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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

In my day, never was longer.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

We still have time to mess this up!

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

The words do not have to be perfect.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Let there be snark.

After roe, women are no longer free.

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Bring on the Brawndo!

You are here: Home / Archives for Bring on the Brawndo!

Friday Morning Open Thread: Maybe Just Enjoy the Weekend

by Anne Laurie|  July 5, 20194:14 am| 121 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links, Hail to the Hairpiece, Music, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Women's Rights Are Human Rights, All Too Normal, Bring on the Brawndo!

when it's a nice day so you're ignoring your problems pic.twitter.com/LMDoaxH7vh

— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) July 4, 2019

Gotta hand it to our military. Trump wanted the pomp and celebration of a massive Bastille Day parade. What he got was four armored vehicles on display in the rain, a few football game flyovers and the military service chiefs didn't even show up.

DoD slow-walking at its finest.

— Brandon Friedman (@BFriedmanDC) July 5, 2019

Speaking of weird “patriotic” co-optations… I knew that Gretchen Peters’ “Independence Day” was not exactly an America Fvck Yeah! anthem, but then I was living in the area during the Francine Hughes trial. What I had *not* known, until now, was that the song has been claimed by the same sort of rightwing nitwits who think “Born in the USA” is about how Ronald Reagan made jingoism kewl again. From Rolling Stone, “How a Song About Domestic Violence Got Mistaken for a Patriotic Anthem”:

When Martina McBride’s “Independence Day” was released to country radio in April 1994, it was easy to mistake the country song for a U-S-A! U-S-A! anthem. It was titled after America’s most patriotic holiday after all, and its irresistible chorus of “Let freedom ring!” seemed custom-made for small-town Fourth of July celebrations to come. But the true meaning behind “Independence Day,” written by Gretchen Peters and recorded by powerhouse vocalist McBride, was lost on many listeners — the seemingly July 4th holiday hit turned out to be a story of domestic violence and one woman’s drastic measures to escape abuse at home.

“I started getting all these letters — handwritten letters, back in the day — from women saying, ‘This is my song,’” McBride says now. “I got a few letters that said, ’I heard this song on the radio, I’ve been battered for 10 years, and I left. This was the thing that made me realize that it’s not my fault, that I need to make a change.’”

Throughout the past 25 years, both McBride and Peters have watched as their song has taken on a life entirely of its own — not just in its cathartic impact for victims of abuse, but also in its misinterpretation for political means. Sean Hannity used the song as a theme on his radio show from shortly after 9/11 until 2014; Sarah Palin chose it as a walk-on song during her Vice Presidential campaign. Peters, in particular, has been saddled with a patriotic anthem she did not write.

“As the writer, I always believe that it’s very powerful to know what your story’s about and know your characters, but not necessarily put it all in there,” she says. “Because I think it invites the listener to play a part. The danger there is that those kinds of songs are much more easily misconstrued.”…

Somehow a song about deliberate cruelty driving its victims to a terrible revenge seems appropriate right at the moment, or maybe that’s just me. It’s a darned catchy ditty, regardless!

Friday Morning Open Thread: Maybe Just Enjoy the WeekendPost + Comments (121)

Trumpocalypse Open Thread: Damp Fireworks

by Anne Laurie|  July 4, 201910:42 pm| 30 Comments

This post is in: Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality, Trumpery, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, Bring on the Brawndo!

Actually the smoke from too many fireworks is obscuring the show. Grucci cmon pic.twitter.com/1xUv71CCc0

— Gene Park (@GenePark) July 5, 2019

The cloud obscuring the #fourthofjuly fireworks looks like Trump’s hair. The man bends nature to his will and image. pic.twitter.com/bkaIauXzhx

— Gene Park (@GenePark) July 5, 2019

The webcam at the National Mall was abruptly shut down without notice and has been removed from the https://t.co/htcTPrpZCO site. Presumably to stop viewers from seeing the lack of attendees at the #TrumpParade. We are about to relive Trump’s inauguration all over again. pic.twitter.com/dDzoGLhkPK

— Spin Doctor (@SpinDr) July 4, 2019

tonight’s event is tanking https://t.co/5w33spoNlZ

— George Conway (@gtconway3d) July 4, 2019

Current crowd estimate is 3.4 million people. pic.twitter.com/Bh8B0ezV4X

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) July 4, 2019

The #TrumpParade is EMPTY! There isn’t 3.4 million in attendance, maybe 10k+ af the most and it’s torrential downpour with crowds leaving. @realDonaldTrump #MAGA ?? pic.twitter.com/75QYvcJka7

— Enlightened (@BwashedSheeple) July 4, 2019

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Trumpocalypse Open Thread: Damp FireworksPost + Comments (30)

Open Thread: Trumpocalypse, Naw

by Anne Laurie|  July 3, 20196:39 pm| 72 Comments

This post is in: Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Repubs in Disarray!, Bring on the Brawndo!, Our Awesome Meritocracy, Schadenfreude, WIN THE MORNING

Our July 4th Salute to America at the Lincoln Memorial is looking to be really big. It will be the show of a lifetime!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 3, 2019

The big question for the fireworks display that is concerning folks around potus, per multiple administration officials – will the crowds actually show up, or will this be inauguration redux?

— Maggie Haberman (@maggieNYT) July 3, 2019

“An informal survey of more than a half dozen Trump donors and allies showed that none plan to attend. Several Republicans close to the White House returned POLITICO’s calls from beaches at least one plane ride away from Washington.” https://t.co/1WB0H2ZdIV

— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) July 3, 2019

… “They started this too late and everyone has plans already,” said Dan Eberhart, a Republican donor and CEO of the drilling services company Canary, LLC. “Everyone will be there in spirit, but in reality, people planned their July 4th activities weeks ago.”

Less than 36 hours before the event, White House aides were crafting Trump’s speech, while administration and RNC officials finalized the guest lists.

A White House official declined to explain the system for handing out tickets or the various tiers of VIP access, except to say the reserved seating area — extending from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to the middle the reflecting pool — will feature veterans, Trump family and friends and special guests. The first lady, vice president and second lady, and a number of Cabinet officials are expected to attend, as well as several senior White House officials — though the aide stressed this, too, was still coming together.

“They are creating this thing from scratch, and I do not know if anyone knows how it will go off,” said another White House aide. “There are questions about the ticket distribution and who will show up. The weather might be bad. Heads are spinning.”…

The Trump event has caused tension throughout Washington during what is a typically a quiet vacation week. Congress is on recess and many D.C. residents typically use this stretch of time to escape D.C.’s humidity…

Nothing sums up the Trump administration quite like being unprepared to celebrate a holiday that's occurred on the same day since the 18th century https://t.co/3c5f4bbQD7

— Gregg Carlstrom (@glcarlstrom) July 3, 2019

2 tanks + 2 Bradleys parked on the National Mall is simultaneously a hideous message about militarism over democracy AND a limp, pathetic attempt to placate the most toddlerish of boomers.

It's the Red Square equivalent of a bouncy castle.

— Zeddy (@Zeddary) July 3, 2019

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Open Thread: Trumpocalypse, NawPost + Comments (72)

Dark Pre-Dawn Open Thread: Trump Rallies His (Extremely) Base

by Anne Laurie|  June 19, 20194:55 am| 36 Comments

This post is in: 2020 Elections, Getting The Band Back Together, Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, All Too Normal, Bring on the Brawndo!

new Quinnipiac Florida poll as President Trump announces his 2020 re-election campaign at Orlando rally:

Biden 50%, Trump 41%

also,

Sanders 48%, Trump 42%
Warren 47%, Trump 43%
Harris 45%, Trump 44%
O’Rourke 45%, Trump 44%
Buttigieg 44%, Trump 43%

— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) June 18, 2019

MSNBC is not carrying the Trump re-election event live.

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) June 19, 2019

I’ll put most of this below the fold, but my Irish sense of grievance convinces me that you shouldn’t take your eyes off these people, not for one bloody-minded minute.

It was Dan Dale’s first live-tweeting of a Trump rally for CNN — flatter than Dale’s usual, but that’s probably not his fault.

“Trump took extraordinary steps to make the 2018 House races all about his depiction of asylum seekers as a national security threat, and…Republicans suffered their biggest electoral wipeout in the House since Watergate.” – ?@ThePlumLineGS? https://t.co/AcMWA5jdOb

— Tim O'Brien (@TimOBrien) June 18, 2019

Per the Washington Post:

… [A]t around 1:30 p.m., clouds charged in, and with them a heavy breeze that left vendors trying to hold their tents to the ground. Just as the man at the gate announced that he could not let anyone else into the arena, thunder boomed. Shortly after, a voice on the loudspeaker declared that anyone not in line at that moment would not be making it into the building right away.

Moments later, a drenching rain fell.

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Dark Pre-Dawn Open Thread: Trump Rallies His (Extremely) BasePost + Comments (36)

Excellent (Orlando-Alternative) Read: “The Man Who Was Upset”

by Anne Laurie|  June 18, 201910:28 pm| 59 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Excellent Links, Television, Bring on the Brawndo!, Decline and Fall, Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated?

Anyway it's both unhelpful and almost cruel to put Trump on TV at all like CBS is doing. His mind is thick chowder and he can't/won't tell the truth. We should all already know what he is by now, which is exactly what he appears to be.

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 17, 2019

In my opinion, David Roth is poised to follow in the footsteps of great commentors like Damon Runyon, Roy Blount, and Charles P. Pierce as he moves from sportwriting to politics. This is from the New Republic:

… Even after the hit NBC reality show The Apprentice rebuilt his personal fortune and retooled his image from Gilded Tabloid Oaf to Glowering Dealmaster, Trump never declined an opportunity to fish a quarter out of the toilet when the situation presented itself. That reflexive and amoral avarice is one of the ignoble truths of Trump, but it’s subsidiary to the most important and elemental fact about the man, which is that he never does or says anything new. Some things may be shaded slightly differently from one blurt or boast to the next—every number he says invariably cheats upward over time, and he periodically adds new scenes and jokes to the metastasizing stand-up act that he rolls out at his rallies… 


At this stage in his sublimely unexamined life and increasingly evident cognitive decline, Trump isn’t really capable of very compelling misdirections or even passably convincing falsehoods. He digresses because he loses the plot, and he lies when the truth wouldn’t look good on him; he distracts himself and tells himself lies because it is the only way to square what is actually happening with what he would prefer to be happening. (In this, he is but building on the spiritual birthright bestowed on him by his dad: Fred Trump was an ardent worshipper at the Marble Collegiate Church of Norman Vincent Peale, the reactionary business prophet who distilled many failed superpower incantations of his own in his blockbuster self-help tract, The Power of Positive Thinking. Peale presided over Donald’s first wedding in 1977, and remains Trump’s most frequently cited spiritual mentor.)

Where the media has failed and continues to fail is in its insistence that Trump is doing all of this, or any of it, for the same reason that other politicians are understood to have aimed to distract or chosen to lie. When this tendency is criticized, the criticism often arrives in the form of some lamentation that the media is still covering Trump as if he were a Normal President.


That criticism is reasonable as far as it goes, which is not nearly far enough. A series of long-standing procedural and political and discursive norms really have failed the essential challenge that Trumpian politics and Trump’s own bulletproof shamelessness present. But the steepness and rapidity of their fall raises some serious questions about just how sturdy they were to begin with. The spectacle of expert analysts and thought leaders parsing the actions of a man with no expertise or capacity for analysis is the purest acid satire—but less because of how badly that expert analysis has failed than because of how sincerely misplaced it is. Trump represents an extraordinary challenge to political media precisely because there is nothing here to parse, no hidden meanings or tactical elisions or slow-rolled strategic campaign. Mainstream political media and Trump’s opponents in the Democratic Party conceive of politics as chess, a matter of feints and sacrifices and moves made so as to open the way for other moves. There’s an element of romance to this vision, which is a crucial tenet in a certain type of big-D Democratic thought and also something like the reason why anyone would need to employ a political analyst. But Trump is not playing chess. The man is playing Hungry Hungry Hippos… 


The politics of Fox News are reactionary, but they are also hard to pin down—they are about a feeling, a combination of distaste and distrust for all the things that other people are getting away with and seem so entitled to out there. This hunched and feral posture of grievance is then combined with a fiercely put-upon impatience with the service that viewers themselves are receiving… 


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Excellent (Orlando-Alternative) Read: “The Man Who Was Upset”Post + Comments (59)

Late Night Clown Shoes Open Thread: Mike Pence Loves A Man in Uniform

by Anne Laurie|  June 11, 20193:33 am| 48 Comments

This post is in: Military, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement, Bring on the Brawndo!, Flash Mob of Hate

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to see an aged but well connected shlub vainly guess how to stand at attention in a uniform that’s never been inspected or tailored, enjoy your feast pic.twitter.com/BVJe9TVwbq

— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) June 10, 2019

But he’ll settle for… whatever this is:

The 47-year-old O-1, commissioned alone by the VP whose political party he ran, at a full press conference in choker whites. This is such a fucking joke https://t.co/8m5tG5YX6J

— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) June 10, 2019

I chuckled at the Reince Navy news but reserved major judgment when it was first floated awhile back. Strings had to be pulled, but maybe he really wanted to serve, right? If he’d just done it quietly, fine. But this fucking organized pony show makes the grift total and obvious

— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) June 10, 2019

To be fair, "Make the grift total and obvious" is pretty much the party slogan these days.

— Bryce Dubee (@Dubeeous) June 10, 2019

I hear both Gilbert AND Sullivan attended.

— Andy Gill (@andygill17) June 10, 2019

47 year old Ensign? What is this, the “Make-A-Wish” Foundation?

— All The Winning… (@sockalexis2003) June 11, 2019

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Late Night Clown Shoes Open Thread: Mike Pence Loves A Man in UniformPost + Comments (48)

Late Night Clown Shoes Open Thread: To the… MARS, Alice!

by Anne Laurie|  June 7, 201911:49 pm| 49 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Space, All Too Normal, Bring on the Brawndo!

We should tariff Mars until they give the moon back. https://t.co/ft5AoWYmIm

— Benn Steil (@BennSteil) June 7, 2019

1) Windmills
2) Self-driving cars
3) Rule of law https://t.co/IFtf0CTGPP

— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) June 7, 2019

They could have blamed it on jet lag (or TBH on having to behave like some approximation of a grown-up for a whole three days in a row), but that would’ve implied their Dear Leader was susceptible to the weaknesses of mere mortals…

One Small Tweet for Trump, One Giant Question for NASA’s Moon Plans https://t.co/asGSP2DtwK

— erin mccann | (@mccanner) June 7, 2019

… At a meeting of the NASA Advisory Council last week, William H. Gerstenmaier, NASA’s associate administrator for human exploration and operations, said that it was unlikely that appropriators in Congress would agree to provide all the money needed for a 2024 moon landing, and that the agency would likely have to cut the budgets for other areas of the space agency.

Hours after the tweet was sent, a White House official attempted to clarify Mr. Trump’s meaning, saying that the administration’s space goals were unchanged. The official added that by seeking additional resources for a journey to the moon within the next five years, the Trump administration intended to accelerate a crewed American visit to Mars…

More and more people are recognizing it. pic.twitter.com/WG95VwVOt6

— Schooley (@Rschooley) June 7, 2019

Sorry, but I'm not going to get too torn up by people not decoding what President Makestuffupalot "really meant" in his tortured syntax of a tweet.

— Schooley (@Rschooley) June 7, 2019

When Trump starts tweeting about a weird thing for no apparent reason…

Left, Fox Business, 12:26 p.m.

Neil Cavuto: NASA is "refocusing on the moon, the next sort of quest, if you will, but didn't we do this moon thing quite a few decades ago?"

Right, Trump, 1:38 p.m. pic.twitter.com/oRTPu4TWEm

— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) June 7, 2019

Late Night Clown Shoes Open Thread: <em>To the… MARS, Alice!</em>Post + Comments (49)

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