Any decent, well-mannered American who travels abroad probably crosses paths with a Stars-and-Stripes Stereotype now and then: a fellow American on holiday making an ass of themselves. I once saw an American guy shaking with rage at an airport counter in Charles De Gaulle. All our flights had been upended by a transport strike, and he was DEMANDING that he be seated in business class, as per his original ticket. “I am an AMERICAN and we don’t care about your little SOCIALIST COUNTRY,” he said. “I have RIGHTS as a CUSTOMER.”
There are the idiots, like the woman I heard insisting that the place we were both visiting—Conwy Castle, in Wales—was a copy of the original, because there was no way the original would still be standing, as “no buildings last more than 400 years.” There are also the people visiting small towns where English isn’t spoken trying to communicate with locals by speaking English LOUDLY AND SLOWLY. (And in the interest of fairness, I’ll note that I’ve also seen a lot of similar behaviour from Brits in Europe. Must be something about faded empires run by white guys.)
These people are all pikers compared to our heinous douchecanoe of a vice president. Per the Times of London, “JD Vance and His Forty 4x4s Visit the Vatican During Trip to Rome” (that’s an archive.is link; there’s no paywall):
A trip to the Sistine Chapel is near the top of the bucket list for most Americans making their first trip to Rome. Few visitors are able to do so in such grand style as JD Vance, who turned up at the Vatican on Saturday aboard a traffic-clogging motorcade of 40 black 4x4s. . . .
He was accompanied to the Vatican by his wife, Usha, and their three young children. The second family was then given a private tour of the Sistine Chapel.
Later Usha enjoyed an evening visit to the Colosseum — which her husband had also been scheduled to attend before a last-minute change of plan — where she was given a personal tour of the arena, famous for its gladiatorial combats and naval battles, by Alfonsina Russo, the director.
Lesser mortals unlucky enough to have booked their own visit had to make do with a refund — but not all of them had got the message. There were chaotic scenes as some would-be visitors tried to open the gates surrounding the building, while others climbed over the fences, ticket in hand, trying to force their way in. Some chanted “shame” or anti-American slogans when they learnt the reason for the closure, Italian media reported.
Among the disappointed was Stephen Fishler, 58, a businessman from New York who arrived with his family in good time for his 6pm slot, but was turned away without explanation. “What does he think he is, special?” complained Fishler, himself a Trump voter. “JD should have waited until the Americans who had tickets had their visit and then gone in.” His wife, Anila, tried to calm him down and blamed the Italians.
Screw tourists from any other country, obviously: the Americans deserved special treatment.
I despair. Open thread, though I hope those of you who have visited or lived abroad will vent about the idiot American tourists you’ve encountered.
JD Vance Is the Worst Kind of American TouristPost + Comments (146)
