Did I ever tell y’all about the time a seagull ruined a romantic picnic I staged on the shore of the Charles River in Boston? The dude I was trying to impress was my last boyfriend before I came back home to Florida and met my husband, to whom I’ve been married for almost 27 years, so it was a long time ago…

I got the idea for an outdoor lunch after I won a wicker picnic basket in a raffle. I stuffed it with hand-crafted goodies like crustless sandwiches, noodle salad and chocolate-dipped strawberries. I acquired a bottle of Mouton Cadet, which was the fanciest wine I could conceive of at the time.
All this we carted to a dock near the Esplanade. We spread our red-and-white gingham picnic blanket, sat down, uncorked the wine, filled our glasses and began distributing food onto our plastic plates.
Just then, a LARGE seagull landed on the dock a few feet away. At first, we were fascinated and charmed by its proximity and watched it, smiling. Then, it reared back its head and violently vomited up a half-masticated fish onto the dock! Immediately, the gull attempted to swallow the fish again, getting it half-way down its gullet before gagging it onto the deck again.
The commotion attracted other seagulls, who tried to swoop in to take the fish (and dive-bomb our plates). The activity increased the frantic attempts of the original gull to eat the fish it had barfed up. It repeated the half-swallow-and-gag process half a dozen times or more until it finally succeeded in swallowing the entire fish again and flew away.
It was so gross! We lost our appetite for lunch but finished the wine. The romance was soon finished too — for unrelated reasons. I don’t know why, but I recalled the incident for the first time in many years yesterday and thought I’d share. I hope no one is reading this over lunch!
Open thread!



