam – Salafism. Salafism, meaning fundamentalism, is really tawheed – Muhammed ibn Abdul Wahhab’s doctrine of the radical unity of the Deity as the focus of Islam. The Iranians seek to consolidate and maintain the sphere of influence they have created in and through Iraq and Lebanon, both Twelver Shi’a majority states, and Syria, which is controlled by the Alawites a Shi’a offshoot that the Supreme Religious Authority in Iran has declared is actually Shi’a. Erdogan in Turkey seeks to return the Turks to their historic role of influencing and dominating the Middle East, the trans-Caucusus, and Central Asia as the East/West and North/South gateway in the region.

The Israelis are also trying to manipulate the Syrian Civil War to create and achieve their long standing goal of creating strategic depth between themselves and the Iranians. Which is why Netanyahu has been dealing directly with Putin in regard to just how far Iranian regular and irregular forces are allowed to proceed in Syria. This deal between Netanyahu and Putin also appears to be why the President ordered a partial withdrawal of US military and civilian personnel who were supporting rebel groups and helping to provide local stability in Syria near the Israeli border earlier this year.

Finally, Russia has its own interests in Syria. They need to maintain their warm water port at Latakia. But they also need the Syrian Civil War, as well as the threat posed by ISIS, for as long as possible. Putin’s strategic objective here is to keep the Levant unstable for as long as possible in order to maximize refugee flows into Europe and thereby provide the nationalist and neo-fascist movements, political parties, and politicians he’s supporting with an ongoing divisive issue in his ongoing attempt to exacerbate domestic political issues within Europe in order to rip apart the European Union and NATO.

Senior GOP Nat-Sec official on Syria troop withdrawal: "This is the Trump foreign policy everyone feared: rash geopolitical decisions with little benefit for U.S. security… will only incentivize more aggressive behavior from countries like Russia and China."

— Eli Stokols (@EliStokols) December 19, 2018

If the President’s announcement of an immediate withdrawal was part of a well developed strategy to achieve the US’s policy objectives of defeating ISIS and stabilizing the Levant, then I would be very supportive. We shouldn’t have personnel deployed where despite their tactical successes, they are unable to achieve the larger US and allied strategic objectives. This dynamic has been the case in Afghanistan for years, which is why the best thing that can happen in the Afghan theater of operations is a negotiated settlement and a withdrawal of almost all US military personnel. Any ongoing mission in Afghanistan, provided the Afghans would be interested, should be all about political and economic development, which can be accomplished a lot more effectively by civilian subject matter experts from the civilian agencies of the US government and our coalition partners and allies. This, however, is not the case in Syria. ISIS is not defeated and, if anything, is even more dangerous as it is now freed from having to defend actual physical territory. And the Syrian Civil War is still ongoing and destabilizing the Levant as well as Europe. The limited/light footprint train, advise, and assist strategy we are currently pursuing still has merit. It should not be abandoned on a whim.

Open thread.

A Few Thoughts on The President’s Announced Withdrawal of US Forces and Personnel from SyriaPost + Comments (117)

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Go to page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 4
  • Go to page 5
  • Go to page 6
  • Go to page 7
  • Go to page 8
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 92
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • smith on Who Can’t Find Their Pants Now? (Jun 2, 2023 @ 7:01pm)
  • Omnes Omnibus on Who Can’t Find Their Pants Now? (Jun 2, 2023 @ 7:01pm)
  • NotMax on Who Can’t Find Their Pants Now? (Jun 2, 2023 @ 7:00pm)
  • Ramalama on Who Can’t Find Their Pants Now? (Jun 2, 2023 @ 6:58pm)
  • WendyBinFL on Pride Month Allies: Let’s Share This Far and Wide (Jun 2, 2023 @ 6:57pm)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup on Sat 5/13 at 5pm!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc